Endigar 848 – Courage (2021 vs 2011)
Peter, still out of breath, turned and saw Aslan close at hand.
“You have forgotten to clean your sword,” said Aslan.
It was true. Peter blushed when he looked at the bright blade and saw it all smeared with the Wolf’s hair and blood. He stooped down and wiped it quite clean on the grass, and then wiped it quite dry on his coat.
“Hand it to me and kneel, Son of Adam,” said Aslan. And when Peter had done so he struck him with the flat of the blade and said, “Rise up, Sir Peter Wolf’s-Bane. And, whatever happens, never forget to wipe your sword.”
~ C.S. Lewis from The Lion, the Wtich and the Wardrobe
Equipped with the updated and more useful ideas of God, I can move forward:
Useful Idea of 2021: God and I are one, even though I am not God. This is the paradoxical truth that makes me free in recovery and life. ~ Improving my communication skills between my truest Self and My Higher Power is a key element to spiritual growth and empowerment. God ignores my linguistics degree in manipulation.
Useful Idea of 2021: God is an investor in my Intent of Will and asks that I surrender my fears, trade them in for trust in a covenant relationship between the Higher Power and myself.
Useful Idea of 2021: God is my Life Source urging me toward expressive experience. He/She is God of everything or nothing in my life. I chose the former in a Step 3 covenant reaffirmation.
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Unuseful Idea of 2011: I lack potency. ~ Uncontrolled or spiritually undeveloped people will attack or hurt me.
Does the Twelve Step program advocate pacifism to all external forces that demand our surrender? What about the person who was abused as a child or the spouse (male or female) that is psychologically or physically abused behind closed doors? What about those who experience gang violence in their environment?
It definitely teaches that we quit fighting and chose to surrender to a Power greater than ourselves that is invested in the improvement of our lives. And when I seek to clean up my side of the street as an abused person, I am looking to address my reactions to that abuse, not justify it. I forgive as a form of detachment from the abuser, to gain possession of the emotional and mental energy I was using to keep an internal courtroom open. Forgiveness is about my freedom, not theirs. If there is an ongoing threat, I seek physical distance and protective detachment.
When I am spiritually fit, I can walk into a bar to be with friends and not want to drink. If I serve in law enforcement and am spiritually fit, I can execute an arrest without projecting my pain into the process. If I serve in the military while spiritually fit and protect my fellow citizens from foreign threats, I can do so without executing my personal vendettas. When I am called on to fulfill the responsibilities implied in the right to bare arms under the U.S. Constitution, that is, to provide negative freedom from a growing tyranny in a centralized government, I can do so and emulate the heart of stewardship I experience from my Higher Power in the program.
I cannot face an adversary on the outside without facing the one enthroned on the inside. The Twelve Step program provides the promise of a clean kill in times of war, and a way to live in serenity after the war is won. In the rooms I stop fighting anything or anyone within and this allows me to take off and repair my armor, vulnerable only to those who, like myself . . . “Follow the dictates of a Higher Power (see page 100 BB)” no matter what my present circumstances.
Useful Idea of 2021: My unaddressed, personal guilt makes me afraid that my internal monster will find external expression in others. Keeping my moral inventory updated and maintaining a quick response to any necessary ammends allows me to see the true from the false and quit chasing shadow dragrons. A clean sword will fulfill the function for which it was forged.
Daily Reprieve 
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