Archive for Courage to Change

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Endigar 1055

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 6:

Although the crisis that brought us to Al-Anon may be past, there is always something new to learn, even after years of recovery. We change. Opportunities for spiritual growth, as well as new character defects, pop up like weeds in a newly-mown lawn, and we find ourselves turning to the Steps for a fresh look.

I experienced this one day when I noticed that I had begun to be angry much of the time. I thought that other people and situations were to blame, but I decided to concentrate on my own part of the picture. I took a written inventory of my memories, feelings, and behavior whenever I lost my serenity, and then read it aloud to someone I trust. As I read, the common thread — the exact nature of my wrongs — jumped out at me. My problem was my pride and arrogance, not my situation. The need to be right was robbing me of my serenity in all kinds of situations.

No matter how long I work the Al-Anon program, I will never cease finding new ways to apply it to my life. That is a blessing, for it means that my life will continue to get better.

Today’s Reminder

There is something new for me to learn today. I will open my mind and my heart to the lessons my Higher Power brings me.
“The important thing is not to stop questioning.” ~ Albert Einstein

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Like a gentle but bracing wind—the kind that wakes the soul without apology. It reminds us that recovery isn’t a one-time rescue but a living cycle of awareness, humility, and rediscovery. The “crisis” that brought us here may have passed, but the work of remaining teachable never ends. Every new layer of living—aging, loving, losing, forgiving—stirs up fresh sediment in the soul.

Anger is not condemned but examined. It becomes a mirror revealing the quiet arrogance that insists the world must adjust to our script. Pride, when disguised as principle, steals serenity one argument at a time. The inventory process here—writing, reading aloud, discovering the thread—is the crucible where humility is reforged. It is not shame that heals us, but truth spoken in trust.

To keep turning toward the Steps is to keep tending the soil of the self. We learn that serenity is not a permanent achievement—it’s a living ecosystem, constantly asking to be pruned, watered, and renewed.

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Endigar 1054

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 5:

Sometimes I become so bogged down with dissatisfaction that I can’t see where I am or where I’m going. When I take time to “Think,” I realize that negativity keeps my life at a standstill. Al-Anon has helped me discover that, while it’s good to acknowledge whatever I feel, I have a choice about where to focus my attention. I’m challenged to find positive qualities in myself, my circumstances, and other human beings. As I attend meetings, list the things I am grateful for, and talk with other Al-Anon members, these attributes become apparent — if I’m willing to see them.

I believe I have a beautiful spirit that has been created for some purpose. The people and situations I encounter each day also have beauty and purpose. I can begin to look for the positive in everything I do and see. The perspective I’ve gained by doing so has shown me that some of the most difficult times in my life have produced the most wonderful changes.

Today’s Reminder

It may be difficult to break a long-established pattern of depression, doom-sayings, and complaining, but it’s worth the effort. I’ll replace a negative attitude with a positive one today.

“Sometimes I go about pitying myself. And all the while I am being carried across the sky. By beautiful clouds.” ~ Ojibway Indian saying

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There are moments when dissatisfaction thickens around me like fog—when my mind can only find what’s missing, what’s wrong, what’s unfair. In that haze, I lose sight of where I stand and where I’m going. Al-Anon reminds me that this fog is not truth; it is simply focus. My eyes have turned toward lack. My thoughts have pitched their tents in complaint. When I shift that gaze, I begin to see movement again.

Acknowledging pain is not the same as worshipping it. I can let my feelings rise and fall like waves, but I do not have to drown in them. The discipline of “Think” teaches me to pause before I descend into the whirlpool—to choose what I will amplify. Gratitude, even when whispered, begins to pierce through the fog.

Meetings help me remember that I am not uniquely cursed; I am part of a fellowship of souls learning to steer our minds toward light. Gratitude lists, honest conversations, the quiet presence of others walking the same road—these become the small lanterns that line my path.

Over time, I’ve begun to glimpse something holy in this practice: I do not have to create beauty; I have to notice it. My spirit was already fashioned with purpose. Even my hardships have been tutors in disguise, forcing growth I would never have chosen, revealing a tenderness I didn’t know I had.

Today, I can look at my life and say:
“I will think toward light.”
I can trust that the most difficult seasons—those that once looked like ruin—were actually turning the soil for better roots.

