Endigar 793

From Courage to Change of March 1;

Sometimes knowledge isn’t all it’s cracked up tp be. Naturally it can be helpful to look at past experiences for information about ourselves and our relationships. There is much to be learned from inventories, memories, and reasoning things out with others. But waiting for insight can become an excuse to avoid action.

For example, some of us fall into the trap of trying to analyze alcoholism. We don’t want to accept the reality of our circumstances because we haven’t yet figured out the rhyme and reason of it. The fact is that alcoholism is an illogical disease; we may never fully comprehend it. Nevertheless we have an obligation to ourselves to accept the reality in which we live and to act accordingly.

Others want to ignore the spiritual nature of the Al-Anon program, waiting for a clear and comfortable understanding of a Higher Power. Many of us never attain that clarity, yet we manage to develop rewarding relationships with a Power greater than ourselves by taking the action and praying anyway.

Today’s Reminder

Information can be wonderfully enlightening, but it is not the answer  to every problem. I will be honest about my motives today.

“If you understand, things are just as they are; if you do not understand, things are just as they are.” ~ Zen proverb

END OF QUOTE—————————————

My sponsor would warn me of giving way to the “paralysis of analysis.” In subsequent readings I also discovered that those who suffer from chronic depression have a life-long habit of rumination. They would spend a great deal of time rotating thoughts over and over in their cranial caverns led by some vague hope of acquiring knowledge; mental nuggets that would prevent the reoccurrence of pain and impotence in their lives. This I have been all too familiar with. The first few hours of my day have always been devoted to this quest forged in hell. This was the source of my procrastination in breathing, the source of my tardiness to fulfill awaiting duties, and the risk of taking the inventory of the 12 Step program and turning it into morbid self-reflection.

I have not been able to stop doing this, but I have been able to limit it long enough to experience the advantage of taking action and getting away from my solitude when I realize that I am in a self-imposed coma. In fact, the continued participation in the 12 Step program these days serves to counter this old nemesis as much as it is to counter my co-dependence and addiction. It is getting better. One day at a time.

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