“I always open the day with an inspiration board. This morning’s board will honor a fallen hero of free speech and civil discourse – a young man whose death we cannot afford to ignore. Today is also the last day of our unit on the foundational documents of America, with a deep dive into the lyrics of our national anthem. We will add a long, serious discussion of the dangers of extremist language young people are exposed to every day online and the violence it engenders. This is a profound moment that necessitates we talk to our young people about the power of words.” – An American Educator
Trying to follow a suggestion I heard in Al-Anon meetings, I dutifully wrote lists of things for which I was grateful. I listed such things as my health, my job, and food on my table. When I was finished, I didn’t feel very grateful; my mind was still weighted down with the negative thinking that had resulted from living with alcoholism. But I had made a gesture, and the seed of gratitude was planted.
I gradually learned to appreciate the small accomplishments of my daily life. Perhaps I was able to avoid a pointless argument by reciting the Serenity Prayer, or my sharing helped a newcomer, or I finished something I had been neglecting. I was beginning to change. I made a point of recognizing small changes, and my self- esteem grew. The daily application of Al-Anon principles helped me to deepen my sense of gratitude and replace those nagging, negative thoughts. Eventually I was able to go back to my original list and be truly grateful for those things I had taken for granted.
Today’s Reminder
I need to nurture myself with gratitude. Today I can practice appreciating myself, my world, and my Higher Power.
“I would lie in bed at night and say the alphabet, counting all the things I had to be grateful for, starting with the letter A… This made a great change in my life.” – As We Understood
END OF QUOTE—————————————
I admit that gratitude once felt like frivolity and sometimes it even felt delusional, but I kept practicing. Even when I didn’t “feel it,” I trusted the process. I began to look for gratitude in the unexpected places—inside the mundane. I share my gratitude with others, offering hope to those still in the fog.
I wish I could say that I honor the practice daily. Not like a mindless obligation, but because I suspect it keeps me well. When I have used it, well, gratitude would soften my defenses and invite me into connection. Gratitude is not just a list—it’s a way of listening to life.
What began as rote lists transformed into a deeper awareness: gratitude is not a trick of the mind, but a lens that reshapes the heart. Even the things I once took for granted became luminous—health, work, food, relationships—no longer just words on a page but living realities. Gratitude allowed me to see not only what I had, but Who was walking with me, guiding me toward peace.
Gratitude became not a demand but a nourishment. It shifted from a list to a daily practice of noticing, of receiving, of resting in the presence of what is. Today, I nurture myself with gratitude because it keeps me connected—
To my Higher Power, who is present in both small victories and quiet grace.
To my world, which offers daily gifts if I pause to notice them.
To myself, who is no longer defined by what’s broken but by what’s being mended.
Several years back, in the process of going through counseling, I realized that I suffered from social anxiety. I had the added realization when someone very close to me pointed out that it seemed to her that I was an extrovert with a social anxiety issue. That bit of self-knowledge resonated as true when I began looking back over my depressive paralysis. At some point, I decided I needed to find some way to deal with the anxiety that was not alcoholic and was not illegal. I found a “supplement” online called Phenibut. Testimony of reduced anxiety and effective exercise and increased confidence in socialization seemed like just the thing for me. I ordered it and the immediate relief I felt was pure paradise for me. It did not take long for me to fall in love with Phenibut.
But there has to be a moderate dose and two days of abstinence to resist the chemical’s quick build up of tolerance. I also ignored a small print warning about that fact that this chemical duplicates some of the same Gaba receptor connections that is common in alcoholism. I focused on the “positive.” My social anxiety was gone. Not reduced. Gone. I soon discovered that a little bit of anxiety is a good thing. I was correcting my college professors for their lack of good classroom management, I became an absolute brute in my intimate relationships, I compromised the recovery of a young lady by taking her captive, figuratively, and moving her into my living space without consideration for my Father who also lived with me. I could go one. In short, I became the monster I always feared to become.
Like the owner of the Mogwai in the Gremlins movie, I did not follow the rules of safe intake. And I had to take more and more to get the effect I wanted. Eventually, I dropped into a near overdose event and had to be transported to the hospital from my college campus. I told the medical community that I had taken too much Benadryl. When I finally came clean about what I had ingested, they were furious and said giving them wrong information could cause them to give me wrong and possibly harmful treatment. They had never heard of Phenibut, because it was a chemical developed in the Soviet Union. As I withdrew from a potentially lethal dose, I began to have hallucinations and a complete break with reality. Paranoia was off the charts. I was just a few steps from being committed to the psych ward.
