By the time we reach Al-Anon, many of us resent others whose lives appear less troubled, envying what we think they have. But in time we discover that each of us is special. I have a unique set of skills, interests, and opportunities. I’m assured that I have everything I need to do what I am here to do today. That doesn’t mean I have everything I want, but I can trust that my Higher Power has a better rasp of what’s good for me than I do.
To envy someone else because I want what I think they have is a waste of time. We are on different paths. They have what they need, I have what I need. Resentment will only put a wedge between me and another human being.
I am no one’s victim. I am where I belong. Envy is nothing more than a hostile form of self-pity. I will not succumb to it today. Instead, I will be grateful for the many gifts, talents, and opportunities I have been give. When I appreciate what I have instead of dwelling on what I lack, I feel good about my life. This allows me to be happy for another person’s abundance.
Today’s Reminder
Another person’s bounty reminds me that wonderful things can happen at any time to anybody. I will appreciate the many gifts I have been given.
“Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand.” ~ Horace
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There are mornings when I wake up with a shadow already in my chest. Some echo of a comparison I never meant to make, lodged somewhere behind my ribs, whispering lies about what I lack. I catch it before it grows teeth. I have learned to do that—thanks to these rooms, these steps, this gentle army of survivors who remind me to stop measuring the worth of my journey against someone else’s map.
It’s so easy to resent what looks like ease in another’s life. To wish for their open doors, their settled smiles, their sense of belonging. But what I see is not the whole of it. And even if it were—what then? What am I really saying when I envy? That my life is not enough? That my path is wrong? That the God who walks with me made some kind of clerical error?
No. Not today.
Today I remember that I have been equipped. Not with what I want, always, but with what I need. Today’s breath. Today’s strength. Today’s lesson. The tools in my pocket might not look like anyone else’s, but they were forged for my hands alone. And I don’t need to prove that to anyone. Not even to myself.
Envy is a disguise. It cloaks my pain in righteousness, then asks me to bow to it. But I won’t worship at that altar. I am not powerless here. I can choose gratitude over grudge. I can admire someone’s light without cursing my shadow. I can remember: another person’s abundance is not my deprivation—it is proof that beauty is still being handed out.
May I meet this hour, the one blessed for me, with open hands. Not to take, but to receive.
Al-Anon helps many of us to cope with crises that we simply could not have managed on our own. We learn to lean on a Power greater than ourselves, and through the faith and support that surround us, we discover that we can live and even grow through terrible difficult times. For most of us, the situation eventually alters, or we learn to find peace with it. Some of us continue to worry. What if crises return? Al-Anon has helped before, but will it work for me if I need it again? What if some other misfortune comes to pass? I cannot know what the future will bring. My best hope is every bit as likely to occur as my worst fear, so I have no reason to give more weight to my negative assumptions. All I can do is make the most of this day. Today I can choose to trust my recovery, the tools of the program, and my Higher Power, and to recognize how very far I have come. Today’s Reminder Today I will take a few minutes to acknowledge my growth. I am not perfect, but I certainly have made progress. “. . . we may not recognize our progress right away, but the effects of working the Al-Anon program are profound and lasting.” ~ . . . In All Our Affairs
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I’ve walked through fires I once thought would consume me. Some were of my own making, others were handed to me by life, or lineage, or love. And somehow, I’m still here—still standing, still growing, still reaching toward light.
I felt a quiet truth settle in today: the ache I sometimes carry is not failure. It’s memory. It’s the body remembering how bad it once was and bracing itself for what might come again.
But the wisdom of recovery doesn’t demand I erase that fear. It just reminds me not to build my future around it.
I’ve seen my Higher Power show up in unlikely places—in the middle of crisis, in the calm of morning light, in the eyes of strangers and the pages of sacred texts. I’ve seen grace turn wreckage into soil. So why wouldn’t It do so again?
Today, I honor the fact that I’ve grown. I am not the man I was. And while I’m still becoming, I can rest in the assurance that I don’t face the next thing alone.
I have tools. I have Spirit. I have community.
And I have a track record of rising eight after falling seven.
In Al-Anon we talk a lot about the need to let others experience the consequences of their actions. We know that most alcoholics have to hit a “bottom” and become uncomfortable with their own behavior before they can effectively do something about it. Thos of us who love alcoholics often have to learn to get out of the way of this bottom. We learn to detach with love.
