Endigar 1042
From Courage to Change of Sep 23:
One of my character defects is to respond in kind to behavior that is directed at me – to react to insults with more insults, to rudeness with rudeness. I never thought to act any other way until I began traveling to work with a long-time member of Al-Anon. Each day, when my friend would stop to buy the morning paper, the person behind the counter was surly and hostile. No matter how rudely she was treated, my friend consistently behaved with courtesy. I was outraged! Doesn’t Al-Anon tell us we don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior? Finally I asked her about it.
She told me that, since this is the only newsstand around, she would rather detach from the behavior than do without her morning paper. She explained that she is powerless over other people’s attitudes, but she doesn’t have to permit them to goad her into lowering her own standards for herself. To the best of her ability, she chooses to treat everyone she meets with courtesy. Other people are free to make whatever choices they prefer.
Today’s Reminder
Today I will “Let It Begin with Me.” I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior; I can begin by refusing to accept it from myself. I can choose to behave courteously and with dignity.
My freedom and independence do not depend on any acts of defiance or confrontation. They depend on my own attitudes and feelings. If I am always reacting, then I am never free.
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I admit that revenge never satisfied me—it just poisoned me deeper. I do want to keep showing up to practice a new response, even when the old one whispers loudly. Is it possible to choose courtesy even when it’s misunderstood as weakness? What happens if I don’t retaliate? Can dignity be its own reward? I pause, breathe, and pray before answering building distance between stimulus and response.
The skill of freedom developed in recovery isn’t about fixing rudeness in the world; it’s about unfastening the hook it sets in my heart. My Higher Power invites me to stop mirroring chaos and instead become a mirror of grace. Sometimes that means silence, sometimes courtesy, sometimes walking away—but always grounded in the truth that my reactions do not own me.
Al-Anon gives me practical tools to live this out. Detachment with love. Let It Begin with Me. These aren’t slogans for the wall—they are keys to unshackling my spirit. My independence doesn’t come from confrontation or withdrawal. It comes from the daily practice of aligning my attitudes with recovery, not with resentment. Freedom, I discover, is not rebellion—it is responsibility for my own inner weather. That was new to me: strength defined not by control over others, but by stewardship of my own spirit.
Daily Reprieve 
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