Endigar 841

From Courage to Change of April 17;

Many of us have had anxious moments at work and around our families when it came to making decisions affecting others as a group. We’d worry, “Will everyone be happy with the decision?” Surely there was one perfect way to do things, and it was our responsibility to find it.

Al-Anon has helped me to develop a simple policy about group decisions, as suggested by Al-Anon’s First Tradition: “Our common welfare should come first.” This Tradition applies to the conduct of our Al-Anon groups, but I find it useful in other siturations, too. If the group’s plans seem designed to benefit the greatest number of people, I can usually support them. I don’t mean that I ignore my own needs and feelings –I express them. But others have needs too, and I must respect them. Such choices may not bring immediate happiness to me or to others, but ultimately we will all benefit. As the First Tradition says, “Personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.”

Today’s Reminder

Do I try to force my will on others in group situations, or am I learning to respect their rights as well as my own? I can feel secure in my opinions if I keep the group’s best interest at heart.

“Unity presents not only the necessary climate for the growth of Al-Anon as a whole but also the atmosphere in which each member within the group may acquire peace of mind.”

~ Twelve Steps and Traditions

END OF QUOTE—————————————


The best group decision I have made is to avoid my tendency to withdraw. The best personal decision I have made for my own welfare while in the group is not to embrace martydom. I am not well versed in achievng that balance of expresive participation and active listening. It takes practice and the development of some intimate trust. But I have gained life-giving support and I desire to reciprocate. I need to be useful within and without to secure the realiity of my own recovery.

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