Endigar 460 ~ A Two-Way Street

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

If we ask, God will certainly forgive our derelictions. But in no case does He render us white as snow and keep us that way without our cooperation.   (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 65)

When I prayed, I used to omit a lot of things for which I needed to be forgiven. I thought that if I didn’t mention these things to God, He would never know about them. I did not know that if I had just forgiven myself for some of my past deeds, God would forgive me also. I was always taught to prepare for the journey through life, never realizing until I came to A.A. – when I honestly became willing to be taught forgiveness and forgiving – that life itself is the journey. The journey of life is a very happy one, as long as I am willing to accept change and responsibility.

END OF QUOTE

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two-way-street

Before I entered the 12 Step recovery process, I lived a life of appeasement to God and others.  The prospect of fulfilling the ever changing and increasing expectations that had me surrounded was an act of perpetual futility.  I had to learn to find loopholes and rebuttals to delay the inevitable condemnation should my true self be exposed.  I learned to grovel before God begging for forgiveness.  I resented the humiliation of the process and yet feared being caught with anything not pardoned.

Gomu (God of my understanding) introduced me to my true self and, embracing that reality, set me on a process of becoming useful.  God’s forgiveness is designed to help remove obstacles to my maximum usefulness and the highest manifestation of myself.   I submit and surrender to God’s will so that my finite existence can be infused with Infinite empowerment and direction.  The ultimate goal is a growing  intimacy between myself and my Higher Power.

I have something desirable to bring to the table when appearing before the Infinite One, and that is the manifestation of myself in every opportunity of usefulness I can find.

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