Endigar 739

From Courage to Change of January 12;

Early one morning I stopped to watch a colony of bees. A little intimidated by the frenzied motion and intense buzzing, I reminded myself that if I didn’t poke my nose into their hive, I wouldn’t get stung. If I hose to maintain a safe distance from a dangerous situation, I would be fine.

To me, that is exactly the lesson that detachment teaches. The choice is mine. When I sense that a situation is dangerous to my physical, mental, or spiritual well-being, I can put extra distance between myself and the situation. Sometime this means that I don’t get too emotionally involved in a problem; sometimes I am physically leave the room or end a conversation. And sometimes I try to put spiritual space between myself and another person’s alcoholism or behavior. This doesn’t mean I stop loving the person, only that I acknowledge the risks to my own well-being and make choices to take care of myself.

Today’s Reminder

Now I know how to end an argument by simply refusing to participate, to turn to my Higher Power for help with whatever I’m powerless to change, to say, “No,” when I mean no, and to step back from insanity rather than diving into it. Detachment is a loving gift I continue to give to myself and to others.

“If a man carries his own lantern, he need not fear darkness.” ~ Hasidic saying





Divorce. Exile. Isolation. Renunciation. Escape. Disassociation. . .


It is difficult to escape the damming connotations of the word detachment when the strategy of withdrawing from a volatile situation is not necessarily associated with well-being and gifts and spiritual lanterns. At times, it even seems cowardly.

Add to the mix that I am creating safe distance from someone I deeply love and the strategy becomes unbearable.

When dealing with a loved one’s choices that appear to be self-destructive and personally painful, I tend to fall into the choice of being a tyrant with intervention or fall prey to a victim’s world view. I believe detachment is an attempt to provide a third option.

This third option of detachment is not something easily navigated and should not be undertaken in isolation. I have to stay connected with a network of people who are invested in my higher self. In fact, I believe detachment in one relationship area should be balanced with attachment to others.

It is a work in progress for me not to stir the beehive nor grow apathetic to the taste of honey.


Artwork: Angry Blue

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