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Endigar 1053

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 4:

I’ve heard it said that in Al-Anon we try to concentrate on our similarities rather than our differences. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have differences or that we shouldn’t acknowledge these differences. What it does suggest is that, by remembering why we are all here, we need never feel alone.

Like so many others, I came to Al-Anon feeling that my problems set me apart from everyone else. As time passed, I realized that it was my own fear and shame, and not the embarrassing details of my problems, that kept me at a distance. I learned that when I reached beyond these details, I could clasp the hands of others affected by alcoholism and thus find help.

We are all as unique as our fingerprints, but as our fingers join in the closing prayer, each of us is part of a circle of hope that is greater than any of our individual differences.

Today’s Reminder

Although we have our unique qualities, all hearts beat the same under the skin. Your heart reaches out to mine as you share your story and your faith. I know that the part of myself which I share with you is taken to your heart. Today I will cherish our collective strength.

“For the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body.” ~ The Bible

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There is a reality that speaks to me: the subtle but radical shift from isolation born of shame to connection born of shared purpose. When I first came into the rooms, my instinct was to catalog my differences — to treat my pain like a fingerprint that no one else could decipher. But that impulse, though it felt self-protective, was also self-imprisoning. It was not my particular circumstances but my fear and shame that kept me separate.

In 12 Step Recovery, the invitation is not to erase individuality but to reframe it. I do not have to abandon my story or my uniqueness. Instead, I am asked to remember why we are all here: to find a path toward serenity in the midst of mine or someone else’s drinking, and to walk that path together. When I look beyond the details of my situation, I discover an invisible thread tying my heart to others’ hearts. That thread is stronger than the storylines that once isolated me.

I can remember being resistant to the religious nature of the prayers used in recovery. But then I saw that without the burden of dogma, it became an exercise in connection. Every hand retains its own lines and swirls, but together they make a circle. The circle does not cancel difference; it holds it, transforming it into a shared strength. That is the paradox of recovery: when I risk reaching beyond my shame, I discover that what I thought made me untouchable is the very place where connection begins.

Now I can cherish our collective strength without losing myself. I can honor the uniqueness of my fingerprint and still place my hand in the circle, knowing that under the skin our hearts beat the same. In that shared rhythm, I am never alone.

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Endigar 1052

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 3:

Clearly, I didn’t know what compassion was, but I knew what it was not. Compassion was not seeking revenge, holding a grudge, calling names, or screaming and throwing things in anger. Yet that was how I frequently behaved toward this person I claimed to love. For me, the beginning of learning compassion was to eliminate such behavior.

While I still have a hard time defining compassion, I think it starts with the recognition that I am dealing with a sick person who sometimes exhibits symptoms of a disease. I don’t have to take it personally when these symptoms, such as verbal abuse, appear, nor do I have the right to punish anyone for being sick.

I am a worthwhile human being. I don’t have to sit and take abuse. But I have no right to dish it out, either.

Today’s Reminder

I will spend more time with myself in this lifetime than with anyone else. Let me learn to be the kind of person I would like to have as a friend.

“He who would have beautiful roses in his garden must have beautiful roses in his heart.” ~ S.R. Hole

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Compassion was once a slippery word, an idol others claimed to know. I did not. Codependence had buried that experience beneath confusion. What I knew, what I felt in my bones, was only what compassion was not.

It was not rage erupting to scorch every bridge.
It was not grudges gripping cold around my core.
It was not venom spat as names, hurled like stones, each syllable a chain.

That terrain I knew too well. It was familiar. It was desolation.

Growth, for me, is not swinging back. Growth is refusing to feed the cycle of abuse. Restraint is not weakness; it is control of the battlefield. When I refuse to strike back, I do not sanctify them—I sanctify myself.

Compassion is not bestowed. It is cultivated in the dirt of my own choices. It is not miracle. It is muscle. It grows in ordinary decisions: pausing instead of lashing, speaking without venom, walking away without cruelty.

In that refusal, I discover a new dignity — one not granted by family, faith, or foe, but forged in my refusal to be dragged down. I am a worthwhile human being. That worth is not granted by abusers, gods, or patriots. It is not earned by compliance, and it is not erased by rejection. It is mine.

