Archive for April, 2010

Endigar 260

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on April 14, 2010 by endigar

There is going to come a time, if you live long enough, when you are going to see a father grieving for his broken or mutilated daughter on a Monday after that family spent the day in church, paying tithes, caring for the poor, and praising their God. 

At that time, you will KNOW that God is a mean, ugly, Monster.  At that point, if you are truthful and refuse to close your eyes in a religious stupor, then you will either self-destruct because life’s terms ARE unacceptable,  or you will decide to become a better person than the God we know in this reality.

The cruelty that we play out with one another is often what we have learned from that all-powerful, all-knowing, Meglomaniac. 

Today, I am able to accept my relationship and dependance on the great What-ever, because I value myself.  The fact that I choose to love or be loved by such a Being speaks more for me than for the Higher Power. 

Can you love the great Cruel Bastard, and know that somehow, accepting the fact that God has issues, gives you the freedom to rise above it all. 

Maybe in some other context all this will make sense.  But right now, accepting life on life’s terms includes embracing a Higher Power that will do or allow (omnipotent allowances are the same as doing) horrible things in my life.

Spirituality takes a little bit of masochism to be successful. 

So my attempts to rise above god and religion, to find a truly spiritual path, will be defined by the following five words:

SIMPLE

POSITIVE

CERTAIN

FREE

FUN

We’ll see how this works.

Endigar 259

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on April 13, 2010 by endigar

I am truly grateful to have nine months again.  It is magical.  The colors of the elements are purple and green, AA & CA combined.  And I have decided that I am going to appreciate the fact that I get to be with fellow soldiers this weekend, and quit putting on armour today to face the shadow dragons of tomorrow.  If I make a habit out of hating myself and my life, I cannot help but to hurt those who draw close to me.  If I fear and prepare for evil with each waking breath, that is all I will draw to myself.  I don’t want to live that way.  Great Power, help me to be Simple, Positive, Fun, Free; but most of all, help me to be Certain of my own value.