Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of Sep 25:

I find myself taking Step Three over and over again. Unfortunately, I often wait until a problem starts to overwhelm me before I finally give in and turn it over to my Higher Power. Nevertheless, today I am striving to place my entire will and life in my Higher Power’s hands with the willingness to accept His or Her will for me, no matter what. The awareness I have gained in Al-Anon lets me know that my way has seldom worked in the past. It’s only when I let go and trust the inner voice that quietly nudges me in the direction of my Higher Power’s choosing that my life becomes fulfilling.

Today’s Reminder

Is there an area in my life that I treat as though it were too important to turn over to a Higher Power? Are my efforts to control that area making my life better and more manageable? Are they doing any good at all? I can hold on to my will until the situation becomes so painful that I am forced to submit, or I can put my energy where it can do me some good right now, and surrender to my Higher Power’s care.

”I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.” ~ Martin Luther

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I once lived under the delusion that my will and God’s will were locked in combat, mutually exclusive, one destined to erase the other. That was the lie of separation, the lie of addiction, the lie of control. The truth is sharper: when I refuse to know myself, I cannot know my Higher Power. But when I dare to look straight at who I am—my scars, my fury, my hunger—I discover convergence. To thy own self be true is not rebellion against God; it is the doorway to God.

Submission is not servitude. It is Positive Selfishness in its highest form. It is Intelligent Self-Patriotism—protecting my sovereignty while admitting that power beyond me keeps me from destroying myself. I do not surrender into nothingness. I surrender into alignment with the Infinite, who carries the code of my freedom.

Step Three confronts me with this question: Will I grip, or will I release? My instinct, my reflexive will, is to hold on until pain breaks me. That stubbornness is part of my refusal to bow to false narratives, even when those falsehoods come from within me. But here is the paradox: the longer I grip, the more I lose. The more I release, the more remains mine.

When I insist on control, my life shrinks, darkens, isolates. When I let go, my life expands. The whisper of my Higher Power is not sloppy agape, not saccharine love spoon-fed down my throat. It is the dangerous independence of the Spirit, quietly reminding me that my freedom is not in defiance for its own sake—it is in refusing to let panic dictate my steps.

Every area I declare “too important” to God—my finances, my self-image, my need to dominate—is where my slavery is exposed. To grip those areas as mine alone is to collapse into Social Containment, locked in fearful isolation.

But to release them—to put even these battlegrounds in God’s hands—is to discover Resurrection. Not the counterfeit martyrdom of performance, but the blood-bound strength of a warrior who knows when to unclench the fist. What I give to God, I do not lose. I weaponize it. I wield it transfigured.

My inner core declares: I am dangerously free. I will not be enslaved by enforced stupidity, nor by the tyranny of my own fear. Step Three humbles that fire into something survivable, sustainable, connected. My will and God’s will are not parallel lines—they are two blades of the same sword, forged in surrender, carried in independence.

And so I live this paradox daily:

• Not martyr, not rebel without cause.
• Not puppet, not godling.
• Simply a man who has learned that the true defiance is not in clenching, but in trusting.

This is the marrow of Step Three for Me: to surrender is to fight smarter, to align with Power rather than exhaust myself resisting it.

From Courage to Change of Sep 08:

Is there anything that stands in the way of my trusting in a Higher Power? What obstacles block me from turning over my will and my life to God? In my case, the answer is obvious: I want guarantees. I hold out, thinking that I’ll come up with a new solution to my problems even though I’ve tried and failed, again and again. The risk of faith seems so great. If I turn a situation over, I won’t be in control. I can’t be sure I’ll get my way.

Yet I want recovery. If I continue to do what I have always done, I will continue to get what I have always gotten. I want the benefits that this spiritual program has to offer. Therefore, I must take the risk and let go and let God.

Maybe faith will bring me the results I seek, maybe not. Although there are no guarantees, the benefits of building a strong relationship with a Higher Power can help me to grow confident, strong, and capable of coping with whatever comes to pass long after this particular crisis has been resolved.

Today’s Reminder

Today I will make a contribution to my spiritual development. I will try to identify the obstacles that block my faith.

“Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, but believe that thou mayest understand.” – Aurelius Augustinus

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NOTE: Aurelius Augustinus — better known in English as Saint Augustine of Hippo — was a Christian theologian, philosopher, and bishop who lived from 354 to 430 CE.

He’s one of the most influential figures in Western Christianity and philosophy, often considered a bridge between the ancient Roman world and the emerging medieval Christian thought.

