Endigar 677 ~ Having Fun Yet?

From the Daily Reflections of January 23;

. . . we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 132).

When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously — and finding it difficult to admit that I’ve strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program — a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate — are well worth the effort.





The phrase from this contribution that grabs me is, “I am free to assume my proper role in the universe.”  This is both a statement of humility and faith. I like it.

I asked myself several questions this morning:  Am I thinking about how to construct my life, or how to construct my day? I find that when I am trying to control the outcome of my life, I begin to suffer from the paralysis of analysis. Developing a habit of living the best day I can establishes a foundation for a better life. Am I lost in complexity or moving in simplicity? This is usually a measure of how well I have done in trusting God and not surrendering to my fears. The acidic anxiety of my gut is the birthplace of complicated, confused thoughts.  Are my long term plans conducted in isolation or in counsel with the significant others in my life?  This is key in identifying whether I am clinging to isolated selfishness that will kill me as an alcoholic, or if I am able to connect and consider others in the developments of my life.  And is it possible for me to have fun yet?  This question probes my ability to relax and surrender to the reality of the God of my understanding (GOMU) and our union in life.

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