Another reason for detachment with love may be equally important in building healthy, loving, respectful relationships. Many of us have interfered not on with a love one’s problems but also with their achievements. I may have the best of intentions, but if I take over other people’s responsibilities, I may rob them of the chance to accomplish something and to feel good about what they’ve done. Although I am trying to help, my actions may be communicating a lack of respect for my loved ones’ abilities. When I detach with love, I offer support by freeing those I care about to experience both their own satisfactions and disappointments.
Today’s Reminder
I am learning the difference between help and interference. Today I will examine the way I offer support.
“Detachment did not mean disinterest… I considered detachment ‘respect for another’s personhood.’” ~ Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism
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Respectful detachment; which speaks less of stepping away and more of stepping aside—creating sacred space for the other to walk their path, however winding or painful it may be. In Al-Anon’s framing, detachment is not abandonment or apathy.
It is, in fact, a deeper form of love—one that honors the sovereignty of the other.
When I rush in to rescue, to soften the blow, or to finish the task, I might be protecting others from their pain—but also from their growth. It is humbling to recognize that even our help, when uninvited or habitual, can be a subtle form of control. This passage reminds me: We do not walk their path for them—we walk alongside, when welcome, and step back when needed.
The phrase, “respect for another’s personhood,” is especially moving. It redefines detachment not as coldness but as reverence. We don’t need to micromanage the divine unfolding of another’s life story. By letting go, we express faith—not only in them, but in the wisdom of life itself.
“Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but more have fallen by the tongue.” This quotation calls attention to a weapon many of us have been known to use: sarcasm. The cutting remark, the snide innuendo, the scornful sneer.
If I could see myself uttering these verbal assaults, I would not be proud of the picture. So why do it? When I am angry or frustrated, I may get momentary satisfaction in scoring a hit, but does sarcasm get me what I truly desire? Will attacking someone else help to solve the problems between us? Is this really the way I wish to behave? Of course not.
Sometimes I feel helpless and angry. When that happens, I might try calling an Al-Anon friend or going to a meeting where I can get some perspective. I might write down every nasty word I want to say and then read it to my Sponsor. Sometimes it feels good to let it out. But I need to do it appropriately and not hurt others needlessly in doing so. Afterward, I’ll be better able to behave constructively and communicate in a way I can be proud of.
Today’s Reminder
Most of us carry more than our share of shame. I will not add to the problem by using cruel, clever words to humiliate a fellow human being. In doing so, I would be shaming myself.
“Everyone in an alcoholic situation deserves and needs extra loving care.” ~ Living with Sobriety
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There’s something seductive about the verbal kill — that flash of superiority, the illusion of power. Especially when I feel powerless inside. When anger has no safe container, when grief hasn’t been grieved, when fear stands at the door of my heart pretending to be courage. That’s when the tongue gets sharp.
And yet, every time I wield words to wound, I am the one who limps away bleeding. Because what I really wanted was connection — not conquest. What I really needed was to be heard, not to be feared. And sarcasm never bridges that gap. It widens it.
Maybe it would be good to learn to call someone. Write it down. Speak it aloud to a Sponsor who won’t flinch. Let the heat rise and cool. Only then am I able to say what’s genuinely true — not just what’s clever.
Humor isn’t my enemy. Neither is anger. They are both holy when held with care. But cruelty masquerading as wit? That’s just unprocessed pain taking the stage in disguise.
Today, I pray for the courage to lay down my sword — even the invisible one. To trade pride for presence. To speak with the kind of fire that warms, not burns. Because I know what it is to walk wounded in a world already full of blades.
Slowly, as I began to recover, I realized what a wonderful gift the Al-Anon program was. It gave me an understanding of this disease, the tools to change my life, the courage to use them, and a place to talk about my secrets and to hear others share theirs. I wanted my family and friends to have all of these things as well.
The I read the Twelfth Step, about carrying the message to others, and began my missionary work. I dragged people to meetings. I preached what I’d learned to anyone who would listen – and even those who wouldn’t. Of course, I made a fool of myself and none of this worked.
Then I read the Twelfth Step again. This time I noticed the part about practicing these principles in all my affairs. Slowly I came to understand that in living these principles I would carry the message by example.
