Endigar 730

From Courage to Change of January 04;

When I first found Al-Anon I was desperate and lonely. I yearned for the serenity that others in the meetings so obviously possessed. When members shared about the tools that had worked for them, I paid close attention.

Here is what I heard: Go to meetings and share when you can; work all the Steps, but not all at once — start with Step One; get a Sponsor; read some Al-Anon literature every day; use the pone to reach out between meetings. Gradually I took each of these suggestions and began to see real changes in my life. I began to believe my life could amount to more than a string of painful days to be survived. Now I had resources that helped me to deal with even the most difficult situations. I came to see that , with the help of my Higher Power, I could handle anything that cam to pass and even grow as I did so. In time, the tools and principles of the program helped me gain the serenity I had long desired.

Today’s Reminder

Al-Anon gives me tools I can use to achieve many goals, including serenity, sanity, and detachment with love. And Al-Anon members who share their experience, strength, and hope show me how to put these tools to work in my life.

“Daily vigilance will turn out to be a small price to pay for my peace of mind.” ~ The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage





The tools of Al-Anon and Alcoholics Anonymous are the same. The Steps represent a practical guide for establishing spiritual healing and growth. The one difference I have found is this idea of “detachment with love.” This is not code for abandoning the ones we love when addiction moves in and takes them hostage. The world of the active alcoholic or addict is an inverted life, in which rewards become damning and consequences become a saving grace. This requires those bound to the alcoholic or addict to resist covering or enabling and allow the consequences to come. Detachment for me means to change the focus from the spiritual welfare of the loved addict or alcoholic to my own. It requires that I develop a certain kind of selfishness or aggressive self-care that will insure my own survival and life improvement regardless of what my qualifying addict or alcoholic chooses to do. This means that my heart may break as they reap consequences, but I will live through it. And if they decide to seek the sanity of truthful self evaluation, they will have my life as an example of thriving in the midst of chaos storms.

I am free to love, but I will not let my love be twisted into a call for martyrdom. Even the story of the Messiah is not a story of slaughter embraced but death overcome. I prefer the image of an empty tomb to the exaltation of a device of torture and tyrannical control.

2 Responses to “Endigar 730”

  1. I salute your recovery in Al-Anon, you seem to really have a very healthy attitude to your relationship with the addict in your life. I am the addict, was addicted to cocaine, alcohol, shopping, bulimia, OCD and more. Particularly in the height of my cocaine addiction when I was using 22 hours a day, I was not available for a relationship or even sex. Now I am just turning 11 years clean this month, with all my addictions and mental health problems in recovery I am happier than I have ever been although I am on my own. But I am also confident that this year will bring the first really healthy romantic relationship I have ever had in my life. http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY

  2. Thank-you for that. I appreciate the feedback. May you be prospered.

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