Endigar 76

Question 11:  Have you developed the ability to intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle you?

I would have to say absolutely YES.  I feel like I have stepped over the intuitive obstacles of religion and fear, the primary voices of my lower power.

My slave said that I am starting to sound like a preacher.  yikes!  I have had people assume that I am a preacher because I was ordained for a short time in a store front church.  That was a galaxy far, far away.

The recovery program did not give me a Higher Power, it gave me the freedom to seek and the imperative to find.  That is apparently all I needed.  The doctrinal baggage nearly killed me.  My Higher Power is not definable in my current state of existence, I do not believe.  I am at peace with that fact, and I am also at peace with the fact that this entity doesn’t give a dam about how I reach out, just the fact that I do.  He-She-It cares about me.  That’s all I need to live and to receive intuitive guidance.  I could be Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, Wiccan, Pagan, or some individualistic blend that helps me to be comfortable in my own skin.  There is no more “Us and Them” for me.  If you want to be the best You there is, there is a force in the universe that shouts AMEN to that desire. 

That is what I have found, and what has kept me sober this past year, and resurrected my spiritual life that died in the year of fuck-it, 2003.  I am a deeply grateful heretic.

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