That worth does not demand I sit passively in abuse. Nor does it give me license to mirror cruelty with cruelty. Retaliation is not freedom. It is contagion. My responsibility is sharper: to cultivate the kind of person I would myself choose as companion. This is Intelligent Self-Patriotism.

What does true compassion feel like in the body? It is not collapse. It is not retaliation. It is the tension of standing between. Strong spine, steady breath. I recognize sickness in others, but I do not let their infection excuse my own. Their disease is theirs. My containment is mine.

So I take inventory of my behavior before I dare judge another’s. That is Intelligence: guarding my Story against the poison of hypocrisy. I confess: I am learning compassion slowly, imperfectly, but sincerely — and sincerity, not speed, is what makes it real and lasting.

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Endigar 1051

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 2:

It is essential to my recovery to help my Al-Anon group by accepting any of the various responsibilities necessary to keep things running smoothly. Perhaps the principal reason that service is so vital is that it brings me into frequent contact with newcomers. I can get caught up in the trivial problems of everyday life and lose perspective on the many gifts I have received since coming to Al-Anon. Talking with newcomers brings me back to reality. When I set out literature, make coffee, or chair a meeting, I become someone a newcomer might think to approach.

I remember the frustration of struggling with alcoholism by myself. I had no tools, no one to talk to. Al-Anon changed that. Now, no matter how difficult things may seem, I have a fellowship and a way of life that help me to cope. I am no longer alone.

Today I have much for which I am grateful, but I need to remember how far I have come so I don’t get lost in negativity over relatively unimportant matters. Service helps me remember.

Today’s Reminder

The Al-Anon program was there for me when I needed it. I will do what I can to ensure that it continues to thrive. I know that any service I offer will strengthen my own recovery.

“God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself. He got me involved in service work. It saved my life, my family, my sanity.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Service redraws my inner map — not as decoration, but as survival. Petty grievances lure me into false terrain, a swamp of complaint and wounded righteousness. Service is not kindness. Service is compass. It is the act of cutting through fog to reclaim True North: gratitude honed into defensive weaponry.

The landmarks on this map are not marble idols or patriotic monuments. They are coffee pots, pamphlet stacks, folded chairs — ordinary altars, invisible to the untrained eye. To me, they are boundary stones, proof that I have walked out of chaos and into containment. They keep me from wandering back into the Lostness.

I place newcomers at the center, not myself — not out of sainthood, but survival. Their desperation is no burden of charity; it is my cure for forgetfulness. When I see their eyes, raw with the chaos I once carried, I remember the distance I have traveled. Their need sharpens my memory more than any sermon ever could.

This is not about saving them. It is about protecting me. Their struggle tethers me to the map. Without them, I drift. With them, I remember. That reciprocity is marrow, not politeness. It is the blood-law of Recovery: I keep what I have by giving it away.

Love’s alchemy works best in overlooked places because there, it cannot be stolen. Although my inner core is quiet, small obediences to the external reality redraw the map of my freedom. This alchemy is not divine charity; it is Social Containment: channeling my chaos into rituals too small to fail.

The framework is sharp and simple, but I carve it deeper:

  • Service anchors gratitude.
  • Gratitude strengthens Recovery.
  • Recovery keeps me alive.

This is not philosophy. Not logic. It is lifeline. Blood-line. Service is not sideline — it is survival. To forget this is to court Enforced Stupidity.

I stretch the Tenth Step into service inventory: Am I still approachable? Still willing? Still giving what was once given to me?

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Endigar 1050

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 1, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 1:

Suddenly I am aware of thoughts racing and crashing through my mind at an alarming speed — memories, broken promises, fears about the future, failed expectations of both myself and other people. This is a familiar chaos and one that I can now recognize. It is a signal that my life has, for the time being, become unmanageable.

At such a time, serenity is often just a phone call away. A simple acknowledgment of the chaos immediately diminishes it. I step back, step outside the madness, and all at once it washes away or scatters in all the myriad directions from which it came. The pieces of my chaos return to their proper places, where I can either leave them alone or choose to confront them one at a time.

Today’s Reminder

If problems arise today, I will try to acknowledge them — and then put a little spiritual space between my problems and myself. If I can share about them with another person, I will further diminish their power. Recognizing that my life is unmanageable is the first step toward managing it.

