Daily Reprieve

I have 22 amends left from my trip through the steps.  I performed my last amends in January 2009.  July 2009 I was in jail for DUI.  I have since made a re-run on the steps and am left with these same 22 amends.  I am going to make a trip down to Florida this weekend and hope to set some things right, and to get my most horrendous amends completed.  My expectations are low for one in particular.  I grew up with him.  I have seen my hopes for his life replaced with the horror of what he has become.  My own love for him fuels a seething anger and hatred that I feel for few others on the face of this small planet.  If I could die and he would be saved, I would consider it.  It won’t happen.  I simply do not believe that he will ever change.  So all I can do is concentrate on my side of the street.  And there is plenty of my own dirt to deal with there.  This may be the last time I look on his face, if he even gives me that chance.  I will make the effort and leave the rest to the Higher Power to sort out.

This entry was posted on September 3, 2010 at 10:20 am and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.