Endigar 814

From Courage to Change of March 22;

In order to survive in the contradictory and explosive world of alcoholism, many of us learned to ignore our feelings. We lost touch with ourselves without even knowing it.

For example, although I pointed an accusing finger at the alcoholics in my life for deserting me in times of need, I wasn’t a very good friend to myself. In my fear and confusion, I walked away from the little child in me who lived simply, who cried when the cat died and then let it go, who could appreciate a sunset and not want to own it, and who lived one day at a time.

Recovery does not mean that I have to become a different person. It means I need to start being myself again. The lessons I’m learning in Al-Anon are lessons I already know. I just need to remember.

Today’s Reminder

There is an innocence within me that already knows how to trust my Higher Power, to cherish life while holding it lightly, to live fully and simply in the present moment. I will allow that part of myself to come forward and nourish me as I continue on this journey.

“It takes one a long time to become young.” ~ Pablo Picasso

END OF QUOTE—————————————

Reclaiming the inner child and reparenting it can be a confusing prospect. “When I was a child, I talked like a child, thought like a child, reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things…let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” (scriptural splice of 1 Corinthians 13:11 and Matthew 19:14 respectively). I cannot remember ever living simply. I have no reference point. My imagination has always been active but that energy has simmered on the back burners of life’s urgencies. I think I am okay today. I am clean and sober, but that inner child feels like something off the Omen. I keep it locked away most times. I suppose this is an area I am still working through.

 

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