Endigar 443 ~ Living in the Now

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

First, we try living in the now just in order to stay sober — and it works. Once the idea has become a part of our thinking, we find that living life in 24-hour segments is an effective and satisfying way to handle many other matters as well.   (Living Sober, page 7)

“One Day At A Time.” To a newcomer this and other one-liners of A.A. may seem ridiculous. The passwords of the A.A. Fellowship can become lifelines in moments of stress. Each day can be like a rose unfurling according to the plan of a Power greater than myself. My program should be planted in the right location, just as it will need to be groomed, nourished, and protected from disease. My planting will require patience, and my realizing that some flowers will be more perfect than others. Each stage of the petals’ unfolding can bring wonder and delight if I do not interfere or let my expectations override my acceptance — and this brings serenity.

END OF QUOTE

————————————————

10414409_311433479023097_838647004303168278_n

The anxiety I live with often perverts the concept of “One Day at a Time.”  I imagine that One Day is the throne from which I rule my eternal manifestation.  I try to stuff that day with so many desperate dreams.  My psych contains competing voices that lobby to be heard and vindicated with immediate and urgent action.  I spend a great deal of time attempting to work out a compromise, or suppressing many desires in hope of finding that one focus.

I used drinking to silence these internal arguments and second-guessing.  I used drinking to grab the nearest and most satisfying task and just do it.  I trusted the Higher Power of Alcohol and found my fulfillment in developing my relationship with its quick and easy presence.  I abdicated the process of living life.  Alcohol made me a fake copy of myself.  I was embracing death, one day at a time.

I have lost faith in Alcohol because of the humiliation I experienced under it cunning and predatory nature.  I continue to lose faith in my isolated self-reliance.

One Day at a time is a simple act of trust in my God.  The Voice of Gomu (God of my understanding) must be the one voice that I allow to overrule all others.  My fulfilled tasks are designed to see that I can trust my Higher Power.  I begin to build a record of little successes that vindicate my willingness to believe.

“On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives…we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration.  We come to rely upon it.”  ~ (Alcoholics Anonymous, pages 86,87)

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: