Endigar 844

From Courage to Change of April 18;

I had spent a lot of time yearning for things I wasn’t gettting from the alcoholic in my life. As a part of my Al-Anon recovery, I was encouraged to put those needs on paper. Courtesty, respect, attention, affection, communication –my list of the areas in which I felt my loved one had let me down went on and on.

My Sponsor applauded my honesty and then suggested that I could bring all the things on my list into my life. The catch: I had to give what I wanted to receive and become what I wanted to attract. Did I present a shining example of courtesy and all the rest? If not, I had a wonderful list of goals already on paper.

I have often heard that we get back what we give, and now I know that it’s true. As I grew kinder and more loving, other people responded to the change. I also felt much better about myself. Today I can honestly say that all the qualites on my list exist in my life at least some of the time. I hadn’t expected these results–or any others, for that matter. I was too busy focusing on myself. I think that’s why it worked.

Today’s Reminder

Today I can take an active role in fulfilling my needs. I can choose to become someone I would want to have in my life.

“Many of us find that as we practice treating others fairly, with love and respect, we ourselves become magnets for love and respect.” ~ . . . In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

My self-awareness is critical for this law of attraction to be effectively rewarding. I have to call time out on life and my survival impulses long enough to get to know who I am and what I truly need. Self-delusion is an embedded survival skill for my co-dependent mind that I must resist.

If I immediately attempt to change my behavior to kindness in order to have kind people around me, I will establish a façade of compassion with no real relationships. It would be my fearful instinct to protect the real me from being revealed in order to avoid rejection.

This painfully challenging process to know the truth about myself/Self must be tackled first. Then I change my behavior to answer my needs. My improved, genuine expression will then give permission to others to do the same.

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