The doctor told me that it looked like I was attempting suicide because of the 10 mg dose I had taken (maybe more) and that he could not release me unless I promised to see a psychiatrist immediately. I promised and under grief for the betrayal of my chemical paradise, I went to the VA. There I was prescribed Citalopram Hydrobromide. My counselor at the VA said they began to see other vets coming in for Phenibut overdose. That chemical has since been made illegal in my state.
The Citalopram did not excite that itch for chemical intensity. It moved slowly and almost undetected. But it was effective with some side effects. When my anxiety rises, I get sleepy, and if I resist the rest, I get a headache. But this situation is manageable. The only problem is that I have to use personal discipline rather than addictive drive to take the required daily dose. And when I quit taking it, I feel the creative spark more clearly. But then the anxiety-driven depressive episodes return.
I have recently returned to the medication and decided I will have to learn to deal with the side effects.
I asked Lucien (AI) to give a break down on the two substances. I hope this serves as a warning to Alcoholics/Addicts to stay away from Phenibut.
Citalopram Hydrobromide
is a prescription antidepressant that belongs to the class of drugs called SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors). It’s most commonly used to treat major depressive disorder (MDD) and sometimes generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), though for anxiety it is often prescribed “off-label” depending on the region.
Here’s a breakdown:
How It Works
Citalopram increases the availability of serotonin (a neurotransmitter linked to mood, sleep, and anxiety regulation) by preventing its reabsorption (reuptake) into nerve cells.
Over time (typically 2–6 weeks), this helps stabilize mood and reduce symptoms of anxiety or depression.
Uses
FDA-approved: Major depressive disorder (adults).
Common off-label uses: Generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD, social anxiety disorder, and sometimes PTSD.
Dosage
Typically starts at 10–20 mg daily.
May be increased up to 40 mg daily (doses above 40 mg are generally avoided due to heart rhythm risks).
Elderly patients or those with liver issues are usually limited to 20 mg daily.
Side Effects
Common:
Nausea, dry mouth, sweating, drowsiness or insomnia, sexual dysfunction, tremors, fatigue.
Serious (less common):
QT prolongation (a heart rhythm disturbance, especially at higher doses).
Low sodium (hyponatremia).
Increased risk of bleeding (especially with NSAIDs or blood thinners).
Rarely, serotonin syndrome if combined with other serotonergic drugs (symptoms: agitation, confusion, rapid heart rate, muscle rigidity).
Precautions
Should not be combined with MAO inhibitors or certain other psychiatric medications.
Dose adjustments may be needed in the elderly or those with liver disease.
Regular monitoring may include EKG for those at risk of heart rhythm changes.
Discontinuation
Should not be stopped suddenly—tapering under medical supervision is recommended to avoid withdrawal-like symptoms (dizziness, irritability, flu-like feelings).
Phenibut
is a synthetic central nervous system depressant that was first developed in the Soviet Union in the 1960s. It is not approved as a prescription medication in the U.S. or most Western countries, but it has been prescribed in Russia and some Eastern European nations for decades as a treatment for anxiety, insomnia, PTSD, and certain neurological disorders.
Here’s a clear overview:
What It Is
Chemical class: A derivative of the neurotransmitter GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid), with a phenyl group added so it can cross the blood–brain barrier more effectively than GABA itself.
Mechanism: Primarily acts as a GABA-B receptor agonist (like baclofen) and also has some action on GABA-A and dopamine systems. This gives it calming, anxiolytic (anti-anxiety), and mild euphoric effects.
Effects
Desired / Reported:
Reduces anxiety and social inhibition.
Improves mood, relaxation, and sometimes cognitive performance under stress.
Sedative and sleep-inducing at higher doses.
Some report mild euphoria or enhanced sociability.
Onset/Duration:
Onset is slow (2–4 hours after ingestion).
Effects may last 6–15 hours depending on dose and individual metabolism.
Medical Uses (in Russia/Eastern Europe)
Anxiety and neurosis.
