Daily Reprieve

From Courage to Change of Aug 01:

I came to Al-Anon to discover how to get a loved one to stop drinking, hoping that my life would then return to normal. In Al-Anon I came to understand that I did not cause alcoholism, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it. But I can apply the Twelve Step to my own life so that I can find sanity and contentment whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. This is why, in Al-Anon, the focus must be on me.

I soon discovered that I had problems of my own that needed attention: I had undergone some unhealthy changes as I attempted to cope with the disease of alcoholism. These changes had occurred to slowly and subtly that I had not been aware of them. I shared openly about this in Al-Anon meetings and became willing to let go of attitudes that no longer seemed appropriate. With the help of my Higher Power, I began to she self-destructive habits. In time I felt I had regained my true self. I began to grow again.

Today’s Reminder

I do not respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me; why have I tried to impose my will on those around me? There is only one person I am responsible for, and that is me. There is only one person who can make my life as full as possible – that, too, is me.

“Today I will keep hands off and keep my focus where it belongs, on me.” ~ . . . In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

When I first came to Al-Anon, I was bargaining with God.

Just help them gain sobriety and sanity. Then everything can go back to normal.
That was my silent prayer. That was my illusion.

But recovery, like truth, does not bargain. It gently dismantles the scaffolding of denial, one beam at a time, until I’m standing alone in the clearing. And there, I saw it:
The obsession to solve life with chemicals wasn’t the only problem.
I had changed, too.

I had become someone I didn’t recognize—tensed up, hyper-vigilant, consumed with fixing, managing, anticipating. I thought I was helping. I thought I was strong. But I was bending in ways that were breaking me.

Al-Anon didn’t offer me a formula for saving anyone else. It offered me a mirror. And for the first time, I looked into it not to judge, but to see—with honesty, with humility, and eventually… with grace.

That’s when the shift began.

Not overnight. But in layers. Like molting skin, old habits and roles began to slough off. In Something simpler emerged.
Something closer to the me I had misplaced.

And I began to grow again.

That phrase—the focus must be on me—used to sound selfish. Now I know it’s sacred. Not because others don’t matter, but because I do. Because sanity and serenity can’t grow in soil poisoned by control and codependence.

And here’s the hard truth I’ve had to face in Step Work and in silence:
I don’t respond well when someone tries to impose their will on me.
So why did I believe it was love to do that to someone else?

I let go. Not with bitterness, but with reverence. I keep my hands off other people’s journeys and place them gently on my own heart. That is my territory. That is my sacred ground.

Because there is only one soul I am truly responsible for. And when I take that responsibility seriously—not as burden, but as blessing—I become whole again.

This entry was posted on June 12, 2025 at 5:01 am and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, blog, Courage to Change, Journal, Life, love, mental-health, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.