Endigar 241

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

I don’t know.  Sometimes.  Most of the time I am afraid of making a mistake, doing the wrong thing.  I second-guess. Double-check my motives.  alot.

How does someone become this free?  Can you just decide, screw it, I am going to be happy even if I don’t know how to explain why?  It is my understandering that according to the Big Book, it is the will of the Higher Power, that is, the strong desire of the Higher Power, that we be Happy, Joyous, and Free.  But there are a lot of folks who cannot or will not claim to be HJF.  Does that mean that the will of the Higher Power is limited by the expression of our will?

So wherever the Higher Power is, It has It’s own first step:

1.  I, the Higher Power, am powerless over making people Happy, Joyous, and Free and as a result everything has become unmanageable. 

Something is wrong with that picture.  I think the above strips the HP of omnipotence.  And if you are going to deal with a world full of drunks, addicts, and self-will run riot, you damn sure better be all-powerful.  Let’s try it a different way:

1.  I, the Higher Power, have CHOSEN to be powerless over making people HJF, and as a result everything has become unmanageable.

Hmm. What do you think?  Better?  But the final aspect of that statement does not engender trust.  Why would I want to take step three with an entity that abdicates power for some unknown reason, allowing everything to become unmanageable?  There must be …wait.  Who are you?


“I am HP and I have come to speak for myself thank-you.” 

Ok, but why do you look like Harry Potter? 

“We have the same initials and it is easier to get through airport security this way.” 


“I, the HP, have decided to give you a shot at doing your own isolated disconnected thing if that is what you want.  I will not manage your life but will respond to the needs of the many over the needs of the few or the one.  Outgrow this life, don’t let it trap you.”

You know that “needs of the many” thing came from Star Trek. 

“Well didn’t you just get through saying in a meeting that you get a good deal of your gospel from the Star Trek and Rocky movies?  Besides, do you think you are the only one who has received a visit from Harry Potter?”


“Rick, my friend, get some rest.  Remember that after work, your sponsor wants you to come over for a Big Book study.  He is trying to strengthen connections.”

But am I going to miss Dr House?  He is in recovery too, and I absolutely love what they are doing with this program.  Its going to be rainy too.

“Who do you think stands a better chance at being Happy, Joyous, and Free? – connected Rick, or isolated TV watching Rick?”

“Get some rest.  Connect and watch some real Hogwarts magic unfold.  Better yet, be that magic.  Happy, joyous, and free.”

ok.  Good night, Harry.


2 Responses to “Endigar 241”

  1. sofreelygiven Says:

    When I came into the program I had been a long-time Buddhist practitioner. I was struck by the similarities between the 12 Steps and the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path:

    The Four Noble Truths:

    1. All life contains suffering and unsatisfactoriness
    2. Suffering is caused by craving (for base objects, goals, desires)
    3. This Craving can be eliminated
    4. The key to the elimination of craving is “The Noble Eightfold Path”.

    The Eightfold Path:

    Right View
    Right Intention
    Right Speech
    Right Action
    Right Livelihood
    Right Effort
    Right Mindfulness
    Right Concentration

    The Eightfold path is further broken down into Wisdom or Prajna (Right View, Right Intention,) Ethical Conduct or Sila (Right Speech, Action and Livelihood,) and Mental Discipline, Concentration and Meditation or Samadhi (Right Effort, Mindfulness and Concentration.)

    The cultivation of the path leads to Right Knowledge and Right Liberation.

    My mind was spinning when I entered the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I was confused. Why had Buddhism not cured my Alcoholism? All the elements were there. Now I understand:

    But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly
    armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of
    another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached,
    little or nothing can be accomplished.

    Buddhism is an atheistic “religion”. I don’t believe, either, that this was my problem. The 12 Steps need not be theistic! This power need only be other than self. Right view, intention, speech action, etc., that’s powerful stuff. When these actions are working in my life, I feel power working, particularly when I am practicing the miracle of mindfulness.

    I do have a higher power today, and I choose to call that power God. This, for me, is shorthand for everything the Eightfold Path encompasses. I no longer share about my Buddhist beliefs in meetings. Nor do I share about my Jewish faith. My beliefs today are a melting pot; I have come to find that all roads lead to Mecca. Our book tells us to be quick to see where religious people are right. For so long I was quick to tell you where they were wrong. Who was I to say? Today, of myself, I am nothing.

  2. […] a comment » I wrote this as a reply to a post in Daily Reprieve.  I am reposting it here for a […]

Leave a Reply to g*d « Building up what has been torn down… Cancel reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: