From Courage to Change of May 31:
Legends have often told of spiritual journeys in which the hero must face great challenges before gaining treasure at the journey’s end. As the heroes of our own stories, we in Al-Anon have also embarked upon a spiritual journey – one of self-discovery.
With the help of our program and the support of our fellowship, we explore our hidden motives, secrets, buried memories, and unrecognized talents. As we draw upon the wisdom of Al-Anon’s Steps, principles, and tools, we learn to overcome obstacles to personal growth, such as the effects of alcoholism and a variety of defects of character.
We are guided on this journey by a Power greater than ourselves, but the steps we take must be our own. Only by facing the darkness can we receive the treasure – the light and joy of emerging released from all that has held us back.
Today’s Reminder
Self-knowledge is the path to personal freedom. The Steps give me directions and help me to cope with anything I encounter along the way.
” The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles . . . only by a spiritual journey . . . by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home.”
~ Wendell Berry
END OF QUOTE—————————————
The above diagram shows my inner onion of mental and emotional challenges that often manifest in defects of character. Any one of the outer circles could trip a self-destructive reaction. I used to say that my inner child would go radioactive. Once I had activated my alcoholism, I could not see any of this. All I knew was that I needed to quit feeling what I was feeling. I needed to find a way to separate myself from the radiation pouring out of my inner core. It has taken me 17 years and so many alcoholic relapses to create the above chart in my mind.
The voices of my early development have not yet gone and may never. But I can better see the true from the false. When someone in the Fellowship “calls me on my shit,” I am able to stop and see if that is valid. I do not automatically embrace criticism. I become an advocate for that little boy I have hidden away. There are people in recovery who have stopped drinking or have better relationships with their family, but who have not peeled away their own onion. They might project their internal coping mechanisms into my life. They have learned to lock their inner child away in the downstairs basement and believe that telling me to do so as well is part of recovery. It took me seventeen years to come to this level of clarity, and most people are not willing to do that much work. I can understand why. But I cannot stay sober without doing so.
Ebby Thatcher should have been listed as one of the co-founders of AA, in my opinion. He was not because the program was designed to help overcome alcoholism and he kept suffering relapses. He continued to struggle but died sober. If you are having problems staying sober even while working the Steps, I would suspect that you have some onion peeling to do. You are really going to have to know who you are, and that is not easy if you have spent a lifetime burying your inner child. If you need someone to talk to, email me and I will encourage you to do what you need to do.
Daily Reprieve 
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