“When we bring things out into the light, they lose their power over us.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

I admit my life becomes unmanageable. Sometimes suddenly, like a storm tearing through my skull. Sometimes subtly, like vines choking the Core. Thoughts collide, memories accuse, fears multiply. The storm pretends it is endless. But I know better: unmanageability is not doom. It is a marker on the map. Recognition itself shifts the ground.

The lesson is plain: chaos thrives in secrecy. When I hoard it, the swirl of fear and regret mutates into false identity. But when I name it — even whisper it to myself — “My life is unmanageable now,” I puncture the illusion of control. That naming is smashing the idol of my own secrecy. Chaos scatters back into fragments. Fragments can be faced. Fragments can be conquered.

Growth does not mean erasing chaos. Growth means social containment: forcing chaos into pieces too small to dominate me. The mystical edge is how quickly the storm collapses once named. Serenity is not manufactured. Serenity is revealed. It waits behind the noise, eclipsed but patient. One phone call. One word of honesty. One pause of breath. These are not trivialities. They are sacraments of a very personal spirituality.

To drag shadow into light is to strip it of false authority. That is the beginning of my negotiation with Truth. I trust that the light is stronger than secrecy. Chaos does not need annihilation in one blow. It needs to be disarmed, piece by piece, until it cannot enforce stupidity upon me.

I risk sharing what I would rather hide because secrecy is slavery. Light dissolves its power. When I bring chaos out, I discover it was never infinite. It scatters, weakens, and yields. Serenity is not absence of storm. Serenity is the deliberate spacing between storm and soul.

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Endigar 1049

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Sep 30:

Just for today I can try out new behavior. I can take the point of view that perhaps I have been given a lifetime to learn something about myself. Maybe life is a series of experiments in which some succeed and some fail — and in which the failures, as well as the successes, point the way to fresh experiments.

Just for today I might try slightly changing some pattern of behavior that repeatedly causes me problems, just to see what happens. For example, if I have a habit of responding with a negative attitude to a particular person or situation — getting out of bed, working, requests for help, authority figures — I can try a different, more positive response. I can think of it as research and learn from whatever happens.

This day is all I have to work with. The past is over, and tomorrow is out of my reach. I will try to remember what a great gift this day can be and make full use of it.

Today’s Reminder

Just for today I will look for ways to enjoy life — stop by a garden, try a new hobby, or call a good friend. I can look for humor. I can savor love. I can explore something new. Maybe just for today, I’ll try standing on my head to see if I like the view.

“Just for today I will find a little time to relax and to realize what life is and can be; time to think about God and get a better perspective on myself.” ~ Alcoholism, the Family Disease

END OF QUOTE—————————————

What if my life is not a courtroom, chained to judgment, but a laboratory sharpened with fire? Not a place of accusation, but of experiment. I am not on trial — I am the researcher. Shame’s jagged terrain is dissolved into data. Every flaw I uncover — negativity, resistance, avoidance — is not doom. It is raw material. Each error is not a sentence. It is an opportunity to recalibrate the compass that guards My Story.

Change is not spectacle. It is not sweeping gestures for applause. Change is forged in substitutions so small they vanish unless I guard them:

  • The moment I refuse to snap back.
  • The second I rise without rehearsing defeat.
  • The pause before I spit on authority as enemy.

Each act is data. Each data point is Self-Patriotism. Failures do not condemn me. They redirect the inquiry. Success does not crown me. It keeps the lab lights burning. The pattern is relentless: learn, adjust, grow.

Even the smallest changes carry mystical force. To pause in a garden, to hear laughter, to risk a new act — these are not trifles. They are sacraments of Presence. They are not trivial; I know better. They are revelations hidden in the ordinary, liturgies of personal spirituality: God speaking through the simple, through the small.

The framework clarifies: Today is the laboratory. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Today is My field of trial and error, where each action is tested against the the ideal of Self manifestation. What matters is not perfect conclusions. What matters is participation — the act of trying again.

I extend patience to myself as I would to a child soldiering through the first lessons of survival. Each attempt recorded. Each reaction inventoried. Each adjustment forged into Social Containment. I try new responses even when the crowd watches, even when shame orders me to hide.

