Daily Reprieve

From the Daily Reflections of March 02;

Do not be discouraged. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60).

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing that time is a gift, not a threat.

Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for I am on the right road.

END OF QUOTE

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My dichotomy of perspective is frustratingly fascinating to me. Although nothing significant may change in my environment, my shift in emotions and perspective throws me threw the mirror glass, into the home of whatever reflection I was gazing into. For me, hope is always connected with faith in a plan, a process, a course of action. The ultimate results belong to the human collective, and is grafted into the ultimate work of the Infinite One.  When my expectations are guided by my fear of being alone and discounted, then my home is the world of the Infinite No One, the human exile, the futility of work. My expectations have been misdirected into a war with whatever scapegoat my beaten soul can wrap around.

When I am able to believe in the guided destiny of my Higher Power, when I believe in the value of the collective body of humanity, when I can breath and know that my work counts, I can make a plan in my 24 hour circle and I can feel the hope of a new and more powerful life unfolding in and around me. My hope is the life flower of deep roots in the soil where I have been planted.

From the Daily Reflections of March 01;

It works — it really does. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 88).

When I got sober I initially had faith only in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Desperation and fear kept me sober (and maybe a caring and/or tough sponsor helped!). Faith in a Higher Power came much later. This faith came slowly at first, after I began listening to others share at meetings about their experiences — experiences that I had never faced sober, but that they were facing with strength from a Higher Power. Out of their sharing came hope that I too would — and could — “get” a Higher Power. In time, I learned that a Higher Power — a faith that works under all conditions — is possible. Today this faith, plus the honesty, open mindedness and willingness to work the Steps of the program, gives me the serenity that I seek. It works — it really does.

END OF QUOTE

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It is funny to me that in the meeting I went to tonight, the topic was the third step. What is the “It” in “It works?” Let’s put that pronoun in a larger scope, zoom out and see the preceding idea that really works:

What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.

We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. We are careful never to pray for our own selfish ends. Many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn’t work. You can easily see why.

If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one’s priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.

It works – it really does. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 87-88)

The interesting thing is that this passage says that our isolated selfishness, even when coupled with prayer, simply does not work. But, when I recognize that I have freedom with a purpose, that I am responsible for the effort and the God of my understanding is in charge of the results, that I can trust the GOMU to care for the direction of my will energy and the expression of my life, this is the It that works. This God thing works.

From the Daily Reflections of February 28;

When told that our Society has no president having authority to govern it, no treasurer who can compel the payment of any dues, . . . our friends gasp and exclaim, “This simply can’t be. . . .” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 132).

When I finally made my way to A.A., I could not believe that there was no treasurer to “compel the payment of dues.” I could not imagine an organization that didn’t require monetary contributions in return for a service. It was my first and, thus far, only experience with getting “something for nothing.” Because I did not feel used or conned by those in A.A., I was able to approach the program free from bias and with an open mind. They wanted nothing from me. What could I lose? I thank God for the wisdom of the early founders who knew so well the alcoholic’s disdain for being manipulated.

END OF QUOTE

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The ruler of AA first appeared to me as the need to survive. I knew nothing other than self-preservation when I first entered the rooms. I huddled in the sanctuary of abstinence, and said, “take me to your leader, I am in need of asylum, a safe passage to sanity.” I was told to come on in and discover the God of my own understanding. In here, the Spirit of Sobriety will guide you. Trust the process. So I did. My isolated selfishness is being ever transformed to a self-care that manifests in my own personal relationship with GOMU (God of my understanding).

[An Alcoholic’s Paraphrase of Micah Chapter 7, verses 7 and 8]

But as for me, I will look to Gomu,

I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my Sobriety.

My God will hear me.

Rejoice not against me, oh my disease.

For when I fall, I shall arise.

When I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light to me.