Endigar 776

From Courage to Change of February 13;

Every snowflake is different. Every thumbprint is different. Every person in Al-Anon is different despite the common problem that brings us together.

Comparing myself to others was a defect of character that plagued me all my life and continued during my early years in Al-Anon. I focused on how others seemed to be grasping the program more quickly than I, had the “right” things to say when they shared, seemed more popular. I didn’t like myself because I wasn’t living up to what I believed to be true about others.

Today, just like the snowflake and the thumbprint, I realize that I too have special qualities. I know that my growth in Al-Anon can’t be compared with anyone else’s. I have learned that I can’t judge my insides by others people’s outsides. We’re all doing the best we can. Like every other member of the fellowship, I offer an important contribution to the Al-Anon family groups simply by participating and being myself.

Today’s Reminder 

A Sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am.

“It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is.” ~ Desiderius Erasmus

END OF QUOTE—————————————-

I think it is important to separate our shortcomings from deeper issues that might need to be addressed. What if a “defect of character” turns out to be a buried, suppressed trauma response. The 12 Steps have helped unearth issues I have lived with that have reinforced a great deal of  social anxiety. It is important for me to approach all my transgressions and resentments with confession and a willingness to make amends. When short-comings irrationally persist in the sanity of the program, I must have the humility and compassion for those who love me to seek professional support. The counseling I sought would not have been as effective for me if I had not first worked the 12 Step program.

Social anxiety can take many different forms and resist the helpful intimate connections one needs to find progress toward spiritual freedom. That has been my own experience.

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