Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of January 17;

Anyone who watched my interactions with the alcoholics in my life probably would have considered me the crazy one. I was the one who searched from bar to bar, made scenes in public places, and got hysterical over little things. I was also the one who agonized over the alcoholics’s behavior, lied, made apologies and excuses, and resented everything I was doing. Was this same?

Al-Anon was the first place where I ever thought to question my own sanity. I found that I couldn’t overcome the effects of this disease by force of will or reason. As they say, my best thinking got me here. But Al-Anon’s Second Step suggested that a Higher Power could restore me to sanity.

I knew that I felt more rational in an Al-Anon meeting than I did at any other time, and so I turned for help to the Power that seemed to flow through those meetings. From time to time I still have my irrational moments, but I no longer blame my erratic behavior on anyone else. I now know exactly where to turn when I am ready to find sanity once more.

Today’s Reminder

Today I will focus on my own behavior, If it could stand some improvement, I will ask a Power greater than myself for help.

“If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed.” ~ Ancient Chinese proverb

 

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Fear makes me crazy. I have played the part of hero in a story with no narration or plot. Can I stop the self-destruction of those I love? Not without their consent. Isn’t it possible to raise my crazy to a frequency that will override theirs? Doing nothing in the face of perpetual tragedies and humiliations is unacceptable.

Yes, indeed it is. I must work hard. On me.

It seems to me that when I connect with my Higher Power and gain some sanity in my own life, it gives those close to me permission to do the same. I cannot save them, but I can improve their chances by trusting the process of personal transformation through truthful self-evaluation and connecting to a community invested in my sanity, not my crazy.

This entry was posted on May 25, 2016 at 9:56 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Courage to Change, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.