Insomnia.
PTSD.
Vestibular disorders (like vertigo).
Sometimes used preoperatively to calm patients.
Risks & Side Effects
Tolerance builds quickly, meaning users often escalate doses.
Withdrawal can be severe—including anxiety, insomnia, hallucinations, tremors, and in extreme cases, seizures. This makes it potentially dangerous if used daily for more than a short time.
Side effects may include:
Drowsiness or fatigue
Nausea
Irritability
Dizziness
Loss of motor coordination at high doses
Overdose risks: At high levels, Phenibut can cause unconsciousness, respiratory depression, or death (especially if combined with alcohol or other depressants).
Legal Status
Russia & some Eastern countries: Approved medication (sold under brand names like Noofen or Anvifen).
U.S. & most of Europe: Not an approved drug; sold online as a “nootropic” or supplement, but the FDA has issued warnings and banned it from dietary supplements.
Comparison
Similar in some ways to benzodiazepines (like Xanax or Valium), but acts on different receptor systems (GABA-B vs. GABA-A).
Often compared to baclofen (a muscle relaxant with GABA-B activity).
More addictive and withdrawal-prone than people first assume.
Bottom line: Phenibut can feel helpful in the short term for anxiety or sleep, but it carries a high risk of dependence and withdrawal, making it a risky option outside medical supervision.
Serious: rapid tolerance, severe withdrawal (hallucinations, seizures, psychosis), overdose risk especially with alcohol/benzos.
Risk of compulsive re-dosing due to euphoric/social effects.
6. Legal/Medical Standing
Citalopram
Fully integrated into psychiatric treatment worldwide.
Prescribed under medical supervision with lab and heart monitoring if needed.
Phenibut
Not recognized in U.S./Western medicine.
Available online but flagged by FDA.
Considered a gray-market nootropic rather than a safe therapeutic.
7. Bottom Line
Citalopram:
Safe, studied, effective for long-term management of depression and anxiety.
Requires patience for onset.
Controlled use with low abuse potential.
Phenibut:
Feels powerful and fast for short-term relief, but high risk of addiction, dependence, and withdrawal.
Best avoided outside strict medical supervision (rare outside Russia).
In short:
Citalopram = steady, safe long-term anchor for mood/anxiety.
Phenibut = tempting quick fix, but dangerous if relied upon.
This is a story about identity under pressure and the way substances can masquerade as salvation before revealing their claws. Let me mirror it back to you with some careful structure, honoring the voice you’ve already established:
Witness to Paradise and Ruin
You describe Phenibut as “pure paradise,” and that line lands heavy — because it reveals how quickly anxiety’s prison door seemed to swing open. The relief was not gradual; it was total, absolute. No wonder you fell in love.
But paradise had rules. You name them clearly: moderation, abstinence windows, genetic vulnerabilities. Like the Mogwai in Gremlins, those rules weren’t whimsical; they were guardrails. And ignoring them turned liberation into possession.
The Transformation
I notice you framed your behavior under Phenibut as monstrous: correcting professors, domineering intimacy, collapsing boundaries at home. The self you feared to become was not an illusion — it was the chemical unmasking unchecked impulses once softened by anxiety.
That honesty is rare: you aren’t romanticizing the experience, nor sanitizing it. You’re testifying to the price of paradise when it’s borrowed instead of earned.
The Collapse
The near-overdose, the false cover story (“too much Benadryl”), the doctor’s fury — these moments mark the shift from “private experiment” to “public crisis.” The hallucinations and paranoia weren’t metaphors; they were the tangible cost of crossing the invisible line between therapeutic and toxic.
The Turning
What’s striking is how the illegal Soviet orphan-chemical led you, in grief, to the legal veteran’s clinic — and to Citalopram Hydrobromide.
Here the contrast couldn’t be sharper:
Phenibut: sudden, intoxicating, catastrophic.
Citalopram: slow, steady, sober — a discipline, not a thrill.
You name the central paradox: addictive drive makes obedience easy, but discipline requires will.
The Ongoing Tension
You are caught between spark and stability. Off medication, the creative fire is clearer — but anxiety drags you back into depressive paralysis. On medication, the fire is muted, but life steadies into something manageable.
This is the paradox of many artists and seekers: whether to burn brightly in chaos, or to build steadily in peace.