Today’s Reminder
It’s only natural to want tot share what works for me with those I love. But when I must share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope. If I am insistent on carrying the message, I can work on improving the message my own example conveys.
“We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we don’t even know what it is.”
~Teresa of Avila
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There was a time I thought love meant rescue. That I could keep someone from the edge by standing at it myself. That my sobriety could absorb their chaos. That if I hurt just right, it would heal them.
But the Steps didn’t lead me there.
They led me to detachment. Not indifference — God, no. But love with boundaries. Respect with surrender. A kind of spiritual stepping back that feels like dying, until you realize it’s not them you’re losing — it’s the illusion of control.
I’ve had to let people walk into pain. I’ve had to stop cushioning consequences. I’ve had to stop rewriting the story God was trying to tell them.
Because the truth is: I’m not the author of anyone else’s recovery. I don’t get to fast-forward their learning curve. I don’t get to stand between them and their moment of surrender.
It hurts to watch. Sometimes it rips something open in me. But today I trust that love can stand back, not just stand by.
I trust that consequences are sometimes grace in disguise.
I don’t do it perfectly. But I do it more than I used to. And that, for today, is enough.
In Step Eleven I seek to improve my conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation. How I do this is completely up to me. Perhaps I become more conscious of a Higher Power when I look for signs of guidance in the people around me, or in the events and unexplained coincidences of my life. Or perhaps I seek this Power further away from the world of logic and reason. I might look for answers through my feelings, or my instincts, or my dreams. Maybe I pursue a more traditional spiritual path. Or I can decide to keep myself open to all of these possibilities. Whatever path I choose, I know I must keep trying as often as I can to follow the course offered to me by my Higher Power. Only in this way can I be confident of my actions; only in this way can I find the courage to change.
Today’s Reminder
I will take time to clear my mind of unnecessary, hurried thoughts. There seems to be a limited amount of space in my mind until I do. But when I clear this clutter away, the space becomes limitless and the guidance I am truly willing to accept comes through.
“The spiritual exercise suggested by the Eleventh Step is a powerful force for good in our lives. Let me not ever think I have no time for it.”
~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
END OF QUOTE—————————————
““I believe the universe wants to be noticed. I think the universe is improbably biased toward consciousness, that it rewards intelligence in part because the universe enjoys its elegance being observed. And who am I, living in the middle of history, to tell the universe that it—or my observation of it—is temporary?”
~ The Fault in Our Stars – John Green
WHERE ARE YOU? I am looking. I am listening. I am lusting. El Shaddai. Oh breasted One.
Since the Tenth Step is part of my daily routine, I try to think of it as a gentle, warm, and loving way to take care of myself. By continuing to take my own inventory and promptly admitting when I am wrong, I clear out many unwanted attitudes that might otherwise clutter my day.
This Step has helped me to learn that living one day at a time involves more than pulling my attention back from fears about the future. It also means leaving yesterday’s baggage in the past. Each day I ask myself if carrying this extra weight will in any way help me today. If not, I can drop it here and now and walk away from unwanted negativity with a lightness of spirit.
Today’s Reminder
On this new day, let me quietly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it is time to let them go.
“Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free.”
…In All Our Affairs
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I have trouble with letting go of the day. A new day doesn’t usually feel like something given to me, but something arriving to take me in directions I prefer not to go. But the darkness of eventide provides me with a respite, a playground for my imagination, a place where the exploration of ideas meets no criticism from the collective machine that grinds through the daylight. I am jealous for this time, and allowing a ritual such as Step Ten to accompany me to this sacred escape is not something I relish.
Yet, had I not invited alcohol, gaming, and movie binging into this temple of Morpheus because I was eaten away with thought worms that fed off my life. Neither the parasitic worms nor the solutions of escapism provided me with respite, release, or freedom. The deadliest criticisms I had to endure never came from the surrounding society. Step Ten allows me to smash all the mirrors that have nothing to do with my own personal inventory and to stop trying to hit targets for my life provided by ghosts of inadequacy. It is never the day that needs to be renewed. It is me. A well informed spirit has no fear of walking in the daylight. I desire that. Thus, I surrender the quiet to my Higher Power through this ritual.
“Can you imagine the number of mirrors this man must have smashed?” ~ J.K. Rowling
Yes. I can. He had to smash every single mirror, except one. I keep mine clean and clear with Step Ten. To your own self be true.
