Endigar 763

From Courage to Change of February 01;

I thought that if I stopped enabling the alcoholic in my life, the drinking would stop. When the drinking seemed to get worse instead of better, once again I thought I had done something wrong. I was still trying to control alcoholism and its symptoms. Al-Anon helped me to learn that I am powerless. I cannot stop an alcoholic from drinking. If I choose to stop contributing to the problem, I do so because it seems to be the right thing to do, something that will help me to feel better about myself.

When I change my behavior, the behavior of those around me may also change, but there is no guarantee that it will change to my liking. Today I am learning to make choices because they are good for me, not because of the effect they might have on others.

Today’s Reminder

It is hard to stop acting as I have in the past. But with Al-Anon’s support, I can be the one to break the pattern. I can choose to do what I think is right — for me.

“You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life. . .” ~ Jane Seymour

END OF QUOTE—————————————-

guilt

What does it mean to do something to help me “feel better” about myself? How do I know that the something I chose to do to feel better about me is the right thing to do? I have stopped myself from intervening in situations that I was powerless over and yet have not felt good inside. Guilt bubbles would belch upwards as I sat locked in concern for my loved one. I believe that Al-Anon teaches me to consider how much of my moral conscience has been replaced with survival indoctrination. It is going to take time to tell what is right for me to do as I work the Steps to understand who I truly am and what it actually means to do the right thing. Telling myself I have the freedom to do what is right for me is both an event and a process. What I have experienced is that when I abandon martyrdom and embrace personal fulfillment, I empower through example those close to me to do the same. This permission via example is one of the best gifts I can pass on to those I love who struggle.

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