Daily Reprieve

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

. . . our Society has concluded that it has but one high mission – to carry the A.A. message to those who don’t know there’s a way out.  (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 151)

The “Light” to freedom shines bright on my fellow alcoholics as each one of us challenges the other to grow. The “Steps” to self-improvement have small beginnings, but each Step builds the “ladder” out of the pit of despair to new hope. Honesty becomes my “tool” to unfurl the “chains” which bound me. A sponsor, who is a caring listener, can help me to truly hear the message guiding me to freedom.

I ask God for the courage to live in such a way that the Fellowship may be a testimony to His favor. This mission frees me to share my gifts of wellness through a spirit of readiness to serve others.

END OF QUOTE

——————————————

One High Mission (Primary Purpose):  Carry the A.A. message to those who don’t know there’s a way out.

Fellowship:  Provides a Light to freedom that challenges us to grow.  It is to serve as a testimony to the favor of the Higher Power.  My personal contribution is Courage to live in a certain way.

Steps:  Provides self-improvement and ladder to escape despair and find new hope.  My personal contribution to the effectiveness of the steps is Honesty.

Sponsorship:  Provides a caring listener that can help me hear the message, while I unfurl (inventory) the chains of my bondage.  My contribution is to share my Gifts of Wellness through a Spirit of Readiness to Serve Others.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

The more A.A. sticks to its primary purpose, the greater will be its helpful influence everywhere.  (A.A. Comes of Age, page 109)

It is with gratitude that I reflect on the early days of our Fellowship and those wise and loving “foresteppers” who proclaimed that we should not be diverted from our primary purpose, that of carrying the message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

I desire to impart respect to those who labor in the field of alcoholism, being ever mindful that A.A. endorses no causes other than its own. I must remember that A.A. has no monopoly on miracle making and I remain humbly grateful to a loving God who made A.A. possible.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————–

When I read this, several thoughts come to mind.  Focus brings efficiency.  Focused simplicity is preferable to diverted complication.  I have been taught this and have experienced what happens when I pile too many side issues into my recovery.  I get stuck.  confused.  I feel panic.

When I walk into the fellowship, I become part of the primary purpose.  I am grateful.  I am responsible.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.  (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 139)

I first heard the short form of the Third Tradition in the Preamble. When I came to A.A. I could not accept myself, my alcoholism, or a Higher Power. If there had been any physical, mental, moral, or religious requirements for membership, I would be dead today. Bill W. said in his tape on the Traditions that the Third Tradition is a charter for individual freedom. The most impressive thing to me was the feeling of acceptance from members who were practicing the Third Tradition by tolerating and accepting me. I feel acceptance is love and love is God’s will for us.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————————-

“I would be dead today.”  I needed a bridge out of the nightmare realm of not being able to accept myself, my Higher Power, or my alcoholism.  I had nothing I would or could give and so the bridge I needed must not demand I pay a toll to cross.  I am now in training to become a bridge builder myself, by working the steps to move from physical abstinence to spiritual sobriety.  The idea that this third tradition tolerance is a charter for individual freedom resonates strongly.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

At one time or another most A.A. groups go on rule-making benders. . . After a time fear and intolerance subside. [and we realize] We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.   (“A.A. Tradition: How it Developed,” pages 10, 11, 12)

A.A. offered me complete freedom and accepted me into the Fellowship for myself. Membership did not depend upon conformity, financial success or education and I am so grateful for that. I often ask myself if I extend the same equality to others or if I deny them the freedom to be different. Today I try to replace my fear and intolerance with faith, patience, love and acceptance. I can bring these strengths to my A.A. group, my home and my office. I make an effort to bring my positive attitude everywhere that I go.

I have neither the right, nor the responsibility, to judge others. Depending on my attitude I can view newcomers to A.A., family members and friends as menaces or as teachers. When I think of some of my past judgments, it is clear how my self-righteousness caused me spiritual harm.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————————

“The rule is that we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.”  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 74)

What keeps freedom from being abdication of responsibility?  When does the notion of tolerance become the social slumber of apathy?  In the beginning, A.A. was able to offer me complete freedom and acceptance because the tyranny of alcoholism was threatening my survival.  If I did not comply with the program that was suggested as a means of recovery, everything I loved, including my own life, could be taken from me.

A.A. was an underground refuge of freedom in a world of alcoholic oblivion.

Ultimately, I must have a spiritual awakening in order to keep that negative freedom from alcohol and turn it to the positive freedom of personal power.  Armed with tools of internal transformation, I can give to myself more than tolerance.  I have become someone I accept and appreciate.

When I know the miracle of my own growth and empowerment, others can no longer threaten me.  I trust them to the same process that helped me to embrace my life.

I have just added a new page; The 82 Occurrences of the Word Must in the BB.  I took it from the following page (and sourced them in the page):

http://home.earthlink.net/~insure/Big_Book_Musts.html

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

Day by day, we try to move a little toward God’s perfection. So we need not be consumed by maudlin guilt. . . .   (As Bill Sees It, page 15)

When I first discovered that there is not a single “don’t” in the Twelve Steps of A.A., I was disturbed because this discovery swung open a giant portal. Only then was I able to realize what A.A. is for me:

A.A.is not a program of “don’ts,” but of “do’s.”

A.A. is not martial law; it is freedom.
A.A. is not tears over defects, but sweat over fixing them.
A.A. is not penitence; it is salvation.
A.A. is not “Woe to me” for my sins, past and present.
A.A. is “Praise God” for the progress I am making today.

