Endigar 691 ~ A Glorious Release

From the Daily Reflections of February 5;

“The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.’s program as enthusiastically as I could.”  (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 27)

After years of indulging in a “self-will run riot,” Step Two became for me a glorious release from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey now. Someone is always there to share life’s burdens with me. Step Two became a reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to one with far broader shoulders than my own.

 

END OF QUOTE

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Schizoaffective-Disorder

The link between ego and sanity does not surprise me. The ego is merely my sense of self. When it is buffeted in the interactive world, it is shaped into a form that works well in the community of humans. Trust and humility sharpen its ability to cooperate. The malleability of the ego in childhood and adolescence hardens in the furnace of adult life. When distrust severs the interaction of the ego, a shell of protective pride allows it to develop out of proportion to the individual life it was designed to guide and many internal mutations develop.

The process in the 12 Step Fellowship is the breaking of that shell and the rejection of the mutation in favor of something new. This psychic change defies an explanation that I am satisfied with. I have seen it happen in the rooms of AA, and I am surprised when I see that it has happened to me.

Image Credit: Human Metamorphosis by Taylor James

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