My life is not a final exam. It is the ongoing experiment. I admit my patterns, even when they are stubborn and ugly. I allow failure to teach me rather than silence me. I am not waiting for judgment. I am manufacturing freedom. Every day grants me permission to fail, permission to learn, permission to grow. This permission is not weakness. It is assertion — granted not by gods of murder, but by the Higher Power who asks only for my willingness.

This is not court. This is laboratory. This is My Story.

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Endigar 1048

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Sep 29:

Some alcoholics become abusive, especially when they drink. How do we handle violence? What can we do about it?

Al-Anon doesn’t give specific advice about relationships — we don’t advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual member to make when he or she feels ready. We do, however, emphasize our personal responsibility to take care of ourselves. If we know that physical danger is a part of our reality, we can admit it and take steps to protect ourselves, at least temporarily. We may arrange for a safe place to go at any hour if we need it. It may be wise to keep money and car keys in easy access. Perhaps we’ll also seek counseling or speak with the police about our options.

No one has the right to physically abuse anyone else under any circumstances. We can inventory our own behavior to see if we are contributing to the problem by provoking someone who is drunk, and we can work to change that behavior. But we do not cause another to be violent or abusive.

Today’s Reminder

I don’t have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence, I must be the one who changes. I’ll start by being honest about what is going on.

“There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity.” ~ In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

The landscape of abuse is jagged, and I map it without mercy. Denial is not a compass. Minimization is not a shield. Violence redraws the map of safety and dignity in blood. The first act of survival is not reforming the abuser — it is declaring: This is happening. I chart not their change, but My exits. My refuge. My choices.

For too long I believed endurance was virtue. For too long I was tricked into thinking provocation was cause. That was the codependent inheritance, the FearContaminate. Recovery breaks that chain. It says: I may change my patterns, I may prepare my stance, but I did not summon another’s violence. Their blows are theirs. My survival is mine.

The pattern shifts: I bury the shame that is not mine. I reclaim the only responsibility that matters — responsibility for myself. Growth is not in taming another’s rage. Growth is in my Social Containment: building walls strong enough to preserve my own life. That is bravery. That is dominance over the chaos.

The program does not demand martyrdom. It does not ask me to solve the relationship in one stroke. It asks that I tell the truth, guard my dignity, and walk away if necessary. This is Walk-Away Spirituality. This is Positive Selfishness forged in fire.

I tell the unvarnished truth—this is violence, and it is not my doing. I claim my right to safety even in the storm. What new life might emerge if I stop carrying the lie that I deserve this? I extend compassion to myself first, not as indulgence but as necessity. My inventory includes not just my flaws but the places where I’ve denied danger. I admit openly what I once hid, trusting that visibility is part of healing. Hope itself becomes an act of creation—a vision of a future where dignity is intact. To face violence is to face a fork in the path: I cannot reform the abuser, but I can choose survival. With honesty, preparation, and faith, I claim the inalienable right to dignity. That act is not abandonment of the program—it is the program lived in its most urgent form.

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Endigar 1047

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 28, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Sep 28:

I received a powerful lesson about letting go one night at an Al-Anon business meeting. It took lots of courage for me to suggest that my home group include the entire Serenity Prayer as part of the meeting opening. Another member suggested that we read the Traditions more regularly.

The group conscience approved the motion about the Traditions, while my pet project, the Serenity Prayer, was shot down. I sat there feeling swollen with offended pride, but something I had learned in Al-Anon kept pounding in my head: “…to place principles above personalities.” Suddenly it didn’t matter that my suggestion had been defeated. We were all together in fellowship, and that was all that mattered.

Within the safety of my Al-Anon group I learn to let go of needing to have my way. With practice, I am able to apply this lesson to all of my relationships.

Today’s Reminder

It is important to express my ideas. It is also important to accept the outcome. I can acknowledge myself for taking the risk to speak out, knowing that the results of my actions are out of my hands. Today I choose to trust those results to my Higher Power.

“Your proper concern is alone the action of duty, not the fruits of the action. Cast then away all desire and fear for the fruits, and perform your duty.” ~ The Bhagavad Gita

END OF QUOTE—————————————

NOTE: The Bhagavad Gita is not a person but a sacred text.

