Daily Reprieve

From the Daily Reflections of December 19;

When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 139)

Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I.

END OF QUOTE

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I have been that weak, stupid, and irresponsible individual who has ridden the relapse rodeo in recovery. It is hard to learn to trust my own mind when I tell myself that I am indeed alcoholic when I have been so good at lying to myself in the past.  It is hard to lose faith in the chemical deliverance from the places I get locked into such as depression or boredom.  It is hard to remember the terrible consequences of the past when I tend to exaggerate or manufacture the miseries of the present. Now that I have overcome a hopeless state of mind and body. and know what I need to do to stay sober and make progress toward emotional stability, may I become better at giving away what I have acquired to those who still suffer.

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This entry was posted on February 6, 2015 at 2:03 pm and is filed under Uncategorized with tags Addiction, Alcoholism, Daily Reflections, Journal, Life, Personal, Recovery, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.