Endigar 572 ~ Self-Restraint

From the Daily Reflections of October 11;

Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 91)

My drive to work provides me with an opportunity for self-examination. One day while making this trip, I began to review my progress in sobriety, and was not happy with what I saw. I hoped that, as the work day progressed, I would forget these troublesome thoughts, but as one disappointment after another kept coming, my discontent only increased, and the pressures within me kept mounting.

I retreated to an isolated table in the lounge, and asked myself how I could make the most of the rest of the day. In the past, when things went wrong, I instinctively wanted to fight back. But during the short time I had been trying to live the A.A. program I had learned to step back and take a look at myself. I recognized that, although I was not the person I wanted to be, I had learned to not react in my old ways. Those old patterns of behavior only brought sorrow and hurt, to me and to others. I returned to my work station, determined to make the day a productive one, thanking God for the chance to make progress that day.

 

END OF QUOTE

————————————————–

10155797_710480429035592_8482332172506576082_n

This is almost exactly what has happened to me today, except I had no desire to fight back.  I instead was filled with an “all is futility” rumination.  I made the same retreat and came to the same conclusions.  Gomu (God of my understanding) is giving me confirmation of the better path I am able to chose because of my training in AA.  And I am ready to get back to work with a more trusting perspective of this recovery process.  It all works out, if you work at it.

(Unable to locate artist for image – viral on internet with no credit)

—————————

I posted the above comment seven years ago on Halloween of 2014. I went to a meeting today that used this Daily Reflections on Self-Restraint as the topic. Here is what I learned as I quietly attended. Emotional reaction often supercedes intelligent response. I have often recognized that emotions make powerful slaves to our carefully understood intent but horrible masters in guiding one’s life choices. The skill to pause and reflect allows me the valuable opportunity to hold my self accountable internally without having to later make an amends outwardly. It empowers me to attain a higher standard of self-expression. It also provides me with a more flexible world of mercy while I am embracing progress rather than perfection in sobriety. It also helps me to become an active listener to the reality of other’s lives in which I discover it is “not about what it’s about.” I also heard a saying that I shall collect and add to this blog:

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: