Archive for October 17, 2025

Endigar 1065

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 16:

When I am trying to tackle a tough problem or cope with a stressful situation, and I’ve done all I can for the moment, what then? I can do something that will nurture my mind, body, or spirit. Perhaps I’ll take a walk or listen to music. Maybe I’ll meet a friend for coffee and conversation. I could have something nutritious to eat, or sit quietly and meditate, or read a book.

Al-Anon is a program of action in which we recognize that we have choices about what we do with our time. A bubble bath, a massage, an Al-Anon call, a bike ride, or a nap might be constructive ways to fill time that might otherwise be wasted on worry.

Even though I may be powerless to change my circumstances, I certainly am not helpless. I can use my time to do something good for myself. When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents. I have a chance to feel good, even when surrounded by crisis.

Today’s Reminder

One of my primary responsibilities is to take care of myself. I will find a small way to do something for my mind, body, and spirit today.

“Part of my recovery is respecting my need and my right to let go and relax.” ~ In All Our Affairs

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This a vital spiritual truth: powerlessness is not helplessness.

When we come to the end of our control, the ego wants to keep fighting — to analyze, fix, or force a solution. But recovery teaches us to redirect that energy toward nourishmentratherthannoise. The act of self-care becomes both rebellion and surrender: rebellion against the inner critic that says, “You must suffer to prove you care,” and surrender to a Higher Wisdom that says, “Peace itself is productive.”

Taking a walk, calling a friend, or resting isn’t avoidance — it’s alignment. Each act becomes a quiet ritual of participation in life rather than domination over it. When we treat ourselves tenderly, we stop making punishment our form of progress. Love and rest turn out to be far more transformative than control and worry.

In the language of recovery, this is Step Three in motion: turning our will and our lives over, moment by moment, to a Power greater than our fear. By choosing nurturing actions, we acknowledge that serenity can coexist with chaos — that grace can enter even through something as humble as a cup of coffee or a deep breath.

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Endigar 1064

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 15:

The most loving form of detachment I have found has been forgiveness. Instead of thinking of it as an eraser to wipe another’s slate clean or a gavel that I pound to pronounce someone “not guilty,” I think of forgiveness as a scissors. I use it to cut the strings of resentment that bind me to a problem or a past hurt. By releasing resentment, I set myself free.

When I am consumed with negativity over another person’s behavior, I have lost my focus. I needn’t tolerate what I consider unacceptable, but wallowing in negativity will not alter the situation. If there is action to take, I am free to take it. Where I am powerless to change the situation, I will turn it over to my Higher Power. By truly letting go, I detach and forgive.

When my thoughts are full of bitterness, fear, self-pity, and dreams of revenge, there is little room for love or for the quiet voice of guidance within me. I am willing to love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back, and then I can let them go.

Today’s Reminder

Every time I try to tighten the noose of resentment around someone’s neck, I am really only choking myself. Today I will practice forgiveness instead.

“A part of me wants to cling to old resentments, but I know that the more I forgive, the better my life works.” ~ In All Our Affairs

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There is wisdom in reimagining forgiveness as scissors rather than an eraser or a gavel. The eraser implies denial; the gavel implies judgment. But the scissors — ah, the scissors liberate. They sever the invisible cords of resentment that tether the heart to its wound. In recovery, this image carries sacred practicality: forgiveness is not endorsement of harm, but release from captivity. We are not freeing the offender; we are untangling ourselves from their shadow.

Resentment masquerades as power — the illusion that if I hold the memory tight enough, I maintain control. Yet in truth, resentment reverses the flow of energy inward, strangling joy and suffocating serenity. Detachment is not abandonment; it’s oxygen.

When our minds orbit another’s wrongdoing, we lose alignment with our own purpose. The spiritual lens of the Tenth and Eleventh Steps teaches us that serenity is born in focus — a return to inner guidance. By turning over what we cannot control to a Higher Power, we shift from obsession to observation, from judgment to humility. The act of forgiving becomes a way to see clearly again.

To love myself enough to admit that resentments hold me back is a subtle revolution. It reframes forgiveness from moral obligation to self-care. Each release is a small resurrection, a reclaiming of psychic territory once occupied by pain. The heart, once constricted by bitterness, begins to pulse again with divine rhythm.

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Endigar 1063

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Oct 14:

“Do not search for the truth,” said an ancient patriarch, “only cease to cherish opinions.” For me, ceasing to cherish opinions is part of the Tenth Step. Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions – that is, my prejudices, assumptions, self-righteous stances, attitudes.

For example, I continue to assume that I have the inside track on how everything should be done, and that other people are too shortsighted to recognize this great truth. Reality proves me wrong. I also revert to the idea that ignoring my feelings is practical, even desirable. This, too, is wrong. And I act as if I can run my life without trusting in my Higher Power. Wrong again.

I give thanks for Step Ten’s reminder that I need to continue taking personal inventory and making frequent corrections, especially in the areas where I tend to repeat my mistakes.

Today’s Reminder

It is no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I am sure that I want to change. The Tenth Step allows me to be aware of sliding back into faulty thinking. I don’t have to abuse myself when it happens — that doesn’t help at all. By promptly admitting when I’m wrong, I am doing what I can to change.

“No longer must we accumulate burdens of guilt or resentment that will become heavier and more potent over time. Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free.” ~ In All Our Affairs

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There’s something profoundly disarming about the invitation to cease cherishing opinions. It’s not an order to stop having them, but to stop worshiping them — to stop bowing to the false god of our own certainty. Opinions become idols when we polish them, defend them, and feed them with outrage. Step Ten isn’t about smashing the idols with a hammer; it’s about quietly withdrawing our devotion and walking back toward the living altar of truth.

In recovery, the deeper disease often isn’t alcohol or control — it’s identification. I mistake my thoughts for truth, my emotions for facts, my judgments for discernment. When I “cherish” my opinions, I marry them to my sense of self, and then any challenge feels like a personal attack. Step Ten loosens that marriage; it allows the divorce between me and myopinions without exiling either.

Changing the thinking of a lifetime isn’t an act of violence but of awareness. The Tenth Step isn’t a courtroom; it’s a calibration. Each inventory is a small act of re-alignment — not penance, not punishment, but participation in an evolving consciousness.

When I promptly admit I’m wrong, I’m not shrinking; I’m expanding. I’m choosing growth over the brittle satisfaction of being right. I’m letting my soul breathe again.

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