Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of January 30;

Living with alcoholism, I learned that plans could change at any moment and that rules varied accordingly. I developed a deep mistrust of everyone and everything because I could count on nothing.

As a result, I have often found myself jumping at any opportunity without thinking it through. Behind my action was a sense of desperation: “I’d better grab this now — this may be my only chance.” Al-Anon shows me a different approach: I can live one day at a time. I can base my choices on what I feel is right for me today, rather than on what  fear I might lose sometime in the future. I can think before I react t my fears, and remember that easy does it.

If I feel unable to do something today, I trust that there will be another opportunity if it is something I am meant to do. It doesn’t have to be now or never, all or nothing.

Today’s Reminder

Today I don’t have to b e limited by my old fears. Instead, I can do what seems right. I do not have to follow every suggestion or take every offer I receive. I can consider my options and pray for the guidance to choose what is best for me.

“There is a guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word. . . .  Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to trust and to perfect contentment” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Where does my impulsiveness come from? I know there is a desire to escape. I remember using a window in my bedroom as a way to escape my home as a young teen. When I wanted to get away, I would lock my door and climb out, and flee into the surrounding woods. That locked door allowed me a time to strip naked and run wild through the Talladega National Forest, so to speak. It was short bouts of freedom. I always returned home, but how I loved owning a door to my own world.

From these early days onward I have found there is a pattern of retreat and lunge in my life. I would prefer clarity of direction and a calm, unfaltering power to carry it out. At one time in my life I was in Amway. I remember that part of our training was to understand that most people are more motivated by fear of what they will lose than by an opportunity for gain. So I am not alone in this desperate rush.

Al-Anon has given me some self-reflective questions to ask that might help me live freely one day at a time:

1. Have I made spiritual connection today for guidance? For power to live?
2. Since fear mimics the voice of my God, have I made human connections that help me filter that fear and think things through?
3. Have I accepted both the right and responsibility to do what is right for me; Have I relinquished the need to escape in order to fulfill what is right for me?
4.  Am I calm enough to write out a plan as a result of these considerations? Am I taking a shovel to the mountain I want to move? Do I trust my God for the results if I put in the effort?
5. I will fail while trying until I succeed. My plans will be challenged and I will have to adjust. I will only be applauded by most people after I have succeeded. Am I able to live life on life’s terms?

Maybe they will be helpful for you, as well.

This entry was posted on January 30, 2017 at 2:27 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Courage to Change, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.