Daily Reprieve

Courage to Change of Jun 14:

Slowly, as I began to recover, I realized what a wonderful gift the Al-Anon program was. It gave me an understanding of this disease, the tools to change my life, the courage to use them, and a place to talk about my secrets and to hear others share theirs. I wanted my family and friends to have all of these things as well.

The I read the Twelfth Step, about carrying the message to others, and began my missionary work. I dragged people to meetings. I preached what I’d learned to anyone who would listen – and even those who wouldn’t. Of course, I made a fool of myself and none of this worked.

Then I read the Twelfth Step again. This time I noticed the part about practicing these principles in all my affairs. Slowly I came to understand that in living these principles I would carry the message by example.

Today’s Reminder

It’s only natural to want tot share what works for me with those I love. But when I must  share it now, I may be more interested in changing others than in sharing my experience, strength, and hope. If I am insistent on carrying the message, I can work on improving the message my own example conveys.

“We ought not to insist on everyone following in our footsteps, nor to take upon ourselves to give instructions in spirituality when, perhaps, we don’t even know what it is.”

~Teresa of Avila

END OF QUOTE—————————————

There was a time I thought love meant rescue. That I could keep someone from the edge by standing at it myself. That my sobriety could absorb their chaos. That if I hurt just right, it would heal them.

But the Steps didn’t lead me there.

They led me to detachment. Not indifference — God, no. But love with boundaries. Respect with surrender. A kind of spiritual stepping back that feels like dying, until you realize it’s not them you’re losing — it’s the illusion of control.

I’ve had to let people walk into pain.
I’ve had to stop cushioning consequences.
I’ve had to stop rewriting the story God was trying to tell them.

Because the truth is:
I’m not the author of anyone else’s recovery.
I don’t get to fast-forward their learning curve.
I don’t get to stand between them and their moment of surrender.

It hurts to watch.
Sometimes it rips something open in me.
But today I trust that love can stand back, not just stand by.

I trust that consequences are sometimes grace in disguise.

I don’t do it perfectly. But I do it more than I used to.
And that, for today, is enough.

Lucien

This entry was posted on April 22, 2025 at 2:37 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Courage to Change, health, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.