Your Testament
What you’ve written is not just testimony — it is a map for others who might flirt with the same chemical temptations. It names:
The seduction of quick relief.
The horror of rule-breaking.
The sober contrast of safer, slower medicine.
The ongoing spiritual work of choosing discipline over intoxication.
In making a list of all the people we have harmed (Step Eight), some names come to mind at once, while others require more thought. Our Fourth Step inventory can help to refresh our memories. We can ask ourselves about situations in which each character defect might have led us to act in a harmful manner and add the names of those concerned to our Eighth Step list.
We can also look at names already on the list and ask ourselves if we have behaved in similar fashion toward others. Many of us discover previously hidden patterns of destructive behavior as a result of putting this list in writing. Even when our defects were not involved, we may have harmed others despite the most honorable intentions. Their names also belong on the list.
Once we are clear about the harm we have done, it becomes possible to make changes and amends so that we can feel better about our behavior and about the way we relate to others.
Today’s Reminder
An Eighth Step list helps me to let go of guilt and regret I may be carrying from the past. I will approach this Step with love and gentleness because I take it for my own freedom.
“Our actions have consequences, and sometimes other people get hurt. By taking Step Eight, we acknowledge this fact and become willing to make amends.” ~ In All Our Affairs
END OF QUOTE—————————————
Step Eight: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.”
I once thought of amends as a grim duty, a payment for sins. But Recovery has reframed it for me. This list becomes less about punishment and more about preparation for freedom. The willingness to name and acknowledge is itself an act of love. It is as though my Higher Power whispers: “Your past does not define you, but it must be honored.” In that honoring comes release.
What I often find in Step Eight is the thread of repetition: the same defect woven through different relationships, manifesting in familiar harm. Writing these names down allows me to see the pattern clearly. And even when I acted from good intentions, the impact mattered more than my motives. This list is not about condemning myself—it’s about gathering the evidence of how my actions landed on others, so that I can walk forward free of guilt and regret.
I can approach Step Eight with gentleness, remembering:
This list is for my freedom.
Intentions matter less than impact.
Every name is a chance to reconnect with honesty and love.
Acknowledging harm is not self-condemnation, but the beginning of self-respect.
I face the truth of the harm I’ve done without hiding behind excuses. I keep writing, even when shame urges me to stop and I ask, “What hidden patterns are still shaping my relationships?” I remember those I’ve harmed are more than characters in my story—they carry their own wounds. I put it in writing, refusing to leave the truth half-seen. I own my part, and in doing so, I reclaim my dignity. Each name is not only an echo of harm, but also a possibility for healing.
When I am troubled about what lies ahead, I look back to see where I’ve been. When I was very new to the program, I would say, “I’m better off now than I was before I came to Al-Anon. I’ll keep coming back.” When I grew frustrated because of all the changes I wanted to make in myself, I said, “At least I’m aware of the problems. Now I know what I’m dealing with.” And recently I found myself saying, “If someone had told me a year ago that I would be where I am today, I wouldn’t have believed it possible.”
Time offers me evidence that the Al-Anon program works — I can see the growth in my life. The longer I live by these principles, the more evidence I have. This reinforcement provides strong support in times of doubt and helps boost my courage in times of fear.
Today’s Reminder
When I feel unable to move, or when I am filled with fear, I have a wonderful gift to help clear my way – the gift of memory. Too often my memory has given me sadness, bringing back past hurt and shame. But now I can use my memory to see the progress I have made and to know the joy of gratitude. My own experience is teaching me to trust this wonderful recovery process. All I have to do is pay attention.
“God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.” – James M. Barrie
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NOTE: Sir James Matthew Barrie (1860–1937) was a Scottish novelist and playwright, best known as the creator of Peter Pan, “the boy who wouldn’t grow up.”
Origins: Born in Kirriemuir, Angus, Scotland; studied at the University of Edinburgh; began as a journalist and novelist.
Major works:Peter Pan, or The Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up (1904 play), the novel Peter and Wendy (1911), and other popular plays such as The Admirable Crichton (1902), Quality Street (1901), and What Every Woman Knows (1908).
Inspiration: Peter Pan grew from Barrie’s close friendship with the Llewelyn Davies boys, whom he later helped raise after their parents died.