Step Nine says I need not make direct amends to those I have injured if, in doing so, I might cause further injury. How do I know whether or not to take action?
If direct amends are inappropriate, I can trust my Higher Power to let me know. Otherwise, if I have worked the Eighth Step and become truly willing to make amends, I believe the opportunities will arise when I am ready.
For example, I was unable to discuss my personal life with my mother. Fearing her rejection, I rejected her instead. An upcoming visit presented an opportunity to make amends, but I wasn’t sure I was ready. Would making amends at this tie injure me?
After my mother arrived, I had the feeling that this was “the time.” I prayed for courage and asked my Higher Power to help me find the words. My mother sat down with me in a quiet moment and, to my amazement, brought up every subject I had wanted to discuss. I realized that the opportunity to be close to her had always existed, but I hadn’t been willing, until then, to take part in it.
Today’s Reminder
My Higher Power does not put any challenges before me that I am unable to face. The comfort I find in that knowledge can overcome my fears.
“The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are.”
~ John Burroughs
END OF QUOTE—————————————
It sounds to me that the best approach to the Step Eight and Nine amends is to list all, to become willing to make amends to all, and then, after an honest conversation with my sponsor or other points of accountability, to make a notation, a mark, and to set aside those that might cause further harm.
These set-aside amends, I make to my Higher Power and seek inspiration for a lifestyle amends. I pray for those who deserved an amends from me, and only if my Higher Power gives me opportunity and inspiration, do I carefully move forward.
Otherwise, I change the way I live in honor of that karmic debt.
“There was once a very small town with a narrow cobblestone lane that ran north to south through the town. In the center of the town, the lane was lined on both sides with many small kiosks for food, tea, and all the other items needed for living. There were numerous other lanes and paths that ran both parallel and perpendicular to the main lane that went through the center of town. One of the rules of this town was that all donkeys, which most of the town people used to carry their goods, had to be tethered just outside the town center in a special area designed just for them.
Unfortunately, one day one of the townspeople forgot to tether his donkey securely and it got loose, wandered down into the center of town, and settled several yards before the tea kiosk on the north end of the lane blocking access to anyone attempting to walk south down the lane. Now this particular donkey, who was very big and very stubborn and was used to getting his own way, refused to move as people tried to talk him or even shove him out of the way. Since no one could get by the donkey, a crowd began to gather. Those brave souls who tried to slip in front of or behind the donkey to get to their favorite shop would most often receive a swift kick. Since the owner was nowhere to be found, the townspeople became exasperated. The donkey was ruining their day.
As they were discussing what to do, one of them looked north up the lane and noticed a famous Taoist master, who often came to town for some tea, watching their activities from some distance away. “Ah, he will know what to do one of them said to the others. Let’s watch and learn from him.” The Taoist master continued walking toward them until he reached one of the perpendicular lanes, where he turned and disappeared. The townspeople stared in disbelief. “He always walks this way to get his tea,” one of them said. “Where has he gone?” In confusion, they then returned to figuring out how to get past the donkey. A few minutes later the Taoist master suddenly appeared at the south end of the lane, on the other side of the donkey, walking north toward the tea kiosk. With a smile on his face, he waved to the townspeople as he entered the kiosk to get his tea. It didn’t take the townspeople long to realize that he had simply bypassed the donkey by making an extra effort to walk around the block.”
I am working yet another 12 Step program in ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunction). My first sponsor in the program retreated to the safety of his home and devoted himself to family life. As far as I know, he and his family are doing alright. I turned to the man who had been his sponsor and asked that he help me continue forward with the program. He agreed. We had great conversations and I appreciated his intellect. He was helpful to me until we got to the 3rd Step. He seemed to become aggressive toward me and he recognized it. He did not know why and we dismissed it and moved on. It was not something overly hurtful, and was even somewhat playful.
On Labor Day, 2024, I was chairing an AA meeting and all seemed to be going well. But my ACA sponsor had just received some disturbing news about one of his loved ones getting caught up in the web of addiction, and was now in the hospital. The upbeat nature of the sharing in the rooms was more than he could bare, and he shared his pain with us and his feeling of being personally responsible for transferring the disease across generation lines, since it was his granddaughter. He ended his share with “fuck you.” He had said that he didn’t want to dampen the mood and bring us down, and he doubled dipped with a weak attempt to alleviate the dead silence in the room with “I have a joke…never mind.”