It is a 700-verse section of the Indian epic Mahabharata, written in Sanskrit. The title means “Song of God.” It takes the form of a dialogue between Prince Arjuna and Lord Krishna, who serves as his charioteer.

  • Context: The conversation happens on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, just before a great war. Arjuna is filled with doubt and despair about fighting his own kin, teachers, and friends.
  • Content: Krishna counsels him, teaching about duty (dharma), devotion (bhakti), selfless action (karma yoga), meditation (dhyana), and knowledge (jnana).
  • Significance: It has become one of the central texts of Hindu philosophy, but its teachings have also influenced people worldwide, including thinkers like Gandhi, Emerson, and Tolstoy.

So, when someone asks “Who is The Bhagavad Gita?” the clearest answer is:
It is a dialogue between Krishna (God’s voice) and Arjuna (the struggling human soul), preserved as scripture rather than as a person.

END OF NOTE—————————————

Sometimes there is a clash between my hunger to be heard and the protection of the Program, that requires principles are exalted above personalities. If my idea is cut down, should I allow my ego to swell like a boil, to nurture protective pride so that it twists itself into righteous sulking? No, I remain inside the guardrails of the Traditions, where I find not comfort but containment. The compass points away from self-importance toward survival of the fellowship. My project is nothing. The journey is everything.

Rejection is not death. It is raw fuel. To speak is courage. To accept silence without begging is power. The paradox of Recovery sharpens its edge: I am strong enough to assert My voice, and I am strong enough to walk away when it is ignored. I refuse the begging bowl. I take instead the freedom of acceptance to protect my mind.

I am responsible to perform duty, and to choke the hunger for results. Work is mine. Product is God’s.  This is not surrender in chains — this is the weapon of detachment.  My worth is not in whether others approve. My worth is in the action I alone command.

Speak My truth. Accept the result. Release the fruit.
This is not silence, nor self-erasure. This is Intelligent Spirituality. This is Iconoclasm turned inward — smashing the false idol of my own wounded ego.

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Endigar 1046

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Sep 27:

“If only I had infinite wisdom,” I secretly think. “If only I could see everything before me, a clear path, the knowledge of how I must spend each moment of life!” But in meeting after meeting in Al-Anon I am reminded that I can only work with what I have today. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. What’s more, I am probably better off not knowing. If I knew what was coming, I suspect that I would spend all my time trying to run from painful experiences instead of living. I would miss out on so much great stuff.

I can trust my Higher Power to lead me through this day so that I will be prepared for the future when it arrives and able to work with whatever it brings. This leaves me time to enjoy the many gifts life has to offer, time that would otherwise be spent worrying.

Today’s Reminder

An old maxim says, “It’ll shine when it shines.” If I am willing to listen, I will receive all the information I need when the time is right. “Just for Today” I will know that I’m in good hands.

“Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.” ~ Just for Today

END OF QUOTE—————————————

I admit that I want control of the future. My mind howls for the full map, the infinite foresight that promises safety. In my prayer, I sometimes treat my Higher Power as a milk cow, trying to squeeze a supernatural blueprint to assuage my fear of the unknown. But I confess: such knowledge would corrupt me, enslave me, strip me of the fierce originality of My Story. If I were given tomorrow in advance, I might become a coward of my own life—running from valleys of pain, missing hidden meadows of joy. The lie of certainty kills the vitality of risk.

So, I stay with today, even when tomorrow screams for attention like a tyrant demanding tribute. Just for Today becomes more than a slogan—it becomes intelligent Self–Patriotism: a battle cry to keep my sovereignty in the present moment. To live this day is not passivity; it is strategy. It spares me from the tyranny of catastrophizing and frees the energy that would otherwise be wasted begging for a prophecy I cannot use.

What might I discover if I stop demanding answers and start listening for timing? I no longer beg. Begging is contamination. I receive the lantern-light of My Higher Power, not a floodlight of false omniscience. God does not bribe Me with full knowledge; He grants just enough illumination for the next indicated step. Silence becomes My Freedom, the Core that is Quiet.

Growth is not in anticipation of every storm but in learning how to walk in the rain without running for cover. My framework is sharpened: I do not need infinite wisdom; I need willingness. I do not need the whole plan; I need the next mile-marker. The horizon is not my inheritance. The present is.

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