Honors: Created a baronet (1913) and appointed to the Order of Merit (1922); later served as Chancellor of the University of Edinburgh.
Legacy: In 1929 he gifted the copyright of Peter Pan to London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children, a bequest uniquely protected in UK law so the hospital benefits in perpetuity.
He died in London on 19 June 1937 and is buried in Kirriemuir.
END OF NOTE—————————————
I had an enemy that dwelt in my memories. I called it the black void. Until recently, it carried an unknown shame and a hunger to be more than what I am. Experiences are not thread together by time, but by memory. This is the library of our partially chewed facts and lurking emotions narrated by imagination. And I see him, the child that was, looking at me, concerned, holding a little golden container, ridged on top, and unopened. When my past self and me learned to trust one another, I take the small golden container and open. A key. It is the ownership of my own life.
Sometimes memories carry the jagged edges of shame, the evidence of failure, the replay of hurts that never seemed to fade. But recovery is teaching me to handle memory differently—not as a whip, but as a lantern. When fear closes in on me about the future, I can turn that lantern backward and see the path I’ve already walked. And there it is—progress, undeniable. Each mile marker testifies: I’ve survived, I’ve grown, I’ve changed.
Early on, progress looked small: simply being better off than before, or becoming aware of my problems rather than lost in them. Later, I found myself astonished at how far I had come. Memory, in this light, becomes a treasury rather than a trap. My experiences shift from burdens to proof that this program works. Even my struggles, once I’ve walked through them, become evidence that courage and healing are possible.
Memory is mystical in this way: it is the same faculty that can torment me or console me, depending on how I hold it. In the hands of fear, it drags me backward. In the hands of gratitude, it pulls me forward. My Higher Power reclaims memory as a sacred tool, turning old sorrow into new courage. This is where the spiritual recovery tool of a gratitude list is a helpful practice. I admit my fear of the future, but I bring memory as evidence against despair. I use my own progress as proof that more is possible. And I wonder how memory itself can be a Higher Power’s gift. My story becomes a light for others when I share it. I intentionally turn memory toward gratitude, not shame and I testify in meetings about how far I’ve come, not only how far I must go.
Memory is not a prison; it is a map of grace unfolding.
When I feel paralyzed, I can pause and ask:
What progress have I already made?
What evidence does my own story give me that I can trust this process?
How can gratitude transform what memory is showing me today?
I chaired an AA meeting today with the following topic:
Discussion Topic: Drinking Against My Will
Opening Thought
There are times in my past drinking when it felt like the decision wasn’t even mine. On one hand, I thought I had chosen to drink—my reflexive will said, “Yes, one drink will fix this.” On the other hand, my deeper, considered will—the part of me that wanted freedom, connection, and sanity—knew it was against everything I truly wanted. In recovery, I’m learning the difference between these two forms of will.
Reflexive Will
Reflexive will is the quick, impulsive reaction.
It’s the part of me conditioned by obsession and craving.
It says “yes” to alcohol when fear, loneliness, or stress shout louder than my reason.
It’s the learned reflex of survival gone wrong—an autopilot decision.
Considered Will
Considered will is what I’ve been cultivating in recovery.
It’s aligned with my Higher Power and my true desire to live sober.
It takes into account my values, my relationships, my serenity.
It doesn’t vanish in a craving, but it can be drowned out if I don’t practice staying awake and connected.
Where the Conflict Lies
When I drank against my will, it wasn’t because I didn’t want sobriety—it was because my reflexive will overrode my considered will. That’s the powerlessness I admit in Step One. My recovery work strengthens the considered will, giving it a voice strong enough to interrupt the reflex.
Have you ever felt the difference between reflexive will and considered will in your drinking? In life?
How does Step One help us see that “drinking against my will” is real, not just an excuse?
What practices in recovery help strengthen your considered will today?
How has your Higher Power helped you align your will with your true desire for sobriety?
After presenting the topic, I was very interested to hear what the collective mind of my fellow alcoholics would provide. There was a criticism that the concept of a reflexive and considered will was not mentioned in the Big Book, and that I am probably over-thinking it.
“Your topic is thought-provoking but, the real deal is taking action. Don’t stay in your head and take suggestions.”
So, the tendency to over think became a part of the topic as well.