Key points about him:

Death: Died in 430 CE during the siege of Hippo by the Vandals.

Early Life: Born in Thagaste (present-day Souk Ahras, Algeria), in Roman North Africa. His mother, Monica, was a devout Christian; his father, Patricius, was a pagan.

Youth & Conversion: Augustine lived a restless and hedonistic youth, famously describing his early desires and moral struggles in his Confessions. He followed the Manichaean religion for a time, then explored Neoplatonism before converting to Christianity at age 31 under the influence of Saint Ambrose of Milan.

Bishop of Hippo: He became the bishop of Hippo Regius (modern Annaba, Algeria) and served for over 30 years.

Major Works:

Confessions — a spiritual autobiography and philosophical meditation.

The City of God — a monumental defense of Christianity against pagan critics after the sack of Rome in 410.

On Christian Doctrine — guidelines for interpreting Scripture.

Theology: His writings deeply shaped Western ideas on original sin, divine grace, predestination, and the relationship between the Church and the state.

When I look at the question, What’s standing in the way of my trusting God?—my instinct is to look outward. I think of circumstances, other people, unanswered prayers. But when I slow down, I usually find the real obstacle staring back at me in the mirror.

For me, it’s not that I can’t believe in a Higher Power—it’s that I still want a contract instead of a relationship. I want terms and conditions that guarantee comfort, safety, and a life arranged according to my preferences. I want to sign on with God only if He signs off on my blueprint. That’s not faith. That’s control disguised as piety.

I’ve learned that this program asks me to risk something I’ve held tightly for a long time—my illusion of control. If I wait until I feel safe to take the risk, I will never take it. I can either keep doing what hasn’t worked and get the same results, or I can step into the discomfort of surrender and see what’s on the other side.

When I do let go, I’m often surprised to find that faith doesn’t always give me the outcome I was after—it gives me something sturdier. It builds my capacity to endure, to adapt, and sometimes to even welcome the unexpected. I find myself equipped not just for the crisis of today, but for the ones I can’t yet see.

I will name the obstacles between me and faith—fear, pride, self-reliance that’s really self-protection. And I will make a small, conscious choice to loosen my grip, even if it’s just for a moment. That moment might be all God needs to slip something new into my hands.

From Courage to Change of Aug 02:

My overwhelming desire for control becomes glaringly obvious when I am tempted to control my group. I decide that I know what is best for all of us, or that I am the only one who truly understands the Traditions, or that I know what newcomers need to hear and I alone must make sure they hear it. I may view this as a finely-developed sense of responsibility, but my attitudes and actions still amount to a form of dominance.

The Second Tradition says, “For our group purpose there is but one authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” We strive to conduct our meetings as a fellowship of equals and to practice rotation of leadership. No single member has the right to take charge.

When I insist upon having my way, I am tampering with the spiritual nature of Al-Anon as a whole. Just as my Higher Power guides me in my daily life, a Power greater than myself is working within my group through the voices of its members.

Today’s Reminder

I am only one voice in a thriving worldwide fellowship. When in doubt, I will defer to the wisdom of the group conscience.

“Any attempt to manage or direct is likely to have disastrous consequences for group harmony.” ~ Alcoholism, the Family Disease

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In recovery, I often confront the illusion of control—the feeling that I must be the one to steer the ship, to manage the course of others, and to mold situations to fit my vision of how things should unfold. This impulse, disguised as responsibility, betrays my underlying need for dominance. It’s a need rooted in fear, a fear that if I do not assert my way, things will fall apart, that others will falter in ways I cannot control.

The Second Tradition helps me to recognize that the true power within our fellowship is not rooted in one individual’s will but in the collective guidance of a Higher Power, expressed through the voices and experiences of all those present. The Tradition gently reminds me that we are all equals here, each a thread in the fabric of a larger tapestry, woven together by a shared purpose: healing and growth.

The group conscience is the true guide here, and in my moments of doubt or uncertainty, it is the wisdom of the collective that I must trust. My voice is one among many, and when I am tempted to push others into my vision of the best route, I risk overshadowing the very essence of fellowship. In recovery, I am reminded that my role is not to lead alone but to serve in connection, not to manage but to listen, to surrender my need for control and allow the group’s collective wisdom to shape the path forward.

And so, when I am tempted to take charge, I pause. I breathe. I listen. And I defer to the wisdom of the group, trusting that in doing so, I align myself with the spiritual force that guides our shared journey.