Endigar 833

From Courage to Change of April 09;

After years of denying my feelings in order to protect myself, detachment (emotionally separating myself from the disease of alcoholism) was fairly easy for me. But it was with indifference. Detachment with love was out of the question!

A major change of attitude began when my Sponsor repeated a line from a play that had helped me understand the need to detach with love: “The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them.” I realized that by detaching with indifference, I might be taking the easy way out.

In Al-Anon I’ve come to feel safe enough to feel my feelings. I no longer need to shut out the love I feel for myself or for the alcoholic in my life. I can see myself as more than my feelings, and I can see the alcoholic as more than his or her disease.

Today’s Reminder

The unconditional love I receive in Al-Anon helps me to rediscover what love is. As I learn that I am consistently lovable regardless of my strengths or limitations, I begin to see something consistently loveable in others, eve those who suffer from an unlovable disease.

“With a change of attitude … past actions can be put into proper perspective; love and respect can become a part of family life.” ~ Youth and the Alcoholic Parent

 

END OF QUOTE—————————————

To know love in the rooms, I must actually be in the rooms as continuously as I can schedule. This is part of the magic of attending 90 meetings in the first 90 days of sobriety or group connection. Being there is the only way to nurture the possibility of experiencing the love of those who most definitely have in common some of my tragic realities.

When I first came into the rooms it was important for me to listen, but I could not let that be an excuse to go mute. I can quickly share a status update and then say that I need to listen. The point of such an exercise is not to allow myself to become invisible, to surrender to my tendency to distance myself.

I require love from others to learn to love myself. Love requires connection. Therefore I find it necessary to risk connection to give and receive the love that heals us all.

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