Endigar 765

From Courage to Change of February 03;

As a newcomer to Al-Anon, I heard that the principles of the program could lead to serenity. I’d have preferred to hear that the program would cure the alcoholic, undo the damage of the past, or at least pay the gas bill. My idea of serenity was sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin on my face, not caring very much about anything. I was more interested in passion!

Eventually I realized that serenity didn’t have to strip me of my passion. Instead, it offered me a sense of inner security that freed me to live my life as fully and passionately as I pleased, because it tapped into an unlimited source of energy and wisdom: a Higher Power. I could make strong choices and take risks because, with this help, I was better able to deal with anything that happened.

Nothing can compare to the drama of exploring my full potential as a human being. Once I had a taste of the rich life that could be mine with the help of Al-Anon and my Higher Power, I discovered that serenity was a great treasure.

Today’s Reminder

Today I seek serenity, knowing that when I am serene, I am capable of becoming more fully, and more passionately, myself.

“Without this program I could not have appreciated how truly wonderful my life can be in spite of difficult situations.” …In All Our Affairs

END OF QUOTE—————————————-

I can’t explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb –

Lyrics from the Pink Floyd song, “Comfortably Numb”

It seems to me that for every useful empowerment of this or any program of spiritual development, there is a shadow cast from that God-given tool that stretches across the fear-laden minefield of living with someone’s addiction related disease. The tool of serenity is necessary for open communication with my Higher Power and for learning to associate my free living with who I truly am instead of linking it to the icon of what I think I should be. That icon is something a fearful child constructed and a young adult invested in at great cost to protect. The icon is not me. It is detached from my pain and pleasure. It knows neither defeat nor victory. This all-consuming armor allows me to tolerate the unacceptable.  It allows me to live a life of pointless self-sacrifice. This numbness is the shadow of serenity.

The process of moving from the shadow of stoic detachment to the substance of serene confidence is often painfully messy. I seriously doubt that I could have made that transition without the support of those vested in my higher good. It takes my daily commitment to retain it. Possessing this serenity allows the real me to live freely and walk with confidence in the presence of my God, the GOMU (God of my understanding).

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