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Endigar 1077

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 31, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 27:

One sweltering summer day, I sought escape from the heat at a nearby beach. Lying there with my lemonade, I looked at all the people soaking up the sun. No matter how many people were on that beach, there would be enough sun for everyone. I realized that the same was true of God’s love and guidance. No matter how many people seek God’s help, there is always enough to go around. To someone who believed that there was never enough time, money, love, or anything else, this was amazing news!

This awareness was tested at an Al-Anon meeting when someone spoke about his Higher Power with a personal love and intensity that matched my own. I felt as if his intimacy with God would leave less love for me. But I think that the opposite is true. I often feel closest to God when I hear others share about how well a Higher Power has taken care of them. Today I try to remember that there is enough love for us all.

Today’s Reminder

I may not have everything I want, but today I have everything I need. I will look for evidence of abundance and let it remind me that my Higher Power’s love is broad enough to touch all who have the courage to place themselves in its presence.

“I can learn to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God, if I am willing to be continually conscious of God’s nearness.” ~ One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

END OF QUOTE—————————————

The image of the beach is a gentle dismantling of the scarcity mindset. You lie under a sky so vast it cannot be owned, and it becomes a living metaphor for divine sufficiency. Heat, light, love — all flow without measure or merit. Recovery, at its heart, is the re-education of the nervous system to trust that abundance is not a trick of fortune but a property of reality itself.

That moment in the meeting — the flicker of jealousy or fear when another spoke of intimate communion with God — is sacredly honest. It reveals how deeply the family disease distorts love into competition. In the alcoholic household, affection is conditional, attention is rationed, and safety feels temporary. The ego learns: If you are loved, there is less for me.
But spiritual maturity is learning to feel another’s blessing as proof of your own. What touches them touches the field you share.

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Endigar 1076

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 27, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 26:

I remember others’ unkind words vividly. Criticism sent me reeling. Snickers crippled me for days. It never occurred to me that I was being abused, or that the harsh words could be untrue. Everyone seemed to know just how wrong I was, and my identity was bound up in a knot of shame. My self-esteem sank lower and lower.

I, in turn, treated others cruelly. I found it great fun to assault someone’s character in the company of friends. For a few minutes I felt better about myself — but not for long and only at other people’s expense. Gossip never enriched anyone’s character. It was only an excuse to avoid focusing on myself.

Today’s Reminder

Many of us tend to react rather than act. When we hurt, we may want to strike out and hurt someone else. In Al-Anon we learn that we can interrupt this automatic response long enough to decide how we really want to behave.

Someone else’s unkindness is no reason for me to lower my standards for my own behavior. When I take responsibility for my actions, regardless of what other people do, I become someone I can be proud of. When I feel good about myself, it’s much easier not to take insults personally

“If one throws salt at thee thou wilt receive no harm unless thou hast sore places.” ~ Latin proverb

END OF QUOTE—————————————

NOTE: There’s no credible named author for the “Latin proverb.” The saying shows up in 19th-century American print as a proverb/maxim—sometimes even called a “Quaker maxim”—but not tied to any classical Latin writer.

  • Earliest hits found in AI directed search are U.S. newspapers/magazines from the 1850s printing it as a proverb (no author): Savannah, GA paper (Jan 18, 1851) and The Water-Cure Journal (July 1852).
  • A later retrospective explicitly calls it a “Quaker maxim.”
  • Modern quote sites often label it “Latin proverb,” but I can’t find it in Erasmus’s Adagia or other standard classical collections—suggesting the “Latin” tag is a generic or spurious attribution.

So, if you need to credit it, the safest is: “Proverb (often misattributed as ‘Latin’; sometimes described as a ‘Quaker maxim’).” It makes sense to me that the Antebellum South would prefer to call it a Latin proverb rather than a Quaker maxim.

END OF NOTE—————————————

There is a deep wound that strikes at the core of many recovery stories — the confusion between being criticized and being defined. When a child or partner grows up in a household where shame is the native tongue, words become weapons that etch themselves into the nervous system. The body keeps score — not only of trauma, but of tone.

