Endigar 631 ~ Service

From the Daily Reflections of December 8;

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends — this is an experience you must not miss. . . . Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 89)

It is through service that the greatest rewards are to be found. But to be in a position of offering true, useful and effective service to others, I must first work on myself. This means that I have to abandon myself to God, admitting my faults and clearing away the wreckage of my past. Work on myself has taught me how to find the necessary peace and serenity to successfully merge inspiration and experience. I have learned how to be, in the truest sense, an open channel of sobriety.

 

END OF QUOTE

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chair

That selection from page 89 in the Big Book is probably one of the greatest desires I have for my membership in AA.  I truly do not want to miss the experience it describes.  I have had little flashes of this Fellowship Engulfment.  I am a bit of an extrovert cursed with a powerfully inhibiting social anxiety.

A fearless me.  What would that creature look like?  Would I suffocate others with toxic words and turn relationships into hostage situations? That picture of freedom serves no one.  I must have protective rituals in place so that I maintain my own spiritual life in private.  I cannot escape the reality that I will express myself from the depths of my heart.  The heart requires a frequent refill of spiritual life to remain awake and vibrant. It is essential that I am devoted to prayer and meditation so that I may be in union with the flow of the Infinite One, and tenth step inventories to keep my inner life open to Gomu (God of my understanding) for the usefulness to the Fellowship.

Artwork: Don Marquez

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