Endigar 663 ~ An Act of Providence
From the Daily Reflections of January 9;
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 21)
My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism — everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down through this one act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me — one day at a time — in the life-saving, life-giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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A miracle is irrelevant until it happens. There is no planning for the intervention of God in my behalf. I believe that is because, I have been taught to look for external events as the manifestation of God’s power. I am looking for some magical bail out provided by GOMU (God of my understanding).
The only miracle that is relevant to me and my working of the Twelve Steps of AA is the transformation that takes place within Me. In my connection with God and others, I make a telephone call when every fiber of my alcoholic being wants to disappear into oblivion. I open up when the craving screams for me to lie and protect my secret sinkhole. The small transformations that I experience and capitalize on day by day are the only acts of providence that are truly relevant to me. It is a series of little resurrections that I cannot explain, but rely on greatly.
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