Endigar 853
From Courage to Change of April 22:
At first, the idea of searching for defects of character, wrongs, shortcomings, and harm I have done can seem like just another excuse to be hard on myself. That’s why it’s so important to concentrate on the first three Steps long enough to develop a strong spiritual foundation.
In these early Steps, we admit the areas over which we are powerless—such as alcoholism and other people—and learn that a Power greater than ourselves has no such limitations. We decide to place our will and our life in the hands of this Higher Power. We let go of burdens that were never ours to carry. And we begin to treat ourselves more kindly and more realistically.
When we move on to later Steps, we do so for our well-being. We begin a process that is immensely rewarding, and we go forward under the guidance of a Higher Power. This enables us to be much more gentle with our recovery.
Today’s Reminder
The first three Steps are the cornerstone on which my progress is built. No matter how long I have been in this program, I won’t hesitate to touch base with the foundation of my spiritual health.
“I now have a goal I can see clearly and the program with which to work toward it. It is my guide to self-improvement, comfort, and a better way of life.” ~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
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When I worked the first three steps, I recognized that a lack of power was a problem that I could not overcome. I recognized that trying to do so had caused me to nurture a disassociation from reality. I had godlike expectations of myself that had driven me into a desperate insanity.
I was introduced to a pragmatic morality and a non-religious construct. Was it a God with no limitations? No. There is far too much unaddressed pain and suffering to believe in such a psychopathic deity. Agnostus Theos. The Unknown God. The Mystery. I have seen patterns of rescue that refuse to violate my own free will.
Whatever I was introduced to wants an individual and interactive relationship with me. If I get guidance, I follow it. If I don’t, I return to the pragmatic morality and remain open. The trust of Step Three is built on the work I do while leaving the ultimate results to the Shrouded One.
NOTE FOR CLARIFICATION’S SAKE: I do not believe that God is a psychopath. It is the concept of taking the 3rd Step surrender because “God is not limited.” That is an unrealistic expectation that sets me up for failure in my relationship with the Higher Power. Miracles are not relevant until they happen, and the Higher Power regularly chooses not to act. I am happy to see a magical intervention, but I do not expect it. The greatest miracles I witness are usually a secret between myself and the God of my understanding.
Daily Reprieve 
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