I am not sure what he expected in a room of 42 alcoholics, but he was obviously not getting the personal healing or affirmation or…I don’t know. He would share several times more when others in the room tried to respond with traditional AA guidance. Before the meeting was over, many members were just getting up and leaving. I was blind-sided by his behavior. I brought the meeting to an end and went to him afterwards.
“Are you okay?”
He told me he was expressing remorse which he said is a perfectly natural human emotion. I thought to myself that his view of his own behavior was remorse. He apparently did not recognize his own aggression.
It did not make sense to me that he was feeling remorse about something he had absolutely no control over, and felt no remorse over something he should have supreme control over. He was no new-comer to the rooms.
“Is there anything I can do to be helpful?”
He said that maybe I could pray to my Higher Power. But he said it in a way that I did not know whether he was being serious or sarcastic.
I left and spent time praying to try and understand what had just happened. Early in my recovery period, I had shown my ass a few times in the room. I had hurt for the loss of my stepson to a drug overdose. I tried to focus on the part of his expression that I related to. But I could not shake the feeling that something ugly had just happened.
I called my AA Sponsor who told me about being at the mercy of emotions sometimes in sharing in the rooms and having to live with the consequences. I talked to several other people I trust. One who knew me more than anyone ever has, and one that was actually present in the room at the time.
The next day my ACA sponsor apologized to the group for violating AA protocol, “but I do not apologize for my thoughts.” He sounded like someone who was coerced into giving an apology. I could not even remember the particulars of his thoughts. It was the emotion of anger being vomited out on the unsuspecting that stayed with me. But that was my perspective. I decided to reach out directly to him via text, because he has a habit of talking over people when in direct communication. I am more at home with writing.
I suppose it would be unfair for me to reveal exactly what he said, because he spoke freely trusting me. But I am sure there are many that were in the room on Labor Day who felt their trust had been violated. Never the less, I will speak in generalities about that text communications. I will quote myself exactly and relay generally his response.
“I am not sure if you were being sarcastic or genuine, but I have reached to the Infinite Lonely (what I call the God of my understanding) to communicate with the Most High (what he calls the God of his understanding) requesting favor and protection for your grand daughter.
Are you angry or carrying a resentment toward me? In looking back to Monday (Labor Day), is there something I could have done better in chairing the meeting?”
He told me that Monday was not about me and he stated plainly that I was doing what I was supposed to do. He expressed a feeling of closeness to me.
He said that he was concerned that everybody in AA has an oatmeal answer for everything. He seemed to regret that he expected something different. He stated that he had done too much personal work and as a result is keenly aware of human behavior. He said that his problem was that he became impatient with everyone and that he should have been more accepting of people who just don’t know.
His mind imaged the end of the world being populated only by people from AA. Would that be the best examples of humanity? He stated that we both knew that would not be true.
He then turned to my assertion that I had spoken to my Higher Power to speak to his Higher Power about his granddaughter and said something I find interesting. Here I will quote his words exactly to avoid losing anything in my paraphrase.
“You can choose a ready guide from some celestial voice. If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. You can choose from phantom fear or kindness that can kill. I will choose a path that’s real. I will choose free will.” (I later learned that this is a quote from Rush’s song, Free Will).
I like this as a stand alone quote. But in context with what we were talking about it felt a bit like a backhanded critique of my assertion. I try to push my personal paranoia down. He said, as if it was to make the relevance of the above quote clearer that he is not a group think sort of guy. Again, I relate but don’t actually understand the relevance.
He ended that conversation with an assertion that he knows he unintentionally confuses folks in the rooms, but he will not compromise the freedom he has found through ACA. He expressed gratitude to AA for his sobriety and ACA for his freedom.
