Endigar 661 ~ At the Turning Point
From the Daily Reflections of January 7;
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 59).
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing — and able — to change.
END OF QUOTE
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“. . . with complete abandon.” What an amazing place to be. Sexual release with someone that you absolutely trust is a comparable state of psyche. Leaping out of a flying airplane into the rushing wind equipped with a parachute in which you have invested trust. That requires such a moment which is the point of complete abandon. Diving into the unknown ocean depths depending on the viability of the scuba gear embracing your body is another such event.
The elements to achieve this complete abandon are finding something greater than your isolated being such as sexual energy, wide open sky, or a deep mysterious ocean, or a combination of all these found in a loving God. Then there is finding a place or system of protection that you are willing to trust, such as skill at intimate communication, or a parachute that can turn a fall into a flight, or gear that can give you a reprieve from drowning. All of these trust provoking situations can be found in the recovery fellowship and the pragmatic moral development of the Steps. Finally there is that one profound decision to let go and let it happen. That brings all the elements to life, and begins a lifestyle of realizing the reality of being connected with One Entity the desires to care for us. And the God of my understanding does protect and care for me, with complete abandon.
Daily Reprieve 
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