Endigar 401 ~ Cleaning House
From Yesterday’s Daily Reflections;
Somehow, being alone with God doesn’t seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 60)
It wasn’t unusual for me to talk to God, and myself, about my character defects. But to sit down, face to face, and openly discuss these intimacies with another person was much more difficult. I recognized in the experience, however, a similar relief to the one I had experienced when I first admitted I was an alcoholic. I began to appreciate the spiritual significance of the program and that this Step was just an introduction to what was yet to come in the remaining seven Steps.
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I have done the fifth step several times. I remember my sponsors yawning toward the end. Their stories seemed so much more dramatic than mine. I have never felt a sense of a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I just had to drop the expectations I had of myself and the program and get busy doing the work.
And the work is not over, I am sure.
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