I also want to be free in the working of my own program. I don’t want to suppress who I am to keep the interstate of his communication unobstructed. So, I sent the following text to him:
“I will say that I left that meeting hurt, confused, and defensive. I was not the only one. There was a mass exodus toward the end of the meeting. Your expression of remorse came out as anger and contention and blindsided me. A lot of my reaction stemmed from my own past with playing diplomat for explosive emotions. Isn’t the exercise of freedom at the expense of others a form of dominance? I relate to your anguish and remorse. And I have seen meetings absorb a lot of pain for individuals. But your intellect and presence coupled with the shotgun proclamation of “fuck you” felt like an assault. I think you could have managed that better with more consideration for the collateral damage to those who have less time with the program. I strongly suspect that your words should have been shared with your sponsor first. I am going to pull back and work the moral inventory of my ACA with my VA counselor to give time to heal. I do love and respect you. And I wish you to be always free. Just let me get out of the way first ;-)”
This did not seem to set well with him. I will quote exactly what follows because he demonstrated to me that he is likely to repeat his lack of consideration and combativeness in that particular fellowship:
“I appreciate you informing me of your feelings but as many people as you saw move away, many moved toward me. I don’t intend to explain myself to anybody. Sorry your feelings were hurt. Maybe a little more time will give you a thicker skin so you can understand things that aren’t as warm and fuzzy as you’d like to see them. You don’t know this, but along with you, I pick up on a regular basis a number of sponsees and with my methodology work them through the steps. Go ahead and be the master of ceremony in the meeting. Everybody loves you and I do too. Thanks for being the voice of the hurt and suffering.
Maybe you’ll be able to be more consistent in working the ACA program with someone else. It might possibly open your eyes to the codependency that regularly displays itself in the rooms of AA…but then again, you might not be ready for it.
If you decide you want to continue, I’ll be available. I have a question: How many people are you working with having completed your 12 steps? I’ll be glad to show you my schedule if you want to see it and that’s not brag, that’s fact.
If I am not mistaken, I got your ACA sponsor through the 12 steps of AA and ACA. He wasn’t able to maintain his program. Real nice guy. I don’t want to be unkind but you may want to apply a firmer hand with your sponsees instead of becoming their buddies.
Please respond. I’d like to hear what you think.”
So, I responded:
“I think you are effective. I most certainly will not argue that I have work to do on myself. It seems you are angry with me and seek to push a button. I do not wish to engage further.”
He continued:
“It’s not possible for you to provoke me to anger and I’m not here to argue, but maybe in 20 years you’ll be able to see it. I see a lot of people get drunk on the emotional side of the program. There is a lots of “love” going around.
I’m done.”
I document this so that I don’t have to repeat myself for those who know me face to face and wonder why I am making some changes in my participation. Feedback from readers is always welcome, and I know this is probably too personal to be blogged. But writing is the best exorcist of my personal demons.
I am looking for a way around the donkey in the alley.
NOTE: I have kept specific information such as names and locations out to protect anonymity. Only those who know me in recovery will be able to identify the players in this drama.
When it came time to actively pursue the Eighth Step (“Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all”), I stopped dead in my tracks! I knew of quite a few people I had harmed but I was absolutely unwilling to even consider making amends to some of them!
My Sponsor suggested I divide my list into three categories: those to whom I was willing to make amends, those to whom I might make amends; and those to whom I would absolutely not ever make amends. When I finished, I started Step Nine by making amends to those on the first list.
The amazing thing was that, as I proceeded, I found some of the names from my “maybe” list shifting to my “willing” list. In time, even some “absolutely not” people appeared on my “maybe” list. Eventually it became easier to make amends, even to “absolutely not” people. My reward? Some renewed friendships and family ties; more importantly, an ability to face the new day without guilt, because I had owned up to my responsibilities.
Today’s Reminder
I will not let myself be stopped from taking Step Eight or Step Nine because I can’t do it perfectly overnight. I will let myself be where I am today, and do what I am able to do.
“It does not matter how slowly you go
So long as you do not stop.”
~ Confucius
END OF QUOTE—————————————
I was told to face my most difficult amends first. I suppose I was willing to take on the entire list as long as it was taken one by one in my mind. I gave my full attention to one target at a time making sure that I was prepared to actively listen, to consider and learn for my own battle with that mental obsession, and with the hope of finding a very pragmatic way to make things right. I spent time with my Sponsor preparing, to make sure that I was not preaching nor was I making it about me. It was the beginning of learning to be an active listener which is a skill I need as a Sponsor. It was just another way I was being enhanced or modified by the process. One Step at a time toward a better, freer version of myself.
Daily Reprieve 
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