Endigar 798

From Courage to Change of March 6;

Al-Anon has helped me realize that no one readily knows what is in my heart, mind, and soul. I can’t expect my needs to be met unless I first explain what those needs are. Nor can I expect any one person to meet all those needs, even if I make them clear. If the first person I ask for help is unable to provide it, I can ask someone else. This takes the pressure off all of us.

Before I began my Al-Anon recovery, I expected those closest to me to know what I was feeling without my telling them. When I was angry and wanted to argue, I silently fumed. When I was hurt and wanted comfort, I pouted. When I wanted attention, I talked non-stop. I couldn’t understand why I rarely got the responses I expected!

I no longer expect anyone to read my mind. I also accept that I can’t read the mind of a loved one. Today I treat the people in my life with more respect because I am learning to ask for what I need and to encourage others to do the same.

Today’s Reminder

Help, comfort, and support are available to me. I am willing to reach out for what I need today.

“. . . I cannot expect anyone to help me unless I am willing to share that I need help.” ~ . . . In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————

 

Needs. Air, Food, Water, and Shelter. These are the basic, common, and critical needs of all animals – the human included. Any quick appraisal of another’s living condition will reveal the deficit of one or more of these needs. It is not as simple when I explore the inner life of the individual. If my body is in need of energy, my genetic memory may send me on a search for true sugars. Yet I live in the post modern world where processed sugars abound and is interpreted by my body as a potential energy source. My genetic memory does not filter out the accumulative toxicity of this relatively new source of energy. The ancient mind is primal and simple.

I am sapient and have moved beyond the primal simplicity of my ancestors. My internal needs have become as critical as the basic ones, and yet far more difficult for me to clearly define. The array of options to answer all my needs overwhelms my genetic memory. The impulse of the beast is just as likely to produce road kill as it is to render victory. It thus becomes imperative to know myself, from animal to spirit, and this takes time and self-reflection. How can I present to others my needs when I have taken little or no time to know what they truly are? This is my first sapient need: To know myself. Socrates is quoted as saying “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” And in recovery we are fond of quoting from Shakespeare when we say “To Thine Own Self be True.” The rest of that quote is “…”And it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst then not be false to any man.” Honesty is the fruit of knowing myself. It is the true sugar my soul needs to feed upon to empower the search to fulfill my actual needs.

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