Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of January 21;

Before Al-Anon, I could never tell the difference between what was and was not my business. I felt I had to take care of everyone around me until I couldn’t stand it any more. I usually kept this up until I became physically ill. My body tried to tell me to pay attention to my own needs, but I simply wasn’t ready to listen.

Al-Anon helps me to listen and learn from my body, my soul, and my Higher Power. How do I do it? I try t check in with myself on a regular basis. Am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? If so, I can make a point of stopping what I’m doing long enough to attend to my needs.

When I pay attention to the messages I’m being given, I have a better chance of detaching from other people and situations, should that be appropriate. For me, this is the foundation of serenity.

Today’s Reminder

I no longer have to wait until my health, my financial situation, or my emotional state collapses before paying attention to my needs. Today I can practice becoming more aware of what my inner voice is trying to teach me. I can listen and learn.

“Don’t listen to friends when the Friend inside you says ‘Do this!'” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

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What does self-care look like? My first thoughts are images of a protracted vacation from life, with young island women fanning me on a beach while I read and enjoy the rumbling rhythm of the ocean waves before me.

There are elements of that image that might be true self-care, such as the detachment from the stress of trying to control life and its uncooperative players. Or maybe taking time to reflect and, if the waves represent the care of a Higher Power, finding the serenity of a relationship with the Infinite One. Yet I think it is important to recognize that the sacrifice I have given for others I must be willing to do for me. It takes carved out time to grow spiritually. My sacrifice is to carve away by making plans with this goal in mind. I have been willing to drive others to meetings. Now I must insure that I do this for myself. I have utilized finances to support others, I must be willing to save some for my own future.

My willingness to take care of myself gives permission and guidance for others to do the same, if they so chose. Self-care is probably the most effective thing I can do to benefit those I love.

From Courage to Change of January 20;

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions.” Anonymity makes it possible to leave not only our surnames, but all the labels and expectations with which we have been burdened, outside the Al-Anon rooms. Through our commitment to anonymity we can put aside what we are and begin to know who we are.

As I began to recognize how valuable this spiritual principle already was in my life, I understood why it was so important to protect the anonymity of others, including the alcoholic. If I want the benefits the program has to offer, I have an obligation to extend to others the same respect and courtesy that keep me feeling safe, free from labels, and free to be myself.

Today’s Reminder

In taking my place among the thousands of anonymous individuals who make up the Al-Anon Family Groups, I know that I never again have to be alone. I won’t jeopardize this valuable resource by violating its most fundamental spiritual principle.

“Each person should be able to leave an Al-Anon meeting secure in the knowledge that what he or she has shared will not be repeated.” ~ Why Anonymity in Al-Anon?

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“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” The Twelfth Tradition.

When first I entered the recovery program I saw anonymity as a protective social mechanism to empower me to risk openness. In the beginning, I desperately needed such a safe place.

As time passed I was no longer in need of such sheltering. It became apart of my spiritual development in that it protected Me from me. It protected my connected and empowered spirit from my isolating and self-destructive ego. When I was in a military rehab facility, we expressed the importance of this anonymity by removing our shirts that contained rank, surname, and unit of service. All that was left was the assembled individuals and their stories coming together to heal. No expression of one individual was greater than the other. Anonymity morphs from protective privacy to a love for principles above our own personalities. Anonymity neutralizes the lethal, severed ego of the alcoholic and addictive community.

From Courage to Change of January 19;

Today I seek to become a little more accepting of myself, a little more comfortable in my own skin. Although it is important to recognize and admit my limitations and flaws, only my Higher Power can remove them.

Condemning my imperfections has never enhanced my appreciation of life or helped me to love myself more. Perhaps I can let go of all condemnation for this one day. I will recognize that I am on a spiritual path of self-improvement. Every tiny step I take on that path moves me closer to wholeness, health, and serenity.

If I become impatient with myself, I can examine my expectations. Perhaps I expect recovery to happen over-night. I will take time today to acknowledge my efforts and to trust the process of the Al-Anon program.

Today’s Reminder

Al-Anon is a gentle, healing program. I will remember to be gentle with myself today, trusting that the healing will come.

“Today I can accept myself for what I am because I know that whatever happens, I have a Higher Power and a group of people who will love me anyway. ”   . . . In All Our Affairs

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Through the recovery program, I am dating myself. I am getting to know me better. “To thine own self be true.” I also gain access to classified documents kept secret by my internal agency of self-destruction. These “documents” provide a full awareness and understanding of my flaws. They are kept hidden and if discovered, presented as strengths and unique personality quirks that make me interesting.

Recovery cuts through that crap and then further reveals that I am powerless to overcome my short-comings as an isolated individual.

These identified failings are not license for perfectionism. “Progress rather than perfection.” Perfection is another way to remain isolated.

No, I believe I am in need of short-comings that overpower me when I am cut-off to warn me to connect. Humility is a path toward relationship and when I humbly ask my Higher Power to remove my short-comings, I am actually seeking the intimate involvement of GOMU (God of my understanding) in my life.  A short-coming is removed. I am driven deeper only to discover a previously hidden flaw. I let it become an opportunity to embrace my God. I look around and see others walking, pushing, forging on the highway of destiny seeking union with the Infinite One. We are no longer isolated.