Endigar 493 ~ The “Worth” of Sobriety
From Today’s Daily Reflections;
Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 160)
When I go shopping I look at the prices and if I need what I see, I buy it and pay. Now that I am supposed to be in rehabilitation, I have to straighten out my life. When I go to a meeting, I take a coffee with sugar and milk, sometimes more than one. But at the collection time, I am either too busy to take money out of my purse, or I do not have enough, but I am there because I need this meeting. I heard someone suggest dropping the price of a beer into the basket, and I thought, that’s too much! I almost never give one dollar. Like many others, I rely on the more generous members to finance the Fellowship. I forget that it takes money to rent the meeting room, buy my milk, sugar and cups. I will pay, without hesitation, ninety cents for a cup of coffee at a restaurant after the meeting; I always have money for that. So, how much is my sobriety and my inner peace worth?
END OF QUOTE
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When it is about money, it is never about money. Coin and paper are elements in a very serious game we play. When I chose to surrender the money under my control, there is a spiritual reason. When I withhold by choice or neglect, there is a spiritual reason.
For me, the inability to release the dollar is associated with the powerlessness of a fearful life. I am trained to flinch and react to the urgent rather than deliberately move toward the important. The urgent eats up the important. The good overwhelms the best. There is always something in my head driving me with a primal whip like a captive beast and the Captains of Industry capitalize on that reality.
When I am experiencing spiritual empowerment and the inner peace necessary to focus on and support the most important aspects of my life, I am generous. When I am afraid and feel cut-off, I respond and pay tribute to the most threatening voices in my life. I pay for the cup of coffee at the restaurant because it is enforced by law and the social expectation of a lot of angry people. I do not pay for the coffee in A.A. because it is one place where I am free, even if I am not yet connected. It is a refuge. When I transform from cringing beast to an empowered steward of life, no one will have to guilt me into giving. It will be the product of my new nature. So, my giving habits can be a litmus test to my place in the spiritual food chain. For me, that is the important take-away of today’s daily reflections.
Daily Reprieve 
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