Archive for July 4, 2025

Endigar 998

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 4, 2025 by endigar

Please check on my new offering on Amazon. Let me know what you think.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0FGQG1Z2D/

Awaken the divine within. Write through the silence. Return to the fire that first called your name.

Rooted in spiritual audacity and contemplative practice, Deep Night Meditations invites seekers, mystics, and recovering souls into a luminous interior journey. Inspired by the teachings of Christ, filtered through the lens of recovery, Jewish mysticism, and embodied truth, this collection of meditations dares to explore the forbidden wisdoms—the “heresies” that may not be heretical at all, but saving.

Each Neztic Meditation is structured with a sacred pattern:

  • guiding aphorism
  • mystical opening context
  • Scriptural echoes
  • And a series of meditative questions to open the soul

Born from late-night vigils and ink-dark reckonings, this book is more than words—it is a portal. A prayer. A resurrection.

Whether you are gathering with others at midnight under the stars, or journaling alone in a quiet corner of your wilderness, Deep Night Meditations is an invitation to transcend conformity, recover your divine image, and awaken the ember of God still glowing in your chest.

This is not a theology to memorize. It is a sacred flame to keep.

Endigar 997

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on July 4, 2025 by endigar

From Courage to Change of Aug 16:

During stressful periods it can be tempting to skip a meal, push ourselves until we are totally exhausted, and generally ignore our basic needs. In the midst of crisis, taking time out for an Al-Anon meeting, a call to a Sponsor, or a breath of fresh air may seem like a waste of all-too-precious moments. There don’t seem to be enough hours in a day, and something has to go. But are we choosing wisely?

At the very time we most need to take good care of ourselves, we are likely to do the opposite. If we decide that our needs are unimportant or that we’re too busy, we sabotage our own best interests. In times of crisis, we need to be at our best. By making an extra effort to get nutritious food, sleep, Al-Anon support, relaxation, and quiet time with our Higher Power, we strengthen ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This can make a difficult situation a little easier.

Today’s Reminder

I am the only one who can make my well-being my top priority. I owe it to myself to pay attention to the needs of my body, mind, and spirit.

“Putting ‘First Things First’ in troubled times often means finding whatever way I can to set aside my burdens, even if just for a moment, to make time for myself.” ~ . . . In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There is a strange cruelty in how I sometimes treat myself in moments of overwhelm. As if the very fire I’m walking through demands I become less human—skip meals, ignore sleep, shut down connection, abandon prayer. And yet, I’ve learned that this reflex is often the voice of my disease dressed up in urgency: “There’s no time for care. You don’t matter right now. Just keep going.”

But I do matter. Especially in crisis.
That’s when the spiritual machinery needs oiling the most.

I’ve come to see my physical body not as separate from my recovery, but as its sacred vessel. A tired mind cannot perceive truth. A hungry soul cannot offer grace. A disconnected heart cannot stay surrendered. If I am to show up with integrity—for myself, for others, for my Higher Power—I must begin by honoring my limits, not defying them.

This is where “First Things First” becomes more than a slogan. It becomes a lifeline.

Maybe it means stepping outside for one unhurried breath.
Maybe it means calling someone who knows the terrain I’m in.
Maybe it means whispering “God, help me” with trembling lips over cold coffee.

Whatever the gesture, it’s a reclaiming of dignity.
Not as luxury. As necessity.

I used to think self-care was selfish. But now I know: neglecting myself in the name of service or survival is just another form of spiritual dishonesty. I owe it to this journey, to my Higher Power, to treat the vessel as sacred. Because when the winds rise, I need a soul strong enough to sail.

So today, I will eat. I will breathe. I will ask for help.
I will not mistake exhaustion for virtue.

Because serenity is not the absence of hardship—it is the decision to not abandon myself in the middle of it.