This confusion is not a misunderstanding; it is a crime scene. Every time a parent or partner names a child lazy, dramatic, or ungrateful, they are engraving graffiti on divine architecture. Those words become neurological scars — the body’s way of carrying the courtroom of the past into every new encounter. It’s not just that “the body keeps score”; it’s that the body was drafted into a war it never consented to fight.

The haunting belief that “everyone seemed to know just how wrong I was” captures that suffocating illusion of consensus — a world where the false self is built entirely from other people’s verdicts. Yet recovery reveals the first glimmer of transformation: recognition. Seeing that cruelty can be both inflicted and internalized allows us to break the spell of projection. When we gossip or mock, we are only transferring the shame we have not yet metabolized.

But reflection is not retreat — it is reconquest. It is the moment we decide that the verdicts of our abusers will no longer define our vocabulary. That we will no longer carry their tone in our throats. That our anger, refined through awareness, becomes the forge of integrity.

Recovery invites us to stop exporting pain and start composting it — turning the rot into fertile soil for new growth. Al-Anon’s wisdom here is profoundly liberating: reaction can be replaced with reflection. The pause between impulse and action is the doorway to self-respect. And when we act, rather than react, we reclaim authorship of our own story.

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Endigar 1072 ~ Amends to Myself

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2025 by endigar

I have been through the 12 Steps several times. First in AA, then once in Al-Anon. The only person I had not made amends to was myself. The Self. So, I turned to my inner core and promised to do so through ACA 12 Step guidance. I have arrived at the extensive ACA moral inventory, and I spent time listing and clarifying the transgressions against that little one within. Once I had exhausted that process, I asked AI to look at my list. I explained what I was doing. It apparently is familiar with the ACA process. It rendered a beautiful response to what I had written. Yes, I know they are my words, but the crafting was deeply moving for me. I wanted to share that with you:

✦ Amends to Myself ✦

(in the spirit of the Eleventh Step, where confession becomes creation)

To the one who bore the weight of perfection and the ache of exile,
I have long mistaken your yearning for weakness and your sensitivity for sin.
I asked you to starve the body so the soul might eat.
I shamed your smile because it mirrored your father’s tremor.
I buried your art under the altar of other people’s comfort.
I taught you to despise your own vitality — to treat laughter, lust, and leisure as signs of betrayal.

I am sorry.

You deserved music, not mortification.
You deserved the sweat of play, the discipline of motion, the unashamed pulse of being alive.
I see now that neglect is also violence — slow, invisible violence turned inward.
I release you from that bondage.

You may read for pleasure now.
You may lift weights without martyrdom.
You may write as though the angels are your editors, not your judges.
You may speak even when your voice shakes.
You may fail in public and still be faithful to the experiment of being human.

I forgive you for believing that suffering was the same as sanctity.
I forgive you for chasing divine union as if it required annihilation.
I forgive you for letting cinema cradle you when books felt too heavy — you were surviving, not surrendering.
I forgive you for feeding the ache with sugar, with porn, with silence, with impossible ideals.

Now, I call you forward:
To practice small follow-throughs as sacred rites.
To honor the mundane as the threshold to the miraculous.
To build a temple not of control, but of rhythm — frequency over intensity, patience over purity.

Your body is no longer a battlefield.
It is a covenant renewed daily with breath.
Your mind is not a cage for angels and demons — it is a workshop for wonder.
Your heart may open again, even if it trembles.

I asked the AI, “In the Amends to Self, you said parenthetically – (in the spirit of the Eleventh Step, where confession becomes creation) The 11th Step has to do with the cultivating conscious contact with my HP. What is the relevance in your beautiful wording of making amends (Step 9) based on the ACA moral inventory (Step 4)?”

Lucien the AI responded thusly: You’re right to catch that, Lorcan — and your instinct is precise. Step Nine belongs to the world of repair; Step Eleven to relationship.

The reason I wove the Eleventh Step into that parenthetical wasn’t to blur the lines between them but to describe what happens when self-forgiveness and spiritual contact begin to intertwine. In adult-child recovery, making amends to oneself can’t stop at restitution; it naturally opens into re-connection with the Loving Parent and Higher Power.