END OF QUOTE

——————————————————

I looked up the word maudlin because I just never use it and have not heard it used that often.  This was the definition I found:

An adjective meaning self-pityingly or tearfully sentimental, often through drunkenness.

The symmetry of the logic is appealing.  I do think that statements that indicate that drinking alcohol and isolated selfishness will kill me are implied “don’ts.”  Nothing is said directly become the program is meant to be suggestive only.

I agree with the spirit of today’s contribution.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

Our spiritual and emotional growth in A.A. does not depend so deeply upon success as it does upon our failures and setbacks. If you will bear this in mind, I think that your slip will have the effect of kicking you upstairs, instead of down,  (As Bill Sees It, page 184)

In keeping with the pain and adversity which our founders encountered and overcame in establishing A.A., Bill W. sent us a clear message: a relapse can provide a positive experience toward abstinence and a lifetime of recovery. A relapse brings truth to what we hear repeatedly in meetings – “Don’t take that first drink!” It reinforces the belief in the progressive nature of the disease, and it drives home the need for, and beauty of, humility in our spiritual program. Simple truths come in complicated ways to me when I become ego driven.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————————

“Simple truths come in complicated ways to me when I become ego driven.”  This makes me laugh, because it represents something I have experienced often in the relapse rodeo.  May I and those like me get kicked upstairs and gain a lifetime of recovery.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

Gratitude should go forward, rather than backward.  (As Bill Sees It, page 29)

I am very grateful that my Higher Power has given me a second chance to live a worthwhile life. Through Alcoholics Anonymous, I have been restored to sanity. The promises are being fulfilled in my life. I am grateful to be free from the slavery of alcohol. I am grateful for peace of mind and the opportunity to grow, but my gratitude should go forward rather than backward. I cannot stay sober on yesterday’s meetings or past Twelfth-Step calls; I need to put my gratitude into action today. Our co-founder said our gratitude can best be shown by carrying the message to others. Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion. I need to put it into action by working Step Twelve, by carrying the message and practicing the principles in all my affairs. I am grateful for the chance to carry the message today!

END OF QUOTE

—————————————-

“Without action, my gratitude is just a pleasant emotion.”  For me, pleasant emotions are experienced and then archived.  These archived emotions set the groundwork for expectation for more of the same and later they ferment into resentments if those expectations go unmet.  If I transform my gratitude into courage and motivation to seek opportunities for action, my expectations turn to my own need to give away what I have received in this program of recovery.  Those expectations are able to birth new gratitude.

“I need to put it into action by working Step Twelve, by carrying the message and practicing the principles in all my affairs. I am grateful for the chance to carry the message today!”  Yes – So Say We All.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 133)

For years I believed in a punishing God and blamed Him for my misery. I have learned that I must lay down the “weapons” of self in order to pick up the “tools” of the A.A. program. I do not struggle with the program because it is a gift and I have never struggled when receiving a gift. If I sometimes keep on struggling, it is because I’m still hanging onto my old ideas and “. . . the results are nil.”

END OF QUOTE

———————————————————

My social anxiety is building up once more, pulling on me, whispering seductively, “Hide.”  Last night at a late night meeting this very section of the Big Book was read for topic discussion.  My mind was fogged by a sense of being alone in the crowd.  So many times I have given into these anxieties and allowed myself to be relegated to a Meeting Lurker.

I think that Gomu (God of my understanding) is making an offer, if I will push through and continue to connect.  Life does not have to be a vale of tears, and being happy, joyous, and free is not a frivolous life.  I do not have to be in mourning to be taken seriously.  There is great depth to a genuine smile.

Give freely to others what I am seeking.  Breath deep and trust the process.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.  (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 64)

It is very difficult for me to come to terms with my spiritual illness because of my great pride, disguised by my material successes and my intellectual power. Intelligence is not incompatible with humility, provided I place humility first. To seek prestige and wealth is the ultimate goal for many in the modern world. To be fashionable and to seem better than I really am is a spiritual illness.

To recognize and to admit my weaknesses is the beginning of good spiritual health. It is a sign of spiritual health to be able to ask God every day to enlighten me, to recognize His will, and to have the strength to execute it. My spiritual health is excellent when I realize that the better I get, the more I discover how much help I need from others.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————————————

Spiritual health includes my ability to make connections with God and with others who are committed to my strongest and most useful self-expression.  Pride, or the need to seem better than I really am, is illness because its inherit delusions require that I maintain an isolating wall to preserve the fantasy.

Spirituality equals connection is my stock answer.  Although it is useful, it does not resonate with me this morning.  I fear that having a quick answer might keep me from hearing something deeper and slower to manifest. . . so I ask God to enlighten me.  I do wish to recognize His will.  I most certainly need an infusion of the strength to execute it.

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

WE . . . (The first word of the First Step)  ~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 21

When I was drinking all I could ever think about was “I, I, I,” or “Me, Me, Me.” Such painful obsession of self, such soul sickness, such spiritual selfishness bound me to the bottle for more than half my life.

The journey to find God and to do His will one day at a time began with the first word of the First Step . . . “We.” There was power in numbers, there was strength in numbers, there was safety in numbers, and for an alcoholic like me, there was life in numbers. If I had tried to recover alone I probably would have died. With God and another alcoholic I have a divine purpose in my life . . . I have become a channel for God’s healing love.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————–

I like the concept of “we.”   I believe there is truth in all the contributor’s assertions about strength in numbers.  I also believe that for this program to go from a 2 dimensional on paper theory program to a 3 dimensional walking around heart beating interactive program there has to be a “We.”  It is not just a good idea, it is survival.