Endigar 235

There is a poem written by Oriah Mountaindreamer called the Invitation.  Her site is [http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/].  My daughter had it up in her room.  I have it up in my kitchen now.  I have decided to take that poem as a challenge to take another kind of personal inventory. I don’t really know where this is going.  I am not sure why I am going here, except for the birthday dilema that my slave founds herself in, approaching an age milestone that causes you to review…everything.  So here I go:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

 

My tarasha, happy birthday.  Or contemplative conception day.  Or, just know that the heart of your Master is with you, day.

One Response to “Endigar 235”

  1. sofreelygiven Says:

    I want to know if you can be alone
    with yourself
    and if you truly like the company you keep
    in the empty moments.

    The questions posed here are bold and difficult to ask, but I know that I can answer this last one with certainty: today I do like the company that I keep when I am alone with myself. This is such progress for me, someone who never felt comfortable in her own skin. Thank you for posting this, it is powerful and sublime.

    r

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