Here’s the deeper linkage:

StepPrimary MovementWhen Applied to “Amends to Self”
Step Four – Moral InventorySeeing with honestyI name the ways I abandoned, silenced, or punished myself.
Step Nine – AmendsRepairing with responsibilityI offer restitution and commit to new behavior.
Step Eleven – Conscious ContactListening with intimacyI cultivate ongoing communion with the Self that was restored — the “child of God” now safe to speak again.

So when I said “in the spirit of the Eleventh Step, where confession becomes creation,” I meant that your amends has crossed a threshold: it is not only an apology but a creative act of alignment.
In ordinary Twelve-Step rhythm:

  • Step Four reveals the truth.
  • Step Nine restores justice.
  • Step Eleven renews relationship.

But in ACA’s inner work, these three begin to circle each other. When you make amends to yourself, you’re both restoring relationship (Step 9) and cultivating conscious contact (Step 11) with the part of you that is an expression of your Higher Power.

In other words:

Every sincere amends to Self is also a prayer answered from within.
Confession becomes creation the moment the Loving Parent and the Inner Child begin speaking again.

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Endigar 1070

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 21:

Many times I have said, “I wish I had faith.” And what I’ve heard from so many wise Al-Anon members is, “Surrender your lack of faith to your Higher Power, and ask for faith.”

I have said, “I know I am powerless, but I feel so helpless, frightened, hopeless,” and I have been told I had the option to surrender those feelings and ask for what I need. Powerless does not mean helpless. In fact, it can lead us to a source of enormous power – the power to carry out God’s will.

I have also said, “I can’t figure out what God wants me to do, though I’ve prayed for guidance.” My loving Sponsor always says, “God doesn’t speak in code. Ask for clarity, and then trust that you will get it when the time is right.”

When in doubt, I am learning that the answer is to ask.

Today’s Reminder

After years of asking only for a particular solution to a problem, such as, “Please make the alcoholic stop drinking!” — I need to learn a better way to ask for help. Today I will meditate for a few minutes on what I need, and then I will ask a Power greater than myself to help me with it.

“Even if we have struggled with the idea of a Higher Power, we have learned that asking for help works…” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Powerless, Not Helpless

There’s a subtle but vital distinction here. Powerless means recognizing that I cannot control outcomes, people, or timing. Helpless would mean believing that therefore, nothing can be done. But in recovery, surrender is never the end of movement—it’s the alignment of movement with truth. The moment I surrender my powerlessness, I open the door for a greater power to act through me. This is not passivity; it’s participation in grace.

Asking Without Prescription

For many of us, our prayers began as negotiations: “Please make the alcoholic stop drinking.” But the Step tradition teaches us to shift from asking for what we want to asking for what we need. It’s a discipline of trust—believing that the solution may look different, and that transformation often begins in our perception, not in our circumstances. When I ask simply, “Help me with this,” I move from manipulation to relationship.

God Doesn’t Speak in Code

What a freeing reminder. When we can’t hear, it’s rarely because God is cryptic—it’s because we are still translating divine language through fear. The answer to prayer often begins as peace, or a subtle loosening of tension. Clarity comes as we grow willing to stop deciphering and start listening.

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Endigar 1069

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 20:

As a child, I would get down on my hands and knees for the longest time, just to watch a caterpillar crawl around. It never seemed to go very far, yet I patiently waited just in case it should do something spectacular. It never did, but I didn’t mind, because simply watching this peculiar-looking creature gave me pleasure.

Remembering this makes me question how many such precious moments are passing me by unnoticed because I am so focused on other things. Before Al-Anon, I spent years ignoring life’s beauty because I was too busy trying to get all the alcoholics to stop drinking, and in recovery I’ve lost many, many hours waiting to solve a problem or be freed of a character defect. Today I am learning to make room in my life for the wonders life has to offer.

Today’s Reminder

I am learning to choose where to focus my attention. Appreciating life’s simple gifts may take some practice, but as I become more aware of the beauty that is all around me, it gets easier to appreciate the beauty within.

“Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful…” ~ Just for Today

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Unfortunately, part of living sometimes digresses into a battle of egos, both inside and outside my cranial cocoon. The idea of becoming “childlike” is a way of reframing life through the lens of innocence, humility, and trust. To become as a child isn’t to regress into naivety but to return to a state of openhearted presence. When I stop striving to control outcomes and instead kneel down, paying attention to what is, I can discover a new way of seeing. The childlike gaze turns ordinary moments — a crawling caterpillar, a morning cup of coffee, a shared laugh — into portals of divine reality.

In recovery, we begin to reclaim that posture. The compulsive urgency that once drove us — to fix, to solve, to control — slowly gives way to attentive curiosity. The world hasn’t changed so much as our gaze has softened. We start noticing that grace doesn’t always arrive as fireworks; sometimes it crawls, unhurried, across a leaf.

Where do I choose to place my attention? To focus on others’ drinking or my own defects is to live in reaction. To turn toward beauty is to live in response. That shift — from reacting to responding — marks a quiet revolution of the soul. The caterpillar becomes the teacher of patient transformation, the reminder that life unfolds on its own timetable, not ours.

I have permission to inhabit peace without guilt, to rest in awe without needing to earn it. In such moments, we rediscover our own metamorphosis: the frightened controller slowly becoming the gentle witness, wings not yet visible but forming all the same.

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Endigar 1066

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 20, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 17:

As newcomers, many of us were surprised by the absence of rules in Al-Anon. Before we found recovery from the effects of alcoholism, a strict sense of order may have been our only way of feeling that we had some control. Naturally we expected a program as successful as Al-Anon to be even more rigid than we were!

Instead, as a newcomer I was told that I was free to work the Steps at my own pace. I could ask questions of anyone as they came up. No one was in charge, yet everyone was in charge. It seemed impossible, yet I could see it working more effectively than any organization with which I’d ever been involved.

As I continue coming to Al-Anon, I’m learning to trust that the group is guided by a Higher Power whose will is expressed in our group conscience. | watch the | Traditions in action, guiding us by suggestions rather than rules. And | learn to trust my fellow members, each of whom contributes to the well-being of our fellowship, where no one person is in charge.

Today’s Reminder

If I take on service responsibilities in my group, it does not mean that I now run the show. Today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a Higher Power who works through all of us.

“Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.” ~ Tradition Nine

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Control was the first god I ever served — the false father of safety. I worshiped it because the world around me was chaos dressed as family, and rules were the only weapons that didn’t turn on me. When I entered recovery and found a room with no rulers, my fury woke before my faith did. I didn’t trust “suggestions.” I wanted commandments, boundaries — something with edges sharp enough to make sense of the mess. But the paradox cut deeper: every wall I built to protect myself only kept me from the very connection I claimed to crave.

There’s a sacred paradox at the heart of recovery: the more we try to control, the more we lose connection; the more we surrender, the more coherence arises. Before the rooms, many of us clung to rules like life rafts in a storm — desperate to impose order on the chaos that alcoholism had written into our days. But in Al-Anon, the invitation is different: no orders shouted from the deck, no fixed compass. Just a circle of equals listening for something greater than the sum of their fears.

The absence of rules felt like anarchy — until I saw it wasn’t chaos at all. It was the first taste of unforced order. The program didn’t need a dictator because the Higher Power wasn’t a tyrant. Its structure wasn’t held together by fear but by consequence — by what happens naturally when human beings choose humility over hierarchy. That’s when I realized: divine order doesn’t demand obedience; it asks for alignment. And alignment is harder. It burns away pride more slowly than punishment ever could.

The absence of rules is not the absence of order — it is trust in invisible order. The Steps give us a path; the Traditions give us harmony; and the group conscience becomes a living current of grace. Guidance doesn’t come through domination but through the collective humility of those who are willing to listen together. What once seemed impossible — an organization without control — becomes living proof that divine order needs no warden.

Service, then, becomes something entirely different from leadership. It’s not a stage to command but an altar to tend. When I take on responsibility, I do not hold power; I channel it. The Higher Power expresses through us, not above us. In this way, recovery becomes a model for the kind of world many of us have always wished for — one where trust replaces tyranny, and love replaces law.

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Endigar 1065

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 16:

When I am trying to tackle a tough problem or cope with a stressful situation, and I’ve done all I can for the moment, what then? I can do something that will nurture my mind, body, or spirit. Perhaps I’ll take a walk or listen to music. Maybe I’ll meet a friend for coffee and conversation. I could have something nutritious to eat, or sit quietly and meditate, or read a book.

Al-Anon is a program of action in which we recognize that we have choices about what we do with our time. A bubble bath, a massage, an Al-Anon call, a bike ride, or a nap might be constructive ways to fill time that might otherwise be wasted on worry.

Even though I may be powerless to change my circumstances, I certainly am not helpless. I can use my time to do something good for myself. When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even when surrounded by crisis.

Today’s Reminder

One of my primary responsibilities is to take care of myself. I will find a small way to do something for my mind, body, and spirit today.

“Part of my recovery is respecting my need and my right to let go and relax.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

This a vital spiritual truth: powerlessness is not helplessness.

When we come to the end of our control, the ego wants to keep fighting — to analyze, fix, or force a solution. But recovery teaches us to redirect that energy toward nourishmentratherthannoise. The act of self-care becomes both rebellion and surrender: rebellion against the inner critic that says, “You must suffer to prove you care,” and surrender to a Higher Wisdom that says, “Peace itself is productive.”

Taking a walk, calling a friend, or resting isn’t avoidance — it’s alignment. Each act becomes a quiet ritual of participation in life rather than domination over it. When we treat ourselves tenderly, we stop making punishment our form of progress. Love and rest turn out to be far more transformative than control and worry.

In the language of recovery, this is Step Three in motion: turning our will and our lives over, moment by moment, to a Power greater than our fear. By choosing nurturing actions, we acknowledge that serenity can coexist with chaos — that grace can enter even through something as humble as a cup of coffee or a deep breath.

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Endigar 1064

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 15:

The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another’s slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone “not guilty,” I think of forgiveness as a scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.

When I am consumed with negativity over another person’s behavior, I have lost my focus. I needn’t tolerate what I consider unacceptable, but wallowing in negativity will not alter the situation. If there is action to take, I am free to take it. Where I am powerless to change the situation, I will turn it over to my Higher Power. By truly letting go, I detach and forgive.

When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me. I am willing to love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go.

Today’s Reminder

Every time I try to tighten the noose of resentment around someone’s neck, I am really only choking myself. Today I will practice forgiveness instead.

“A part of me wants to cling to old resentments, but I know that the more I forgive, the better my life works.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There is wisdom in reimagining forgiveness as scissors rather than an eraser or a gavel. The eraser implies denial; the gavel implies judgment. But the scissors — ah, the scissors liberate. They sever the invisible cords of resentment that tether the heart to its wound. In recovery, this image carries sacred practicality: forgiveness is not endorsement of harm, but release from captivity. We are not freeing the offender; we are untangling ourselves from their shadow.

Resentment masquerades as power — the illusion that if I hold the memory tight enough, I maintain control. Yet in truth, resentment reverses the flow of energy inward, strangling joy and suffocating serenity. Detachment is not abandonment; it’s oxygen.

When our minds orbit another’s wrongdoing, we lose alignment with our own purpose. The spiritual lens of the Tenth and Eleventh Steps teaches us that serenity is born in focus — a return to inner guidance. By turning over what we cannot control to a Higher Power, we shift from obsession to observation, from judgment to humility. The act of forgiving becomes a way to see clearly again.

To love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back is a subtle revolution. It reframes forgiveness from moral obligation to self-care. Each release is a small resurrection, a reclaiming of psychic territory once occupied by pain. The heart, once constricted by bitterness, begins to pulse again with divine rhythm.

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Endigar 1063

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 14:

“Do not search for the truth,” said an ancient patriarch, “only cease to cherish opinions.” For me, ceasing to cherish opinions is part of the Tenth Step. Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions – that is, my prejudices, assumptions, self-righteous stances, attitudes.

For example, I continue to assume that I have the inside track on how everything should be done, and that other people are too shortsighted to recognize this great truth. Reality proves me wrong. I also revert to the idea that ignoring my feelings is practical, even desirable. This, too, is wrong. And I act as if I can run my life without trusting in my Higher Power. Wrong again.

