Endigar 773

From Courage to Change of February 10;

One of the effects of alcoholism is that many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires. In Al-Anon we learn to know, appreciate, and express our true selves. Creativity is a powerful way to celebrate who we are. It is spiritual energy that nourishes our vitality. It is a way to replace negative thinking with positive action.

Every one of us is brimming with imagination, but it often takes practice to find it and put it to use. Yet anything we do in a new way can be creative — building a bookcase, trying a new seasoning on a vegetable, taking a new approach to handling finances, finger painting, problem-solving, tapping out a rhythm on a tabletop. Creative energy is within us and all around us, whether we are writing a masterpiece or folding the laundry.

Every original act asserts our commitment to living. Our program encourages us to acknowledge our achievements and to live each day fully. When we create, we plant ourselves firmly in the moment and teach ourselves that what we do matters.

Today’s Reminder

Today I will make use of the precious gift of imagination. Thus I will turn away from negativity, self-doubt, and fear, and celebrate life instead.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

END OF QUOTE—————————————-

I agree that there is release to be gained in creative expression. That is one of the major reasons I started writing this blog. Yet, I do not think it is because it helps me turn away from the more negative emotions. I believe it to be another tool I use to process these emotions without getting lost in morbid self-reflection. My life in recovery is not about positive thinking but healthy processing of the entire spectrum of my emotions.

I painted this during a time when I was having great difficulty processing the pain of my post-marital apocalypse. It captures both the destructive and surprising force of the dismantling of our home, as well as my own unjustified exile. I felt that I was betrayed and experienced a family man’s form of rape; to become a disposable, visiting father. Although the wound is still there, I process it differently in recovery. The event hurt every member of my family and we all processed it uniquely. Although my former wife and I are not as close, I count here as a friend. My children are young adults now and I am proud of them. I would much rather live in a world of love and forgiveness than to be chained in an eternal state of fearful vigilance.  My life in recovery is about processing difficult emotions and to chose to celebrate life one day at a time. I do not shut the door on my past but hopefully turn it into something useful and ultimately beautiful.

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