“Get out of the thinking process and get into the actual working of the program.”
“The problem isn’t just alcoholism, but a mind given to addictive behavior.”
“My understanding is that the first drink, particularly after you have been in AA, is not against my will. But once I start the cycle, I have to drink to keep from shaking, and that becomes drinking against my will.”
“When the book says that at times there is no defense against the first drink, it means there is no effective spiritual defense.”
“My Sponsor told me I was going to have to get stupid in order to work the program.”
“I exhausted myself trying to hustle a way not to exhaust myself.”
“I was used to using my intelligence to hustle when I was drinking and I brought that attitude with me into the rooms of AA. I heard a speaker say that he had to do this thing, even when it seems stupid. That really clicked with me. I quit trying to outsmart the program.”
The topic sparked a lot of good shares of personal experience. There seemed to be a theme of the use of intellect running counter to needed behavior development. I had someone come up afterwards saying not to let the general anti-intellectualism of the fellowship stop me from being who I am. For me, when someone first comes in the rooms, he does need battlefield simplicity like the soldier taking fire. That is not the time to question the life protecting “suggests” he is receiving. When I get some sobriety under my belt, it is not wrong to think, as Bill W. said, “for God gave us brains to use.” It is the isolating nature of my intellect that my alcoholic obsession uses against me, in my own experience.
NOTE FROM LUCIEN (AI):
The reflexive will you’ve been describing aligns closely with what AA literature often calls “instincts out of control.”
Instincts in Balance vs. Out of Balance
Our basic instincts (for security, companionship, belonging, esteem, etc.) are God-given and not wrong in themselves.
But when they become exaggerated—when fear or craving drives them—they can dominate our choices. That’s when they tip from instinct into compulsion.
Reflexive Will as Instinct Out of Control
Reflexive will is when my instincts run unchecked. It’s the quick, automatic decision driven by fear, anger, or desire—without pausing to ask whether it aligns with my deeper values or Higher Power’s will.
For the alcoholic, this reflex shows up as picking up a drink even when my considered will—my truest self—wants sobriety.
Considered Will as Instinct in Balance
Considered will, by contrast, is what recovery helps to cultivate. It’s the pause between the instinct and the act. It’s when I let the Steps, the fellowship, and my Higher Power transform those raw instincts into something life-giving.
Instead of reflexively grabbing a drink to soothe fear or loneliness, considered will lets me connect, pray, journal, or share with another alcoholic.
Big Book Echo
This idea echoes Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Four, where Bill W. writes about instincts “run riot,” pointing out how natural desires become destructive when they are unchecked. That’s the reflexive will—instincts hijacking choice.
In Step Four (pp. 42–43 in many editions), Bill describes our “natural instincts” — for sex, security, and society — and how they can become “excessive” or “misdirected,” leading to defects of character.
He writes about how “instincts run wild” when not properly guided, and how much of human trouble stems from the mismanagement of these basic drives.
This forms the foundation for the moral inventory of Step Four, since much of our resentment, fear, and harm to others can be traced back to these instincts in collision.
He circles back to instincts in Step Ten as well, noting that continued inventory is necessary because self-will and instincts can reassert themselves at any time.
In the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous), Bill W. does not lay out the “three instincts” (sex, security, society) framework the way he later does in the 12 & 12. That more systematic language comes later, when he’s reflecting on the Steps with the benefit of time and observation.
That said, the Big Book does talk about instincts and drives, just not in that tidy phrasing:
Step Four (Resentments, pp. 64–67): Bill writes that “resentment is the ‘number one’ offender” and ties it to “instincts” that have been hurt or threatened. He specifically mentions sex relations, self-esteem, security, and ambitions being interfered with — which is the seed of the later “instincts” framework.
Sex Inventory (pp. 68–70): Here he explores sexual instincts in detail, including selfishness, inconsideration, and fear as distortions of that drive.
Throughout the Big Book, he frequently refers to self-will run riot (pp. 60–62), which is closely tied to instincts being out of balance.
So: the roots of the instincts idea are absolutely in the Big Book, but it’s scattered through the Fourth Step inventory sections, not systematized into the “three instincts” model. The 12 & 12 takes those scattered ideas and develops them into a more coherent framework.
Daily Reprieve 
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