I give thanks for Step Ten’s reminder that I need to continue taking personal inventory and making frequent corrections, especially in the areas where I tend to repeat my mistakes.

Today’s Reminder

It is no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I am sure that I want to change. The Tenth Step allows me to be aware of sliding back into faulty thinking. I don’t have to abuse myself when it happens — that doesn’t help at all. By promptly admitting when I’m wrong, I am doing what I can to change.

“No longer must we accumulate burdens of guilt or resentment that will become heavier and more potent over time. Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There’s something profoundly disarming about the invitation to cease cherishing opinions. It’s not an order to stop having them, but to stop worshiping them — to stop bowing to the false god of our own certainty. Opinions become idols when we polish them, defend them, and feed them with outrage. Step Ten isn’t about smashing the idols with a hammer; it’s about quietly withdrawing our devotion and walking back toward the living altar of truth.

In recovery, the deeper disease often isn’t alcohol or control — it’s identification. I mistake my thoughts for truth, my emotions for facts, my judgments for discernment. When I “cherish” my opinions, I marry them to my sense of self, and then any challenge feels like a personal attack. Step Ten loosens that marriage; it allows the divorce between me and myopinions without exiling either.

Changing the thinking of a lifetime isn’t an act of violence but of awareness. The Tenth Step isn’t a courtroom; it’s a calibration. Each inventory is a small act of re-alignment — not penance, not punishment, but participation in an evolving consciousness.

When I promptly admit I’m wrong, I’m not shrinking; I’m expanding. I’m choosing growth over the brittle satisfaction of being right. I’m letting my soul breathe again.

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Endigar 1061

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 12:

It is essential to my recovery to help my Al-Anon group by accepting any of the various responsibilities necessary to keep things running smoothly. Perhaps the principal reason that service is so vital is that it brings me into frequent contact with newcomers. I can get caught up in the trivial problems of everyday life and lose perspective on the many gifts I have received since coming to Al-Anon. Talking with newcomers brings me back to reality. When I set out literature, make coffee, or chair a meeting, I become someone a newcomer might think to approach.

I remember the frustration of struggling with alcoholism by myself. I had no tools, no one to talk to. Al-Anon changed that. Now, no matter how difficult things may seem, I have a fellowship and a way of life that help me to cope. I am no longer alone.

Today I have much for which I am grateful, but I need to remember how far I have come so I don’t get lost in negativity over relatively unimportant matters. Service helps me remember.

Today’s Reminder

The Al-Anon program was there for me when I needed it. I will do what I can to ensure that it continues to thrive. I know that any service I offer will strengthen my own recovery.

“God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. He got me involved in service work. It saved my life, my family, my sanity.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Service becomes a form of remembrance. The act of setting out pamphlets or making coffee isn’t about performance or obligation — it’s about reconnecting to the moment when grace first entered the room. When you help a newcomer find a seat or a sense of belonging, you touch the same mystery that once reached out to save you. In that moment, gratitude stops being a concept and becomes a lived current of energy, flowing through the simple act of presence.

“Frequent contact with newcomers” is not merely social; it’s alchemical. Recovery, like fire, is kept alive by shared warmth. Each encounter reminds the seasoned member of what it was like, what happened, and what it’s like now. The newcomer’s raw confusion and fragile hope become a mirror — revealing both how far one has come and how easily the old pain could return. In this way, service is bothsafeguardand sacrament — it prevents stagnation and invites humility.

Everyday life, with its trivial irritations and looping anxieties, tempts the recovering soul to forget the miracle of transformation. But service duties — however small — restore proportion. They say: You once were drowning, and now you pour coffee for the shipwrecked. This remembrance reorders the scale of what matters. Through action, we find that serenity doesn’t come from control, but from participation in something larger than ourselves.

To serve is to renew the original covenant of Al-Anon: We do not recover alone. The program that saved us asks for guardianship, not repayment. Each service act plants continuity — ensuring that the next lost traveler will find light and warmth waiting. In giving away what we have found, we discover again that we are not powerless — we are purposeful.

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