Endigar 787
From Courage to Change of February 24;
Isn’t it exasperating to go to the grocery for an item, only to find the shelf empty? Fortunately, grocers can correct that situation by taking inventory to learn which shelves need replenishment.
The same is true for me. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates my own empty spaces, my shortcomings. This doesn’t have to be a painful or scary experience. I don’t have to pass judgment on an empty shelf, but unless I take the time to become aware of it, I won’t do anything to fill it, and the problem will continue. By taking inventory, my empty spots can be filled with the help of the remaining Steps. I experience the healing power of these Steps whenever the formerly hurtful circumstances recur while the pain that I once felt does not.
Today’s Reminder
When I can’t find a solution to a problem, when I have nagging doubts, fears, or frustrations, when I feel lost or confused, a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself can make a tremendous difference. Whenever I work the Steps, I tell my Higher Power that I am willing to heal, to find a solution, to feel better. The energy that would have been dumped into worry, tears, and obsession can be turned into positive action.
“We all wish good things to happen to us, but we cannot just pray and then sit down and expect miracles to happen. We must back up our prayers with action.” ~ Freedom from Despair
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I have seen a pattern in the 12 Steps that has been helpful for me. Maybe it will be for you as well, dear reader. I see three primary life changing foci of my work in the Steps: Paradoxical Power from Powerlessness (Steps 1 – 4/5 – 10), Transformation via Spiritual Relationship (Steps 2 – 6/7 – 11), and Mission Execution through Covenant (Steps 3 – 8/9 – 12).
Paradoxical Power from Powerlessness: This process starts with identifying powerlessness in a specific area of my life, and seeing our Higher Power use it as a channel of empowerment. It often feels humiliating to look at our deficits, but it is this developed skill that opens the conduit of power in our behalf.
Transformation via Spiritual Relationship: I see this as a process that makes me a worthy carrier of the power I am gaining in the previous one. I am being transformed into someone who cares about others, has self-esteem because I do estimable things, and who gains a greater awareness and communication with my Higher Power. I can begin to recognize the invisible force of the loving Entity of the God of my understanding. The inventory taking of this program is an essential practice to pinpoint areas that prevent my transformation.
Mission Execution through Covenant: From my understanding of past spiritual training, a covenant is much more than an agreement. It was the death of separate individuals to create a new supernatural union. This was symbolized in Old Testament with the slaughter of an animal that represented the separate individuals. After its death, the animal is cut in halves and the participates walk between them. The resulting union was expected to hold greater weight than any business contract or political treaty. The idea that what is mine is yours and vice versa comes from this ancient concept. It was the foundational teaching of marriage covenant and I suspect the true importance of losing virginity in marital consummation – the severing of halves and the shedding of blood.
Step three is the beginning of this process and Step 12 is the completion of it. I gain greater confidence in the reality of my covenant arrangement with my Higher Power when I am able to execute GOMU’s heart to other sufferers. I depend on this covenant for the direction of my will which is empowered by the initial process, and for the care of my physical life and well-being.
This is what I see. It is helpful to me. The inventory process is not a matter of beating up on myself. I seek out my short-comings in anticipation of a transformed, powerful life walking in union with the Infinite One who loves me deeply while honoring my free will.
Daily Reprieve 
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