Endigar 489 ~ “The Good and the Bad”

From Yesterday’s Daily Reflections;

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.”   (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 76)

The joy of life is in the giving. Being freed of my shortcomings, that I may more freely be of service, allows humility to grow in me. My shortcomings can be humbly placed in God’s loving care and be removed. The essence of Step Seven is humility, and what better way to seek humility than by giving all of myself – good and bad – to God, so that He may remove the bad and return to me the good.

END OF QUOTE

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Is it possible that the good (the useful and constructive) that is in me has grown intertwined with and interdependent on the bad (the useless and destructive)?  Maybe this is why the removal of my short-comings are usually a process rather than an event.  When I drank, I could express myself freely and confidently.  Some of my intellectual, creative, and social gifts would manifest during intoxication along with my arrogance, insecurities, and self-pity.  In abstinence my short-comings are being removed, but I am disappointed when my gifts and skills seem to suffer as well.  Through humility I surrender the burden of self, and my Higher Power nurtures the wounded good things within and makes them apart of my day to day living, independent of my short-comings.  It is another way in which a life of sobriety can make the dark magic of mind altering chemicals obsolete.

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