Endigar 642 ~ Understanding the Malady

From the Daily Reflections of December 19;

When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 139)

Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I.





I have been that weak, stupid, and irresponsible individual who has ridden the relapse rodeo in recovery. It is hard to learn to trust my own mind when I tell myself that I am indeed alcoholic when I have been so good at lying to myself in the past.  It is hard to lose faith in the chemical deliverance from the places I get locked into such as depression or boredom.  It is hard to remember the terrible consequences of the past when I tend to exaggerate or manufacture the miseries of the present. Now that I have overcome a hopeless state of mind and body. and know what I need to do to stay sober and make progress toward emotional stability, may I become better at giving away what I have acquired to those who still suffer.

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