Daily Reprieve

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 77-78)

I made amends to my dad soon after I quit drinking. My words fell on deaf ears since I had blamed him for my troubles. Several months later I made amends to my dad again. This time I wrote a letter in which I did not blame him nor mention his faults. It worked, and at last I understood! My side of the street is all that I’m responsible for and — thanks to God and A.A. — it’s clean for today.

END OF QUOTE

———————————————–

If I focus only on sweeping my side of the street, will the credibility of my cause be lost?  If I don’t diminish the dirt in my life by pointing out the filth in theirs, will I become the world’s scapegoat?  If people want to improve their lives and overcome their own transgressions, watching me take responsibility for mine gives them a nudge to do the same.  If my fellow humans have felt guilty but afraid to deal with the source of that guilt, my act of courage will present the possibility of doing the same.  If others are not moved by my amends, they most certainly will not be won by my vengeful proclamations.  I think it is human nature to desire to give as good as we get.  Thus what we have the habit of sowing into other lives will tend to be what we reap socially.

It is one of my first acts of trust in Gomu (God of my understanding).  It is turning away from a world of relationship wars and woes and embracing potential serenity and happiness.  It is my broom, my side of the street, and my public display of transforming humility.

From September 6th’s Daily Reflections;

. . . except when to do so would injure them or others.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 59)

Step Nine restores in me a feeling of belonging, not only to the human race but also to the everyday world. First, the Step makes me leave the safety of A.A., so that I may deal with non-A.A. people “out there,” on their terms, not mine. It is a frightening but necessary action if I am to get back into life. Second, Step Nine allows me to remove threats to my sobriety by healing past relationships. Step Nine points the way to a more serene sobriety by letting me clear away past wreckage, lest it bring me down.

END OF QUOTE

————————————————–

I resonate with this contribution for the Reflections.  Like the perfection of freshly fallen snow, although tempted, I do not wish to mess it up with my meandering footprints.  I just want to take it in.  Yes.  This is so true.

From September 5th’s Daily Reflections;

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, . . .  (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 83)

When I survey my drinking days, I recall many people whom my life touched casually, but whose days I troubled through my anger and sarcasm. These people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible. The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only “changes for the better” I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.

END OF QUOTE

—————————————–

The untraceable individuals, citizens of my alcoholic past who left no forwarding address, have become symbols of a life I once viewed as acceptable.  Alcohol describes me as one type of person, and Gomu is showing me another.   It is a process of securing my God life over my tragic one.  The attempt to achieve Emotional Balance and Serenity remind me of Bob Lind’s song, Elusive Butterfly of Love.  Yeah, I’m that old.