Endigar 382 ~ The “Number One Offender”

From Today’s Daily Reflections;

Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick. (Alcoholics Anonymous, page 64)

As I look at myself practicing the Fourth Step, it is easy to gloss over the wrong that I have done, because I can easily see it as a question of “getting even” for a wrong done to me. If I continue to relive my old hurt, it is a resentment and resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. If I continue to relive hurts and hates, I will hurt and hate myself. After years in the dark of resentments, I have found the sunlight. I must let go of resentments; I cannot afford them.

END OF QUOTE

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For me, resentments are expectations gone wrong.  My expectations are usually exaggerated by fear.  So I am back to that tap root of my disease.  Resentments let me know that the dark Spring has come to awaken the death weeds scattered within me.  In the fourth step I am given a spiritual hoe to work the soil of my heart.  The tenth step reminds me to be vigilant when resentment begin cropping up again.

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